Adrian Peterson and Parenting

[dballance]

Okay, I grew up in the South and one of the most horrible phrases we ever heard as a kid was "Go pick out your switch." It always followed us doing something we'd been clearly instructed not to do.

Yep, I got spanked with a switch and with a belt.

If I threw a tantrum and refused to obey my parents my dad would have probably taken his belt to my behind. His "whooping" of me and my siblings was more symbolic than physically punitive. Yep, we'd get a few licks across our behinds.

Never, NEVER anything that was even remotely severe enough to leave a mark. Much less leave wounds a doctor would see days later and feel compelled to report to Child Protective Services.

With respect to the Adrian Peterson stories I find this particular text from him to his baby-momma particularly disturbing.

"But I felt so bad, n I’m all tearing that butt up when needed! I start putting them in timeout. N save the whooping for needed memories!”

The thought "tearing that butt up when needed" really disturbs me. When, exactly, does a 4-year-old's butt need "tearing up?" For that matter, when does a child of any age need their butt torn up? And if you "felt so bad" then why didn't you stop?

Exactly what kind of "needed memories" is Peterson hoping to instill in his children? Fear that they will be physically abused? That seems so.

Sure, the child in question misbehaved. He apparently pushed another kid off a video game. Wow, not shocking that a 4-year-old would do such a thing. Yes, the child needed to be corrected about his bad behavior.

However, I think a simple swat on the behind and actually talking to the child and saying things like "No" and "No, don't do that" would have been more than sufficient.

"Whooping" a kid with a tree branch is completely over the line.

[angel123]

1. whooping with a "tree branch?"

the instrument used to "whoop" the child has gone from being a "stick" to a " switch" to a "tree branch". what the hell kind of piece of wood did he use. I am sick to death reading all of the different descriptions of the "the weapon" Peterson used. do you even know what tearing that butt up means. it could be as simple as a whack on his legs.

[cwydro]

2. Have you seen the pictures?

Poor child was beaten. Even on his genitals.

Wow.

[cali]

4. he beat the crap out of the kid. It was a tree branch. He went out, snapped a branch off a tree

stripped it of leaves and whipped the kid, leaving bleeding wounds from lower back to ankles including the kid's scrotum.

tearing up his butt meant tearing up his butt. fucking period.

[pnwmom]

7. You should educate yourself before you start opining. The photos show numerous long streaks

of dried blood across his legs, and he was also hit on the bottom and on his scrotum, and he says he was punched in the face.

I am sick to death of people excusing child abuse. I would think DUers would know better.

[dballance]

30. "What the hell kind of wood did he use" is irrelevant

Your take on the matter focusing on the instrument with which Peterson inflicted injuries on a child is really dumb. Would you ask the same question of a murderer? Did the murderer use a knife, a rope, or a gun to kill their victim? Was one of those methods more appropriate than the others?

Was it more appropriate for Peterson to use a "switch" in beating his child rather than beating his child with some other weapon?

The question is, is it ever appropriate for an adult to reek violence on a child? To physically hit a child of 4 years multiple times and leave wounds that compel a doctor to report it to CPS. To send a text to the child's mother about how the child's butt needed "tearing up."

That is just wrong.

[Pisces]

3. Memories of fear to keep their black child alive. Fear not to misbehave toward authority. And the

phrase "tear that butt up" is a slang for spanking. Isn't it obvious by the Ferguson drama and all of the black men killed recently
that black parents may feel the need to make sure their children walk the straight and narrow. Peterson needs parenting
classes and maybe therapy, but I do not think he needs to be put in jail and taken away from his family.

So many on this board can not understand "the other" in this scenario. People raised differently, a race component, a socio
economic difference.

What happens to the family when the male figure is removed from their life. So many on this board want him jailed, persecuted, removed from his livelihood. Education is the answer.

I would ask that those on this board understand the position black fathers or black parents find themselves in when raising black
boys that can be killed on the spot when they don't show the proper respect to a police officer. Beating them into submission is better than a dead son. It is not the right way, but some may find they don't know another way than through fear.

He that is without sin cast the first stone. I am not religious, and I have been maligned as supporting child abuse, as advocating for it, but what I am advocating for is some real world understanding that not everyone comes from the same background or has the same educational levels. Education is the answer in this scenario.

