A Nice Jailing Should Teach This Terrible Mom To Let Her Nine-Year-Old Daughter Go To Park By Hersel

[doxydad]

We will wait while you wail and gnash your teeth and punch yourself in the face about these terrible so-called “parents” who endanger and abandon their children by letting them go to the park in the daytime in the summer where at least 40 other kids are playing at the same time. We just thank our lord and savior Jesus Christ that other parents were there to call the police on the “mom,” who was “working” at McDonalds at the time, for abandoning and endangering her nine-year-old, by letting her go to the park.

We mean, it’s no “leaving a 12-year-old in the car,” since wonderful community-minded Slate readers have already explained that “leaving a 12-year-old in the car” is a terrific opportunity to get your 911 on.

Debra Harrell works at McDonald’s in North Augusta, South Carolina. For most of the summer, her daughter had stayed there with her, playing on a laptop that Harrell had scrounged up the money to purchase. (McDonald’s has free WiFi.) Sadly, the Harrell home was robbed and the laptop stolen, so the girl asked her mother if she could be dropped off at the park to play instead.

Harrell said yes. She gave her daughter a cell phone. The girl went to the park—a place so popular that at any given time there are about 40 kids frolicking—two days in a row. There were swings, a “splash pad,” and shade. On her third day at the park, an adult asked the girl where her mother was. At work, the daughter replied.

The shocked adult called the cops. Authorities declared the girl “abandoned” and proceeded to arrest the mother.

And now the girl is under the protection of the Department of Social Services, where she will never have to worry about going to the park again. Let us all give a prayer of thanks.

Read more at http://wonkette.com/554155/a-nice-jailing-should-teach-this-terrible-mom-to-let-her-nine-year-old-daughter-go-to-park-by-herself#gv9l16QHIqI5oUbT.99

[MineralMan]

1. Nine is a little young for free-ranging, I think.

Even in my 1950s small town in California, I didn't get to be a free-range kid until I was 11 years old. Before that, adult supervision or a clearly identified plan of where I was going and what I would be doing was required. After 11, the rules changed to, "I want you back here for lunch/supper."

Playing in the park at 9, unsupervised? I don't think so, for either girls or boys. Supervision is needed in that situation, and you can't depend on other kid's parents for supervision.

That said, this mother shouldn't have been arrested or her child taken. A stern lecture would have been adequate.

[cali]

2. I was a free range kid in small town Connecticut the summer I turned 10

which is when my family moved from LA.

I think it depends on the location or the park. and fuck the stern lectures. How about a subsidized camp experience for kids like this?

[MineralMan]

4. I'd prefer the lecture to being jailed and having my kid

taken away, I think. Yes, a free day camp would be terrific. Did you notice which state this was in? What do you think the chances of free day camps might be there.

Frankly, the child's safety is the only real issue. I do not know that community or whether it would be safe there for a nine-year-old girl to play in a park without direct supervision. Do you?

[Demit]

31. It's right across the street from a middle school. In a neighborhood of middle class homes.

And I grew up in what you probably would refer to in horrified tones, because you don't know the community, as an inner city neighborhood. We roamed all over, including, but not limited to, playgrounds.

[hlthe2b]

5. Depends on the child... seriously

Last edited Tue Jul 15, 2014, 12:26 PM - Edit history (1)

My parents were able to trust me at that age to do similar-- Given we walked to school and stayed after for sports or other extracurricular activities, all sans cell phones, only the times were different. I did not live in a crime free city, either.

Some kids are mature beyond their years... Others I'm not sure I'd trust alone at 17.

I do not automatically assume wrong-doing or irresponsibility here--at all.

[MineralMan]

6. Yes, of course it does. But we have no information about that.

Many jurisdictions have age limits for unsupervised children, even in latch-key home situations. Here in Minnesota, the age is 12. Children under that age cannot be left unsupervised anywhere, even in their own home. Lots of people ignore that law, of course, but there it is. I live in St. Paul, MN, in a neighborhood that's a lot like an old 1950s neighborhood. Children move freely between houses, and older kids ride their bikes to the lake and park nearby. But, I don't see 9-year-olds unsupervised or alone. Groups of young kids often go from one house to the other on their own, or ride bicycles on the sidewalks, but there is really no free-ranging going on.

[hlthe2b]

20. So you think it is wrong to let a 9 yo walk to school unaccompanied?

[MineralMan]

21. That isn't what this was about, now, is it?

Of course kids can walk to school. I did it, starting in kindergarten. I walked 6 blocks to school, starting then. Usually, I walked with some other kid my age who was also heading off to school. Then, I walked home, where my Mom gave me a cookie or some other snack, before I went out to play with my friends nearby.

This article was not about that. It was about a kid being left in a park all day while Mom was at work. Go to Google News and search for Park Abduction. Parks are prime hunting grounds for pedophiles, and unattended kids are their prey.

There is a difference between walking to school and spending the day at the park.

[hlthe2b]

22. You said the age at which a child should be allowed to move about unaccompanied is 12...

I'm asking for clarification. And, yes, this is germaine to the case at hand. If a child is trusted to walk alone to school--whether it be a few blocks, a mile, or more, then why would they NOT be trusted to play in a nearby park unaccompanied/

I'm asking because I'd sincerely like to know what you think the difference is.

[MineralMan]

24. Read my last sentence again.

One is travelling to a safe destination. The other is hanging around a potentially unsafe situation. Kids walking to and from school are moving from one place to another, typically in the company of other children. Hanging around in the park unaccompanied is a very different matter. Each activity has different requirements and potential for problems.

I don't think there should have been any arrest or removal of the child, and I said so. Some education would be nice, though, for the mother. Unaccompanied and unsupervised kids at parks are the prey of some people. Think about it.

