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Thu Jul 31, 2014, 03:51 PM

The 7 Pís of Menís Violence

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Patriarchal Power: The First ďPĒ

Individual acts of violence by men occurs within what I have described as ďthe triad of menís violence.Ē Menís violence against women does not occur in isolation but is linked to menís violence against other men and to the internalization of violence, that is, a manís violence against himself.(2)

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The Sense of Entitlement to Privilege: The Second ďPĒ

The individual experience of a man who commits violence may not revolve around his desire to maintain power. His conscious experience is not the key here. Rather, as feminist analysis has repeatedly pointed out, such violence is often the logical outcome of his sense of entitlement to certain privileges. If a man beats his wife for not having dinner on the table right on time, it is not only to make sure that it doesnít happen again, but is an indication of his sense of entitlement to be waited on. Or, say a man sexually assaults a woman on a date, it is about his sense of entitlement to his physical pleasure even if that pleasure is entirely one sided. In other words, as many women have pointed out, it is not only inequalities of power that lead to violence, but a conscious or often unconscious sense of entitlement to privilege.


The Third ďPĒ: Permission

Whatever the complex social and psychological causes of menís violence, it wouldnít continue if there werenít explicit or tacit permission in social customs, legal codes, law enforcement, and certain religious teachings. In many countries, laws against wife assault or sexual assault are lax or non-existent; in many others laws are barely enforced; in still others they are absurd, such as those countries where a charge of rape can only be prosecuted if there are several male witnesses and where the testimony of the woman isnít taken into account.

Meanwhile, acts of menís violence and violent aggression (in this case, usually against other men) are celebrated in sport and cinema, in literature and warfare. Not only is violence permitted, it is glamorized and rewarded. The very historic roots of patriarchal societies is the use of violence as a a key means of solving disputes and differences, whether among individuals, groups of men, or, later, between nations.

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http://www.michaelkaufman.com/1999/the-7-ps-of-mens-violence/




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Arrow 18 replies Author Time Post
Reply The 7 Pís of Menís Violence (Original post)
redqueen Jul 2014 OP
thucythucy Jul 2014 #1
redqueen Jul 2014 #5
thucythucy Jul 2014 #7
hollysmom Jul 2014 #2
Nye Bevan Jul 2014 #8
hollysmom Jul 2014 #14
Squinch Jul 2014 #3
JoeyT Jul 2014 #9
Squinch Jul 2014 #16
CTyankee Jul 2014 #4
fleabiscuit Jul 2014 #6
hopemountain Jul 2014 #10
BlancheSplanchnik Jul 2014 #11
BainsBane Jul 2014 #12
Bonobo Jul 2014 #15
Lunacee_2013 Jul 2014 #13
redqueen Aug 2014 #18
William769 Jul 2014 #17

Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 04:07 PM

1. Very interesting article.

I hadn't heard of this guy before. It looks like he does good work.

Thanks again for a great OP.

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Response to thucythucy (Reply #1)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 05:40 PM

5. I just can't help thinking of how long this has been pointed out

I mean this article came out 15 years ago, and feminists have been pointing these things out for decades, but we haven't come very far at all when it comes to ending this destructive conditioning.

I read all these discussions, about wars and rape culture and other related problems... and it's just very, very depressing to consider that it really isn't so hard to change.

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Response to redqueen (Reply #5)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 06:32 PM

7. Yeah, this is all pretty obvious

when one thinks about it, and yet...

One thing that perpetuates this masculine state of mind is that it is, in fact, positively reinforced. That is, in far too many cases, it works--in the sense of providing some sort of affirmation--not to mention material and sexual benefits--for perpetrators.

I don't know what the answer is, other than to keep shouting from the rooftops as best we can.

If it helps at all (and it probably doesn't), fifteen years, even fifty years, isn't such a long time in terms of winning social justice. Slavery lasted thousands of years (perhaps longer--but we know it went back at least to the beginning of recorded history) and only became seen as a rank injustice less than two centuries ago. In the US, where economic interests were so deeply tied in, it actually took a very bloody civil war to end it, and even then the underlying racism that was both underlying cause and overwhelming effect is still with us. Misogyny is every bit as entrenched, socially, economically, theologically, as slavery, and then some.

