Congress Blocks Obama’s Attempt to Order New Office Supplies

[iandhr]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — The war between Congress and the White House took a turn for the worse on Friday as House Republicans sought to prevent President Obama from ordering new office supplies.

The House panel that mandated the office-supply freeze denied that it was politically motivated, citing “budgetary concerns.” “It’s time President Obama learned a tough lesson,” House Speaker John Boehner told reporters. “Being President does not entitle you to a spending spree at Staples.”


At the White House, the President blasted the Republicans’ move to strip him of legal pads, pencils, and other office essentials, calling it “just their latest attempt to keep me from doing my job.”

In an Oval Office appearance, a visibly irritated President Obama showed reporters a nearly empty supply cabinet and said, “They have manufactured this crisis,” noting that he will be out of paper clips and Post-its by August.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/congress-blocks-obamas-attempt-order-new-office-supplies

[WhiteTara]

1. THis is so f*ing petty. I'm sick of repukes. GOTV!

Register someone to vote today! Call on behalf of your candidate, we are down to less than 100 days.

[pinboy3niner]

3. Be Sharpie and don't believe everything you read is true

Especially when it sounds indelible...um, I mean incredible.

[HubertHeaver]

4. no, no, the word is inedible

"Especially when it sounds inedible"

or one of those "in__" words.

[Bucky]

13. You got to admit that this is very very subtle satire.

Republicans frequently slip across the line from extremists to self parody. I could actually see them doing this.

[awoke_in_2003]

18. As I said below...

I could almost see it happening with this congress

[freedom fighter jh]

22. I believed it for the first two paragraphs.

Somehow I glossed over "Borowitz."

[Curmudgeoness]

2. Borowitz? The New Yorker?

As much as I would love to believe that the House would stoop this low.....

[CatWoman]

5. I thought it was real, too

[pinboy3niner]

6. In that case...

[Curmudgeoness]

28. It is almost possible.

Hell, anything is possible with this bunch of idiots running the funny farm.

[tanyev]

7. Ha! Just send Biden to go raid their offices when the House is in session.

[awoke_in_2003]

19. That would be a big f'ing deal

[treestar]

8. LOL

Meanwhile ordering up large cartons of legal pads for themselves, which they never use.

[pinboy3niner]

12. They're just trying to keep Obama mired in protractored investigations

[muriel_volestrangler]

24. That should get you scheduled for an ass-kicking

Skittles? Skittles?

[pinboy3niner]

25. Skittles? Aisle 5, Coffee, Water & Snacks.

[treestar]

27. Indeed!

[rickyhall]

9. The only tyrant I see is John Boehner, the orange ass

[juxtaposed]

10. lets send them supplies and what they do not need put to charity

good idea? YES!

[juxtaposed]

14. now i feel silly,, below the fold

[Bucky]

11. Please identify Borowitz pieces in the title. Satire is getting hard to recognize lately.

Some people upthread are taking this seriously. Let's leave the rumor mongering to the Right, okay?

[handmade34]

15. "Satire is getting hard to recognize"

and it's not even funny….

[El Shaman]

16. Boehner

gets his supplies from his 'lobbyist' pals:

Boehner Invested Between $15,001-$50,000 In Chevron In 2009. [Boehner 2009 Financial Disclosure, 5/14/10, via OpenSecrets.org]

Credit:http://politicalcorrection.org/factcheck/201201180004

[awoke_in_2003]

17. How sad is it...

that I could almost believe this happening? K&R

[valerief]

20. I love Borowitz!!!!

[pinboy3niner]

21. ...

[eggplant]

23. It seems everyone missed the Staples reference, too.

http://blogs.wsj.com/corporate-intelligence/2014/07/14/a-rare-win-for-the-unions-staples-abandons-postal-service-trial/

[MADem]

26. It's funny because it sounds so true.... nt