[hlthe2b]

25. Think about it yourself. You are being very condescending. So, you can just "talk" to yourself.

[pnwmom]

57. The OP said there were lots of kids in the park. So she wasn't any more alone there

than she would have been walking to school.

I used to take my young children to the park and there were lots of older kids there who had just walked over from their nearby houses. I never thought it was wrong for their parents to let them be there unsupervised. One of the advantages of living near a park is that it's like having a huge backyard. And a park with plenty of children and their parents around is a fine place for a 9 year old to play.

[pnwmom]

56. The girl had a cell phone and her mother was nearby at McDonald's.

And there were lots of other children around in the park. I don't think she was at any more risk in that situation than if she were walking ALONE to school.

[pnwmom]

53. In your state an 11 year old can be left home alone for up to 12 hours.

A 9 year old for up to three. This girl was probably going back to McDonald's for lunch and snacks, so I bet she wasn't alone more than a few hours at a time.

http://isanticountynews.com/2012/04/25/is-your-child-old-enough-to-stay-home-alone/

Children age 7 and under should not be left alone for any period of time

• Children ages 8-10 may be left alone for up to three hours

• Children ages 11-13 may be left alone for up to 12 hours

• Children ages 14-15 may be left alone for up to 24 hours

[moriah]

85. "Home alone" is very different than out in public, and IMHO should be treated differently.

First, there's the juvenile curfew issues. Even in the summer, most cities with juvenile daytime curfews enforce them in the summer. I can't find any evidence that North Augusta has one, but it's a consideration for others who are struggling with the decision of what to do about child care. If your city has a daytime curfew, it could bring a slew of other charges besides leaving a minor unattended.

Secondly, and more importantly, are safety issues. Stranger abductions are extremely rare, but strangers with nefarious intentions befriend kids lacking attention/supervision (despite the parent's best efforts) at home far too often.

The summer I was 10 was the first summer there wasn't an adult home all day -- we had just moved out of my grandparent's house, and my mother was trying to make it on her own. My adult sister lived with us (as I mentioned in the other thread re: home alone recently) and babysat me at night when Mom worked weekend nights, but wasn't always home all day. They felt I was old enough to stay home by myself. However, our complex had a swimming pool, and you couldn't go swimming by yourself until you were 12. A stranger with nefarious intentions we met swimming that summer (though young, a few years younger than my sister) befriended the family and offered to be the babysitter so I could go swimming.... and molested me.

The fact that the kid was so honest about the situation to the adult who asks tells me that the child was both too young to be unsupervised in public, and would have been vulnerable to the same type of tactics used against me. In my case, he fooled my entire family so I'm not saying those nefarious strangers can't be convincing. However, this kid was willing to tell a complete stranger that her mother had left her there, that she was a mile and a half away, that she would be there all day unless she walked to the McDonalds, and that she was left there "all the time" -- if you aren't saying "egads" to yourself, you've forgotten the first rule of being a latchkey kid... saying "Sorry, Mom's really busy, can I take a message?" not "Oh, Mom's at work and won't be home until 6".

Thank God the stranger she told didn't decide to take advantage of the situation. (Edit to add: I'd have been far more comfortable had the kid said "Oh, Mom's in the bathroom... I'll go find her" then ran off and called her Mom to tell her some weird-ass stranger was asking her funky questions.)

[pnwmom]

90. A curfew is irrelevant in this case -- this was during the day. And if she had an emergency

she might have been safer in that park with other parents around to help, and her mother close by and available by cell phone -- than if she were home alone.

A friend of mine had a first seizure in a park and strangers helped him and called medical help. Lucky for my friend he wasn't home alone. This would actually be more likely to happen than a stranger abduction.

I'm very sorry about what happened to you -- that was terrible. But your own story points out the error in thinking a 9 year old automatically is less safe alone in a park than somewhere with "supervision." Many people have hired babysitters who turned out to be molesters, and other parents have allowed children to be around relatives who were molesters. Both the people I know who were molested were molested by relatives at home -- not by strangers in parks. And, as you probably know, most children who are molested are molested by an adult their parent knows.

How do you know exactly what the girl told the person in the park as opposed to what she told the police? I agree that children should be taught not to confide in strangers. That also goes for children at home -- they shouldn't be telling people on the phone that their parents around around.

[moriah]

92. DAYTIME curfews, hon. DAYTIME.

Sorry to yell, but I said "daytime" like about 5 times in my post. Yes, they exist. My city had one when I was growing up, and since I was homeschooled as a teenager it meant I couldn't ride the public bus over to where I tutored another child who was also being homeschooled -- could only ride it back, because the daytime curfew went until 2:30 PM.

""Police say Harrell's daughter told a witness that her mother would drop her off all the time to play at the park while Harrell was at work." -- http://www.wjbf.com/story/25915218/north-augusta-mother-charged-with-unlawful-conduct-towards-a-child

I said stranger abduction was rare, we are not in disagreement with that, but child molestation is not. Most often the stranger with candy doesn't start out with heavy petting -- by the time molestation occurs, the stranger is usually no longer a stranger. They've wormed their way in, but they all start out as strangers, and they look for kids who are vulnerable... which this child was. I stand by what I said: the facts of this particular case tell me this child was too young and trusting to be left alone in a public venue. I'm glad the stranger called the cops rather than deciding to befriend the family and offer to be the babysitter, for a nefarious reason.

[pnwmom]

93. I never heard of a daytime curfew anywhere before. One more thing for me not to like.

I've just read about some of them. A kid playing on a public sidewalk with her friends on her own block -- even during a school vacation -- could be snatched by the police and charged with a curfew violation. What a sad country we are turning into.

But nothing I read about the city of N. Augusta said the city had a curfew or the girl was charged with violating it.

[moriah]

97. Aww, you remembered I was an Arkie! ;)

Little Rock implemented their daytime curfew laws to keep teenagers from skipping school and to decrease youth crime (there was a lot of gang activity in the late 80's/early 90's here), but they applied in summer months, too.