Pretty depressing. Then again, we do seem to be making some progress, I would hope. In the end, hope is pretty much all we have to console us, that and the fact that we ourselves are trying, in our own ways, to make things better. What would be worse than the current state of affairs would be--the current state of affairs, without our voices objecting.

Best wishes.

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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 04:19 PM

2. Left out roid rage

With athletes, including weekend athletes, it can be not a learned experience but a drug influence. I had a friend who was happy in marriage until her husband took up weight lifting competitively and told her he was taking the "good" steroids. He beat up their son one day and the state took the kid away from them after the teacher sent him to the nurse for his bruises, the mother had to move to another state and divorce the father to get her son back.

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Response to hollysmom (Reply #2)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 06:33 PM

8. And that one can easily be made into a "P": "Performance-enhancing drug related violence". (nt)

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Response to Nye Bevan (Reply #8)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 10:13 PM

14. Thank you for doing that.

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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 04:55 PM

3. Cue poster having a meltdown because "some" isn't used as a modifier in 3..2..1..

That is a pretty fascinating article. It does seem to cover the causes succinctly.

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Response to Squinch (Reply #3)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 06:33 PM

9. Yep.

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Response to JoeyT (Reply #9)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 10:32 PM

16. I do love that gif. It's so perfect.

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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 05:00 PM

4. Excellent article.

A very well stated and forceful case being made.

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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 06:14 PM

6. K & R, n/t

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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 06:49 PM

10. k&r ..thank you for the links nt

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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 06:52 PM

11. ....

Meanwhile, acts of menís violence and violent aggression (in this case, usually against other men) are celebrated in sport and cinema, in literature and warfare. Not only is violence permitted, it is glamorized and rewarded. The very historic roots of patriarchal societies is the use of violence as a a key means of solving disputes and differences, whether among individuals, groups of men, or, later, between nations.


Men's violence is celebrated.

Why that's not obvious to all, and its ramifications, is a puzzlement.

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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 06:57 PM

12. How many times have we been told humans are just great apes?

Now we see an interesting take on that argument.

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Response to BainsBane (Reply #12)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 10:14 PM

15. How many times have you implied they are not? nt

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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 07:14 PM

13. Revealing article (still going through everything), but another thing I've noticed about those who

abuse others is they like to isolate their victims. No friends, no family, no cell, sometimes not even going outside sometimes.

I have a friend who, while we were in high school, was in an abusive relationship at ages 14-15, and yes, it can happen that early. He didn't like it when she walked to the local gas station with me, hell, he didn't like it when she went anywhere without him. One day we were walking down the street to the store, like we had done for 2-3 years by this point, and she suddenly remembered that he was staying with some of his friends who just happened to live about a block away from where we were. She completely panicked and would not walk past their house. When I asked why she said it was because she didn't have his permission to walk 5 blocks to a mini-mart. That was just the tip of the iceberg.

At the end of the summer I just had to confront her and ask her "does he hurt you?". The only thing she could do was shake her head "yes" and cry. I told her she could always tell me anything and I would try to help. After that I almost never left them alone, even when she wanted some "alone time" herself. Thankfully she moved about 2 hours away and stopped talking to him, but we still see each other (in fact I'm even her childrens' godmother).

So isolation is a big one. The abuser wants to cut off all ties to the outside world the victim has so they end up relaying solely on the abuser. It's a big red flag to me. If they get pissy when you talk to your own mother, don't date them!

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Response to Lunacee_2013 (Reply #13)

Fri Aug 1, 2014, 12:57 PM

18. Yes that is a huge red flag.

It's scary how easily these types can spot girls and women who are susceptible to such manipulation.

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Response to redqueen (Original post)

Thu Jul 31, 2014, 10:33 PM

17. Kick & recommended.

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