ARKANSAS COUPLE ABANDONS BOY AFTER FACEBOOK QUIZ REVEALS HE’S ‘A YANKEE FROM OHIO’

[LiberalArkie]

http://www.rockcitytimes.com/arkansas-family-abandons-child-facebook-quiz-reveals-yankee/





BENTON, ARK. — Saline County sheriffs have arrested the parents of a 12-year-old boy who was abandoned after he allegedly failed a “How Redneck are You?” quiz on Facebook.

Gus and Jennie McGraff were taken into custody on Monday after their son, Gus Jr., was found wandering along the side of Highway I-30 just outside of Benton. The boy was able to offer detailed descriptions of the rust patterns and Jeff Foxworthy bumper stickers on the family’s pickup truck, allowing authorities to eventually detain the couple after stopping a dozen similar vehicles in the area.

Gus Sr. initially denied that he had intentionally left his son, insisting that the child had simply fallen out of the bed of the truck when Jennie had swerved to run over an opossum. Facing possible charges of child endangerment and animal cruelty for his wife, the 46-year-old Benton native later admitted that he meant to leave Gus Jr. behind.

“That brat is no son of mine,” Gus Sr. said. “I had him answer them there Facebook questions about how redneck he is and it said zero percents. Told us he’s actually a yankee from Ohio. And to think I was gonna get him a Confederate flag tattoo for his next birthday!”

<snip>

[postulater]

1. Almost had me. Ha!

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

2. Arkansas' self-proclaimed 2nd most unreliable news source

writes pretty funny satire. Rec

[LiberalArkie]

8. The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette is classified as the 1st most unreliable news paper

in Arkansas. After all Tucker Carlson left the Democrat because he was too liberal for it :>

[LuvNewcastle]

11. I love it when my local newspaper, the Sun Herald, has people at the store

soliciting subscriptions. I always tell them that their paper isn't fit to wrap fish in -- it would ruin the fish. I know that some people have subscriptions to it so they can get the local news, but there's no way I'll support the editorial staff and other writers for that paper. It can go out of business, for all I care.

You know, now that I think of it, it's kind of funny the way things happened with newspapers. Big conglomerates started buying all the local newspapers and people gradually quit reading them until now, when nearly all of the papers are having trouble staying alive. People started getting their news from the internet, which they found to be of much better quality than their local media. I wonder if a lot of those papers would have stayed alive if they hadn't sold out years ago. I guess we'll never know, but it is something to think about.

[djean111]

3. Good satire!

[BlueJazz]

4. I was outraged for a few words and then it hit me...Nobody is THAT stupid.

[LiberalArkie]

9. Don't bet on it.. Just look at the people running for office this year.

[BlueJazz]

10. Well...you certainly have a point there...

[OKNancy]

5. LOL

Love this site logo " Arkansas' second most unreliable news source"

[CBGLuthier]

6. Well speaking as a yankee from Ohio

I found that satire damned funny.

[LiberalElite]

7. Just like nobody actually speaks "Brooklynese" - I'll bet

No red neck actually says "them there". That was the tip off for me.

[LuvNewcastle]

12. Actually, some of them say, "them-air."

It's sort of a contraction for "them there." Someone might say to a clerk in a grocery store, "Would you bag me up some of them-air apples?" You don't hear it so much nowadays, with national media making regional accents less distinct, but I still hear it now and then from the people who live way back in the sticks.

[WatermelonRat]

13. It had me until "swerved to run over a possum"

[Mnemosyne]

16. Disgustingly, there are folks around my area that would do just that. nt

[Louisiana1976]

14. ....

[etherealtruth]

15. The Rock CityTimes

Arkansas second most unreliable news source

Love it