From everything I've read, this woman would have been legally in the clear to have left her child home alone in South Carolina. Age 9 or older is fine for latchkey kids there.

It would have also been a hell of a lot safer, in my opinion, than dropping her off at a park, no matter how bored she might have been... or she could have hung out at work, again, no matter how bored she might have been. That's really what gets me about this case, and a case I read about where a woman blogged about leaving her 5-year-old son in the car for 5 minutes because he threw a temper tantrum about going into the store (had cops show up at her doorstep an hour or so later, someone had called in the license plate number). This woman was lucky that she had a job where her child could hang out -- she had free babysitting, yet gave in to her child's desire to not be bored at the expense of her safety.

There are times when being a parent sucks -- when you have to be the "bad guy". There are a lot of things kids might not like to do that a good parent *must* make them do: eat their veggies, take a bath, go to school, do their homework.... and I'm not saying any of it is easy. But just because your kid wants something doesn't mean it's the right thing for them, whether it's to stay in the car for five minutes or play in the park while you're at work.

[bemildred]

12. I was a kid in upstate New York in the 50s, and I was free range as far back as I can remember.

Last edited Tue Jul 15, 2014, 11:04 AM - Edit history (1)

As was every other kid in the tiny little town.

[plcdude]

18. me too

grew up in 50's spent the summer riding bikes and going swimming in Lake Ontario almost everyday.

[bemildred]

19. We ran around in herds, and everybody kept an eye on us.

[2banon]

86. I was "free range" at 6 in california in the 50's.

all the kids were as far as I knew. at least all the kids that played wherever I went in the neighborhood park, front and back yards. always outside, never "accompanied" by any adult.

kids can't do that much today unfortunately at least not here in Oakland Ca.

but South Carolina? really? sheesh.

[Warpy]

87. I grew up in a series of places

Some were suburban, some were urban. I was mostly free range at six or seven, no restrictions as long as I stayed within earshot. By the age of nine, I was riding a bicycle and I got a wrist watch so I'd know when to come home. We knew not to rid our bikes on the busy street close to the neighborhood, but were permitted to cross it on Saturdays for the matinee marathon of B-movies.

Except for an increase in swaggering assholes with chips on their shoulders and guns in their waistbands, the country hasn't gotten appreciably more dangerous.

[cyberswede]

23. The city pool in the small city where I grew up allowed 9 year olds alone...

So we'd ride our bikes over there and stay the entire day. The pool was located in a park, so we'd play in the park, too.

[Bettie]

79. The pool in our town currently allows 8 year olds to come to the pool alone

Mine have gone and stayed all day since they turned 8....the older two are now 11 and 13.

My 5 year old would love that, but he's five.

This whole story is ridiculous.

I bet the same people who are all upset about the kid being at a park instead of sitting at McDonald's all day are the ones who also decry the inactivity of today's children.

Then again, I have a friend who still sends her 14 year old to daycare all summer because she's afraid of her being alone. I guess it depends on your level of fear and helicopter-ness.

[LWolf]

27. Maybe.

Of course, the children of poor working parents have always been precocious.

I was. In the 1960s in the big San Fernando Valley I was an early latch-key kid; my single mom worked to keep us sheltered and fed, and I knew how to take care of myself. Playing unsupervised at 9? Yes. If my mom was at work and I wasn't at school for the day, I was on my own. I DID have expectations about responsible, safe behavior, but I was free to ride my bike, roller skate, or head to the library or a friends house, and I did.

By the time I was ten I was taking the bus anywhere I wanted to go, and was often gone all day without any contact with my working mom.

That said, I was not so permissive with my own sons. I knew better. Yet, while I kept them safe and secure, I'm often sad, remembering the freedom I enjoyed that modern kids just don't get to experience.

[MineralMan]

30. When I was 9, I could do some things, but not others.

I could ask my mom, "Can I go over to Vernon's house?" Vernon lived three blocks away. My mom would ask, "Is Vernon's mother home?" She usually was, but that was a condition of her permission.

I could go to the library, but I had to ask first. It was six blocks from my house. I went to the library a lot. My mom was fine with it, as long as she knew where I was going.

What I could not do at age 9 was walk out the door and wander wherever I wanted to without telling her my destination and answering whatever questions she had. I could not, for example, go wandering around in the hills near my home or hike up the creek alone. If I was with a friend or two, then that would be OK, too, but not by myself, unsupervised. I'd have a time limit, too.

At 11, all of those restrictions were dropped. In fact, during the summer and on weekends, it was pretty much expected that I'd be out somewhere of my own choice, doing whatever it was that I wanted to do. But, at 9, there were still limitations on my movements and activities.

Age-based limitations are fine. They're part of good parenting. I had more freedom than some kids my age, and less than others. I guess my mom knew my capabilities and foibles pretty well, and adjusted those limitations as needed.

[LWolf]

34. You make my point.

You were asking your mom. She was there.

There are many, many kids who don't have an adult supervising their days. Blaming the working parent isn't really helpful; a babysitter makes an incredible dent on what someone working at McDonalds makes.

[MineralMan]

38. I'm blaming nobody, frankly.

It was wrong to arrest that woman and take her child. Normally, as the article said, the child hung out at her mom's workplace with a laptop computer. When that laptop was no longer available, the workplace was boring, so mom let her go to the park. Mom's workplace, with Mom present, is safer than the park, in general.

In the city where I live, St. Paul, MN, leaving a 9 year old alone at home is a violation of the law. Lots of people do it, and the law isn't enforced, because nobody knows who's at home and who's not. But, the law is still there, and it does get enforced from time to time, when attention is drawn to a child alone who is under the age of 12. The same law applies to unattended children who are alone in other public places, too. The reason for the law is to protect the safety of children. Is the age set appropriately? I don't know.

Someone called the cops. They overreacted. What happened to the woman and her child should not have happened. I'm blaming nobody, just discussing the situation.

[Demit]

39. You sound like you would've done what the busybody did, call the cops on the mother.

God you sound insufferable. Filtering another person's choices through your own life experiences. You know, maybe the girl's mother knows her child the way your mother knew you. She certainly knows her child better than you possibly could.

[MineralMan]

44. Actually, no, I wouldn't have called the cops.

In fact, I wouldn't have even noticed the child, since I'm never in parks during the daytime. Instead, I'm working at my desk at home during the day.

I don't think the police are the appropriate people to call, anyhow in such a situation. Calling the mother would have been more appropriate. The little girl had a cell phone, and knew how to contact her mom. The other mom who noticed the girl alone could have asked her to call her mom.

I believe you've misunderstood what I wrote.

What I'd like to see is free, government-funded daycare for children not in school that is available to everyone. That's what I'd like to see. We don't have that, though.

[Demit]

76. Yes, the girl could've called her mother any time she needed to. She didn't feel she needed to.

She was playing in a park, that had a playground. A free, government-funded facility, if you will. Playgrounds are where nine-year-olds play in summer! She didn't need to be in daycare, she wasn't a tot in diapers.

She was happily playing in a place that had a slew of other children there. She wasn't in distress, she wasn't sitting all alone on a bench crying, she wasn't being bullied, she wasn't in danger. She was playing. What would have been the point of making her call her mother? Why was it appropriate to call anyone?

You might have had a very controlled environment growing up; this woman might be raising her kids that way, but that doesn't make yours the only correct way for kids to grow up. Or to take it on yourselves to decide what's 'appropriate' in an otherwise benign situation. This woman's actions were atrocious.

[moriah]

91. That's what scares me -- she didn't feel she needed to, and instead...

... answered all those questions from that stranger. That stranger learned *very* quickly that this child was left alone while their mother went to work, that they worked at the McDonald's, that she'd be there alone all day unless she walked back there, and the scariest part... that she was there "all the time".

No. Nuh-uh. The question "Where's your mom?" should have been met with something like "Oh, she's over there..." followed by getting away from the stranger, and calling Mom to tell her some stranger was asking questions.

Not blabbing out exactly the information a pedophile would need to know how to schedule the next few weeks to groom their victim.

[pnwmom]

58. Your situation was the same as than the girl's then -- except the girl had a cell phone

which makes her safer. Her mother didn't just send her out there willy nilly. She knew she was going to the park, and that she could call on her cell if she needed to. And she knew that she could walk back to McDonald's any time she wanted.

[mike_c]

29. when I was nine I had a bicycle...

...that I rode for hours and hours, alone or with friends, for many miles. My parents had no idea where I actually was for most of that time. We did not have portable phones in those days, either. By the time I was nine and ten I had thoroughly explored our town and the surrounding countryside, and spent most of every summer day miles from home.

[MineralMan]

32. Different parents; different standards.

I didn't have that freedom until I was 11. At 9, I could ride my bike, but only within an area a few blocks from my home. At 11, nobody bothered about where I was going or when I'd be back. Age and my parents' rules.

[mike_c]

40. my point was that children need to develop independence and self assurance...

...by spending time unsupervised by adults. As you note, different parents approach that need differently, but in our generation I think parents were generally much less fearful about letting kids have that unsupervised time. Yes, we got hurt sometimes. I still have some scars. And yes, we got into trouble sometimes, both deliberately and unforeseen.

My daughter home-schooled for much of her childhood, at her request. She was (and is) blazingly smart, so study time was relatively brief, most days. She had LOTS of time on her hands, while most of the other kids in the neighborhood were in school during the day, and she often used it much like I did when I was a kid-- exploring and rambling. She learned all the city bus routes by simply getting on buses and riding them to wherever they went (she was a dependent of full time students and grad students for much of her childhood, and rode city buses for free). She spent parts of most days at a large park that included acres and acres of wooded trails, lakes, and bike paths, all of it unsupervised. We actually used to joke that if child protective services ever found out how she spent her days, they'd have a fit. It was probably true, given the OP. But she grew up much like I did, with lots of freedom to be a kid on her own terms, and to explore the world she lived in. She turned out pretty well, I think.

[Gormy Cuss]

43. And yet you were allowed to walk to school alone in kindergarten?

I'm sorry,that's some really inconsistent parenting. Six blocks gives predators plenty of chances to snatch a kid.

[MineralMan]

45. Not inconsistent. When I walked to school, I was walking to school

at the same time every kid in the neighborhood was walking to school. We were going from a safe destination to another safe destination, two by two and four by four. Nobody was alone, and we all knew each other. Slim pickings for a predator, really. Same thing after school.

Very different situation from spending the day in a park.

[Gormy Cuss]

47. That is not at all different from a child playing in a park with other kids.

She was surrounded by kids and probably quite a few parents. If your walk to school was slim pickings for a predator so was this situation with a much older child.

[joeglow3]

50. A full park now doesn't guarantee a full park three hours from now.

[Gormy Cuss]

54. And the child had a cellphone

so if she was bored or threatened etc. she could call her mother or 911. Since I don't know the area I can't say that the girl could walk to the McD's, but if the area has sidewalks it's not much of a walk for a 9 year old.

Kids have been abducted on their walks to school too and that was my point. Etan Patz comes to mind.

[pnwmom]

59. If there was no one there to play with she probably would have just walked back to McD. n/t

[gcomeau]

35. Ugh...

9 is what, 4th grade? I was free ranging in second, as was every other kid I knew. And it wasn't at the park, it was in the woods. (Within a 30 minute high speed bike ride of the house... so a few miles ranging radius. And there were no constant cell phone check-ins)

Coddlers...

[ChisolmTrailDem]

42. I was a free-range kid at the age of 9. No one ever looked sideways at me and my friends playing

around a rather large neighborhood surrounded by woods and adjacent to a river. I played at the park every single day, especially in the summer.

Mom and Dad were never subjected to jail or a stern lecture by authoritarians.

[muriel_volestrangler]

49. There was a "clearly identified plan" - she was in the park

which is a very public place. And she'd go to the McDonald's for lunch. I don't know exactly when my parents started letting my go into town on my bike alone, but I suspect it would have been about 9 - when my older brother would have gone away to boarding school (I can't remember a 'loss of freedom' when that happened, and I used to go in with him). Yeah, they had to know where I was going, and when I'd be back. But that's basically what this girl had. I agree nothing more than a lecture was needed, but I'm not sure it needed to be 'stern'.

[pnwmom]

60. I agree with everything you say except for any kind of lecture being needed.

She had a cell phone and was within walking distance of her mother and -- as you say -- was probably going back to her mother for lunch (and snacks).

If the mother was at home during the day, probably no one would think twice about this. Somehow it's worse that the mother was nearby at McDonalds than nearby at home.

[pnwmom]

52. I'm younger than you and I went all over my neighborhood during the summer.

So did my husband and my friends.

Besides, this girl was within walking distance of where her mother was working and had a cell phone -- which we never had. The mom knew this girl was in the nearby park and had a way to contact her. How was this worse than how your parents letting you go out as long as they had a"clearly identified plan" of where you were going?

[valerief]

55. I'm an old city rat. At 9, we used to go joy-riding on the subway.

We'd figure a way to sneak in for free and go to a downtown stop with a long escalator. Then before the next train stopped, we'd open the box with the escalator controls and turn the escalator off. We laughed our asses off when people had to walk all the way up.

Now, I realize we were little monsters. I could never understand why those switches were available either, but they were. And no adult passenger ever knew to turn them on.

We lived across the street from a park and a beach and were always wandering there without adults. In fact, we'd look like wusses if we were with adults.

Actually, by 7 or 8, I was sent to a sort of convenience store (a fruit stand actually) a few blocks away to buy cigarettes for my mother. Whether I went alone or with another friend didn't matter. We city rats all wandered and explored.

Amazing how times have changed.

[dixiegrrrrl]

75. My Mom must have hated me then.

I free ranged from age 8 on up, and we lived in a LOT of little towns.
"Be home at dusk" was the rule.
We even lived IN a National Forest and I was outside roaming around, unsupervised, all the time.
Fished in teh rivers, picked berries, climbed those tall Douglas firs.
And kept an eye on my brother, who was six, doing everything I did.
Out of sight of the house, of a parent, the whole time.

[Ilsa]

3. I agree with MineralMan.

The mom needed to enlist the help of other mothers she knows to take her daughter to the park. I wonder if the YMCA had a program she could have attended for free?

[alcibiades_mystery]

15. The checks I write for YMCA summer camp for my 8 year old would argue against that

[Ilsa]

78. I've paid for summer camp at Y for mine, but

I think our Y had sponsors for those in need. LOTS of kids there.

[pnwmom]

64. The YMCA offers nothing without a fee. n/t

[Ilsa]

77. I think there might have been sponsors.

The poorest kids I saw at my kid's summer camp were at a Y. There were hundreds.

[Orsino]

7. Criminalize poverty much?

I would question letting a nine-year-old roam, too, but jailing the parent seems horrifically excessive.

Hats off to the McD's managers who had let the kid hang out in the restaurant.

[gwheezie]

8. I was a single parent and worked at a low wage job when my daughter was a toddler

I didn't leave her alone but seriously, unless you are in that position of not being able to afford childcare and constantly dreading if you are going to have a safe place for your kid to spend the day, you have no idea how stressful it is. I was a nurse's aid for 8 years while I was going to school, sometimes I had my childcare all worked out and I would get stuck with mandatory overtime. Do I walk off my job? Do I try to make other arrangements while at work trying to do my job and not really sure if they are sufficient? Do I go to plan b or c?

I'll never forget the day I was stuck at work during a snow storm and called the kindergarden my daughter attended to ask if school was being let out early. I had also called my baby sitter, a neighbor who's kid went to school with my daughter to see if she was also stuck at work. Both of us took the bus to work, she got home at 230pm and she said she was going to leave early. Anyway, the nuns that ran the private school that my daughter went to because I had to send her there since the public school was so pathetic and the private school would keep her all day rather than half a day told me that they were not letting school out early. They kept the kids until 6pm for an extra fee. I didn't pay the extra fee since I was already paying double tuition for all day school and Juan's mom was home by 230pm most days. The nun I spoke to said they were keeping school open and not close until 6pm as usual. So I finished my shift and got on the bus. Back before cell phones so I could not further check up on the kids. Anyway, my hour 2 bus trip took 3 hours and when I got home, Juan's mother was frantic. No kids. We went to the school and no school or kids were there, got hold of one of the nuns after banging on doors and she said they had let kids out at 1130 am. 1130 am! That was an hour after I called and was told school was not being let put early. No one called me or Juan's mom. It was close to 6pm, dark, 2 feet of snow and our kids had been missing since 1130am. The nun told both of us of we were that worried about our kids we should stop working and stay home to take care of them. You can never do the right thing when you are low income, someone always thinks you suck as a parent.

Anyway, we went to the licquor store, the bodega, the numbers guy, the locksmith shop and all of them saw the kids. The guy in the liquor store said he saw them with a guy, some drunk guy. One of the neighborhood guys named Fernando. We went to his apartment, no one there. We walked for blocks until we got to a bar and there they were, in the bar with drunk Fernando drinking a ginger ale, he said he found them walking around and crying and tried to bring them home but no one was there so he brought them along with him to the bar. That's how Fernando and I became friends, he was a saint, a drunk, kind saint. RIP mi amigo Fernando. He saved those kids by having the good sense to bring them in from the storm and take care of them rather than call the cops, he took them to a gay bar filled with men who took care of them, a safe place, a place were people looked out for them until we found them.

[MineralMan]

9. Shame on those daycare nuns for turning the kids out on the street!

But good for Fernando. A good guy, even if a drunk guy.

[earthside]

33. And another example of why ...

... persons who have taken a vow of celibacy, "married the church' are "brides of Christ" and have never had children should really keep their mouths shut with their 'moral' imperatives about why and how others have children and how they ought to be raised.

[greatlaurel]

16. Best post ever. Can't stop crying, brought back so many of those old terrors.

Poverty sucks. People who have to work low wage jobs never catch a break from anybody. If you work, you are a bad parent, if you can somehow stay home, you are a bad parent and a welfare fraud. So tired of the constant bashing of the working class. I got the same garbage from the nasty men I worked with about how I was a bad parent because I worked. My kids got left at home a few times when the oldest was 9 because we lived in a rural area and there was no one to ask for help. The grandparents were all dead and all our relatives were working or lived hours away.

All the other mothers, this woman knows, are in the same boat she is, just trying to scramble to get by ever single day. They cannot plan ahead one day, let alone a week, to arrange for taking the kids to the park. They are all working low wage jobs with work schedules that change every day and if they miss work or turn down the change in hours they get fired. When do these people get a chance to plan so every plan has a back with another back up? The stress of poverty prevents the brain from functioning at optimal levels on top of everything else.

The few moms that get to stay home are like the busybody that called the police about the little girl at the park. Why couldn't she check with the mom before she called the police and offer to watch the girl at the park that day until the mom got back?

The nearest YMCA to where I live is an hour round trip and they charge for everything. Besides that, the kid would be better off at the park than around the creepy adults that run that particular YMCA, YMMV. We need federally subsidized child care and fully paid family leave, but that will never happen when all the suburbanites can look down their noses at the working class and loudly claim "don't have kids you cannot pay for" as if that helps in any shape or fashion.

RIP Fernando, a better human being than all the conservative busybodies put together.

Thank you for your post.

[Arugula Latte]

51. What sweet, caring nuns, so filled with the love of their lord and savior...

[PowerToThePeople]

10. I was probably "free range" by that age

I came from a single parent family too. I am sure that by 9 (4th grade) I was just doing pretty much whatever I wanted. I had a house key and knew the number to my mother's work and how to get there if there was an emergency. It wasn't too long of a bike ride.

This is a very sad story.

[hedgehog]

11. I was pretty much free range when I was 6. I know I was walking down the rail road tracks

to the park to swim or ice skate when I was 8 or 9.

A 9 year old alone on a playground? That makes perfect sense to me. It depends on the 9 year old, of course, but kids that age should be able to behave properly without supervision on a playground.

BTW - why is it no surprise at all that the mother ( and presumably the daughter) is African-American.

http://www.wfxg.com/story/25915268/mother-accused-of-leaving-child-alone-at-park-while-at-work

I wonder what would have happened had the little girl replied that her mother was at home rather than work!

[leftyladyfrommo]

13. I was going to the park by myself when I was 3 or 4.

That would have been 1952.

There was a wading pool and swings and stuff over there. We went all the time.

[gollygee]

14. I imagine she couldn't afford child care

So she found a safe place for her kid to have fun and play and gave her a cell phone for if she got scared or had questions. Summer vacation is hard on parents who don't make enough money for childcare. I've had a lot of friends on Facebook talk about how much they hate leaving their kids alone at home for hours while they work but how they can't afford to pay more for childcare than they make at their jobs.

Edited to add that we walked to a park and played their for hours at a time alone with no cell phones when I was younger than 9.

[Sheldon Cooper]

17. I think losing your child to social services, and going to jail, is too extreme.

But letting a 9-year old run free really can be pretty dangerous. Predators look for unattended kids and can steal them away with no one the wiser. Still, I feel sorry for the mom.

[Nye Bevan]

26. Nobody should be leaving a 9 year old child to her own devices for hours at a time.

Even if the child has been given a cellphone.

Having said that, the mother should have been given a warning, and told not to do this again, as opposed to being jailed and having her daughter taken away. A parenting class would probably be a good idea.

[pnwmom]

61. Why? Her mother was within walking distance. The only difference between this girl's

situation and most people I knew growing up was that her mother was in McDonald's instead of at home. And she had a cell phone, which is more connected than we were. And she was likely going back to McD every time she got hungry or thirsty.

Why is this worse than having to sit at McDonald's with an iPad for hours at a time?

[Nye Bevan]

62. Disfigured body found in dumpster of girl, 7, who went missing from park

At around 5pm on Friday, she left the park to go and collect drinks from home for her friends. She disappeared between the playground and her home at the River Ridge Apartments.

Police had sent several Coca-Cola cans found nearby for forensic testing to see if these are the drinks that the child had gone to collect for her friends.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2070165/Jorelys-Rivera-7-abducted-park-Canton-Georgia.html

[pnwmom]

63. Children in the US aren't less safe today than they were 30 years ago.

There's just a perception that they aren't.

A child is much more likely to be killed in a car accident going to a park than in a park by a murderer.

[Nye Bevan]

66. I would not be able to forgive myself if I left my 9-year old alone for hours

and something happened to her. I believe in minimizing risks as much as possible. I do what I can to avoid car accidents and I do what I can to keep my kids safe from predators.

[Gormy Cuss]

68. The play area is inside of her apartment complex

and chances are that the girl knew the predator on sight as a worker at the complex and let down her guard.
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/mother-slain-7-year-old-suing-apartment-complex-hi/nfTbc/

[Xithras]

28. Did the kid have somewhere to go if she was sick/tired/hurt?

That's the real question that needs to be answered. I had a very free ranging childhood, and I encouraged the same in my own kids, so I'm not a helicopter parent in any sense of the term. It was always understood, however, that we/they could go home if we needed. If I got too hot and needed somewhere cooler, or if I was tired and needed somewhere to lay down, or if I cut something and needed a bandaid, or if I got too dirty and needed to clean off, I could always walk or ride my bike home and do whatever it was I needed to do. Even when my parents were working and I was "free ranging", I had a key to the house and could let myself in if needed.

That, I think, is the difference between "abandonment" and having a "free range kid". Did the child have a place that she could retreat to if she didn't want to be at the park anymore, or didn't feel safe there any longer? The article says that the mom drove her to the park, but doesn't really make it clear whether the girl had the option of going back home or to the mothers job when she was done playing.

[pnwmom]

65. She could have gone back to her mother at McDonald's, or called on her cell.

It was the daughter's idea to hang out in the park because she was too bored just sitting at McDonald's.

[Xithras]

69. Then it wasn't abandonment.

If the kid had somewhere to go, then the kid wasn't abandoned.

[pnwmom]

70. Also, there is no clear law in SC that applies to this situation. And the mother is black.

When a law is vaguely written, then it is up to police and social workers to interpret. And their own biases can come into play.

[zazen]

36. where is the father in all of this? it's like asexual reproduction here

or that PBS show on otters I saw last week, where the mothers bear all of the burden of raising and feeding and protecting their young.

Another human also had sex to create this child, didn't bear the stress of pregnancy, labor and post-partum, and apparently has no responsibility in helping to take care of this child while her mom works a minimum wage job and presumably can't afford childcare.

I wouldn't speculate here otherwise, but since I see so much speculation upthread about her, her, her, I just wonder why all of the responsibility of the world (and blame) is on her and not on him.

If a father had been arrested for this, people would have been asking about the whereabouts of the mother, you can be sure.

[gwheezie]

37. Ya know the more I think about this

I can't believe the other mom called the cops. I've been in the situation where there was a lone kid left somewhere and stayed with the kid or found out where the mom was. This happened all the time at the horseback riding stable I taught lessons at years ago, but again they were white kids left by affluent parents who were not at work but nonetheless left them there all day.I can't tell you how many times me and a kid would be sitting there waiting for mom to come get them.And I really didn't want to get stuck there either, I taught riding part time in exchange for free board for my horse and worked nights, I needed to get home to sleep. I told my story above about when my kid was left stranded and I just wouldn't call the cops. What if the kid just said oh my mom is home and she's getting me later? would that have been ok?

[pnwmom]

71. And young kids are left at libraries all day. And it isn't the librarian's job to babysit them. n/t

[uppityperson]

41. She went to work with mom, but then got dropped off at the park twice? How long was she at the park

I see nothing wrong with her being dropped off at a park to play for a few hours. Mom knew where she was, many other kids were there. If she was left to be there all day, that would be different.

But there is not enough information here to tell.

The poor mom, in more than 1 way. Stuck working at McDonalds for crap wages, and having to take care of her child also. This is a difficult age for kids because often they are too old for daycare, if anything affordable can be found, yet too young to be on their own all day.

Finally, let me guess their skin color. Of to research.

Yup. Good guess.

A bit more info at this link...
http://www.wjbf.com/story/25915218/north-augusta-mother-charged-with-unlawful-conduct-towards-a-child


http://www.businessinsider.com/woman-arrested-for-letting-her-9-year-old-play-alone-at-a-park-2014-7

[Gormy Cuss]

46. At 9 years old the school board decided that I was old enough to cross a major 6-way intersection

without a crossing guard.

Half of my fourth grade class was transferred to a low enrollment school an additional half mile away. My previous walk to school was through residential streets with the only moderately high traffic intersection having a crossing guard. The additional walk involved going through the commercial district.

The parents of the transferred kids asked for crossing guards at the 6-way intersection and the school board said it wasn't necessary.

We had to walk home for lunch, thus we negotiated this intersection four times a day (and at lunch we were practically RUNNING to and from school because there was only enough time to get home, grab a sandwich, and head back.)

I can't recall precisely when we were allowed to take off for hours on end without supervision but my sense it was around age 10, and my parents didn't know where we were. We had to be home on time for lunch and dinner. We had a long list of places where we weren't supposed to go but that was about it.

So I say hooey to arresting a mother who left her child with a cell phone at the park.

[Humanist_Activist]

48. When I was 9, and I'm not going to call it the "good old days", it was the late 1980s...

I was living in a low crime area, but statistically, we were, both nationally and locally, living in one of the worst periods of crime in the country's history. Violent crime among both adults and kids was much worse than today, as was property crime, etc. This was also before cell phones were used widely and the only way to track your kid is by relying on neighbors.

During the summer, when I didn't feel like playing video games, I was gone all day, my friends and I would take our bikes, and leave our little neighborhood, we mostly went to the stip mall next to the interstate, it had a bike shop, the dollar show, a Standard Drug, and a Burger King. Along with a grocery store which we didn't pay attention to. We also used to go to the park, which was even further away, a couple of miles down the road from our houses, and again, its not like adults were hovering over us.

Actually, come to think of it, we did something similar in winter, the park had an awesome hill, and when it snowed, we would get rides to the park and sled down that hill. About half the time, our parents would drop us off there and pick us back up when the sun started setting.

[pnwmom]

67. There is no law in this state that the African American mother clearly broke.

Were the social workers and police influenced by bias?

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/07/15/debra_harrell_arrested_for_letting_her_9_year_old_daughter_go_to_the_park.html

I asked Dorothy Roberts, a professor of law, sociology and civil rights at the University of Pennsylvania and the author of Shattered Bonds: The Color of Child Welfare, if state laws give any specifics about how parents should behave. As in, if you leave a child of X years alone for Y amount of time, it’s a crime. Roberts responded via email:

The short answer is that every state has its own child maltreatment laws and definitions of neglect— and they are all very vague with no specifics. Most include within neglect failure to provide adequate supervision. South Carolina's child welfare law is actually more specific than most, but still doesn't specify the age—"supervision appropriate to the child's age and development." But how does the judge/jury determine what's appropriate? I don't know of any law that specifies the age or the precise nature of failure to supervise.
Roberts further explained that states determine whether to treat neglect as a crime or as a child welfare matter. She says it is “recent and rare” for the parent to be charged with a crime, and adds that the vagueness of the statutes leave “a lot of room for discretion by social workers, police, judges, and prosecutors, to determine which/whose failures to supervise to pursue. This allows race, class, and gender biases to influence decisions in both the child welfare and criminal justice systems.”

Certainly those biases could be at play here: Harrell is black, and class is definitely behind how her situation came to be in the first place. As Jonathan Chait points out in New York Magazine, when welfare reform was passed in the ’90s, single mothers were pushed into low paying, full-time work that did not provide enough income to afford childcare.

[Nye Bevan]

72. Why in the world are you injecting race into this?

The race of the family is irrelevant. Children of all races get abducted.

[pnwmom]

73. When a law is written vaguely, as this one is, then bias can become involved

when the police, social workers, and prosecutor decide how to interpret it.

You don't know that bias wasn't involved. It's always a possibility when human beings are making subjective decisions, as this one was.

[Warpy]

74. Oh, FFS. In the 50s, our mothers kicked us out the door

and really didn't give a shit where we were as long as we weren't underfoot, getting arrested, and would come back in time for meals.

Mama Bear knee jerking is looking an awful lot like goose stepping these days. "Abandonment," my pasty old ass. Mom was working close by and the kid had a phone.

I'll be glad when helicopter parenting goes out of fashion. There is no way this woman should be given a stern lecture, let alone lose her daughter and face prison, herself. I have to think this is just another extension of the war against women, especially poor women who have to work at fast food joints to feed their kids.

[2banon]

88. AGREE!

Kids were sent out to play.. come home in time for dinner and that was when the street lights came on. "helicopter parenting" is an excellent metaphor.

[Warpy]

89. Back in the day, my mother called it "sMother Love"

I'd have reacted badly to overportective parenting.

[ohheckyeah]

80. Who is this

woman named Tonya Cullum that is quoted in this article? Is she the one that called the police?

http://www.wjbf.com/story/25915218/north-augusta-mother-charged-with-unlawful-conduct-towards-a-child

"Some people may look at it as a babysitter," said Tonya Cullum.

Cullum works at Sara's Childcare and Preschool.

She says they found that during the summer months, their attendance numbers go down.

Cullum said, "the parents can't afford to keep them in there. They have to keep in during school time because we pick them up at school, make sure they got a safe place, but during the summertime, it's like find some family, grandparents or even let them stay home by themselves."

Harrell's daughter is okay, but some say things could have been worse.


Cullum said, "what if a man would have came and just snatched her because you have all kinds of trucks that come up in here so you really don't know."

[Bettie]

82. Tonya Cullum sounds as if she's upset that her enrollment goes down in summer

She's not concerned about the kids, she's worried about her bottom line.

[ohheckyeah]

83. That's what I got out of it and was why

I was wondering how she fits into this stor.

[Warpy]

94. Cullum needs a Valium RIGHT NOW

So she's complaining that the cash flow aint so hot when the playgrounds are open! Maybe Moms are taking advantage of play areas while the weather is good so they can save up for the new shoes the kid is going to need when school starts again, plus the other stuff the kid outgrew over the year, thank goodness for thrift shops and yard sales.

I wish we could sue people for being busybodies.

[ohheckyeah]

96. True that....

can you tell if Cullum is the one that called the police?

[Warpy]

98. No, the article is clear as mud

but, like others, I do suspect she did.

[TygrBright]

81. At nine, I was regularly taking the bus downtown to go to the Youth Center alone.

I hung out with my friends downtown before and after youth center events, during the day, during the summer.

My friends and I got on our bikes and went to parks, softball games, the library, etc.

On our own.

WTF?

bewilderedly,
Bright

[moriah]

84. Most cities have daytime juvenile curfews enforced all year long. Even if it might be safe...

... to let a particular child go alone to the park during the school break, it might not be legal many places for that reason. That being said, I wandered the neighborhood playing quite a bit as a child, including going down to the neighboring park. The difference? I was within shouting distance from my house and there was an adult there if I needed them or wanted to come inside out of the heat. If no adult was home, I had to stay home and not let anyone in.

This little girl was walking a mile and a half to see her mother for lunch. Yes, she had a cell phone. I don't think jail or foster care is the solution in these kind of cases (where the parent is working instead of out partying), but she would have been far safer left at home, and in South Carolina a nine-year-old can be left home alone per their DHS regulations.

The least compelling thing about this case is that the child asked to be left at the park. Just like a lot of people have justified leaving verbal children unattended in hot cars by saying the kids didn't want to go inside with their mothers. That's not justification -- I don't care what temper tantrum a kid throws, it's a parent's job to be the parent... which sometimes means seeming to be the bad guy and making your children do things they don't want to do.

[raptor_rider]

95. At least she didn't

Leave her in a hot locked car!!!

My Lord!!! My husband was cooking dinner for a family of four and lighting fires to keep his house warm at the age of 7!!! His big brother off with friends, and his parents running a shop. This was rural Durango, CO!!!

My parents would leave us to go to the grocery store down the road for 30 minutes, and we didn't kill ourselves!!!