[cali]

5. ugh. disgusting post. this. was. a. four. year. old.

there are photos taken a week later that show wounds from ankles to lower back. Patterson should NOT be alone with his children for a good long time and if found guilty, he damned well should go to jail. what he did to that kid was sick shit. and this wasn't the first time.

your excuses for this are just sad. His background, his being black, may give us some insight as how he came to be a child abuser but they are NOT exculpatory/

[AverageJoe90]

6. I second this 100%.

Not to mention that there at least SOME black parents out there who don't do that kind of thing.

[Laffy Kat]

10. I third it.

Why so many, "I oppose what he did, BUT"s on DU? These are children. Christ.

[Pisces]

12. Education is the answer, not jail. 2 wrongs don't make a right. This family will not be better off

without their father. This family will suffer financial stress without their father. The mother did the right thing and took this child to the doctor. No one was trying to hide what happened.
Peterson needs therapy, parenting classes and supervised visits.

[cali]

13. family? this guy has 7 children with 7 different children. None of the children live with him

there will be no financial stress. He's worth tens of millions. That Peterson doesn't think that what he did was wrong is chilling. His tweets about abusing his kids have a gleeful element that is really creepy. And the child says that his father threatened to punch him if he told. Furthermore, the child says that Peterson stuffed leaves in his mouth before he beat him. the details of this case are pretty damning.

[Pisces]

17. I think many in the African American community may be defending Peterson or looking for some

understanding because it is an indictment against their own mothers and fathers that gave them the switch. I don't know Peterson's family history. He seemed to be in some contact with this boy. I am not setting myself up to defend this guys
behavior. He is sick and needs help. Does that help include prison?

The NFL and how they are handling this and other issues is another matter. We have little to no understanding how
Peterson came to think that his form of discipline was ok. We don't care, we want to solve the problem with jail.

Are we the left? We now advocate for incarceration because we know how much rehabilitation prison can offer.

We need to educate people.

[cali]

20. As I said, I don't know that jail is the answer

And no, it doesn't really matter how he came to think that beating- not a form of discipline, but a form of torture- is OK.

you keep minimizing what he did. And since when does the left call beating a child a form of discipline?

[dballance]

31. Family? Father? Are you kidding?

Last edited Wed Sep 17, 2014, 09:09 AM - Edit history (1)

This guy allegedly has several kids with at least four different mothers.

He's not at all a "family man." He is not in a "family" situation with his kids. He's another loose cannon trading on his fame in the NFL. He was, apparently, happy to hook up with any woman that would have sex with him. So now he has multiple children from multiple mothers.

The fact he could not realize having sex with multiple women who may have wanted to entrap him with their "love children" speaks to the fact he is naive.

So now, he has several children from several mothers. Deal with it. He was irresponsible. He was an adult and made bad choices. That is that.

All over the US we hold people to very high standards. We make people who had no idea at all that their casual relationship that produced a child pay child support. We make them pay child support for a child they had no say in whether or not it should be theirs.

So FUCK YOU Adrian Peterson.

[Pisces]

9. I do not excuse or condone what was done to that poor boy. Throwing Peterson in jail is not going

to help this situation. He needs parenting classes and therapy. Supervised visits, absolutely, but making this family another
statistic with a father in prison is not the answer. There is an educational, socio-economic, and racial component that needs to be addressed. I feel you are boxing me in to defending this guy, when I would like people to consider that there may be a better
solution than jail.

[cali]

11. I don't know that jail is the answer

but a socio-economic component? the guy is a multi-millionaire and set for life. Racial component? In what way? Violent crime is not victimless crime.

He is, by definition, a lousy parent. His tweets are quite chilling. He demonstrates no remorse for what he did. You did defend him and justify his behavior. I didn't "box you in".

[Pisces]

15. Peterson grew up poor, in Palestine Tx. He is not from loads of money. There is a socio economic

component where he is concerned. His own father went to jail for drug dealings. Again, nothing excuses the abuse, but maybe
some background on how this person thought what he was doing was ok. This is how he was disciplined. He needs
parenting classes, anger management classes, therapy, supervised visits. Putting him in prison just makes his kids another
statistic with their father gone.

I outlined that African American parents feel they need to be stricter with their children, especially boys, in order to keep them
alive in this racist world. Am I being racist for pointing this out? There are no less than 5 examples recently where young
black men have been shot or tasered by police.

I feel like there is a lynch mob mentality toward Peterson and no one is caring about what this family really needs. We want to
see justice done, but what is justice for the mob, may not be justice for his sons or family. I am glad that you are here to
be judge and jury for this terrible family tragedy.

[cwydro]

16. He doesn't have a "family".

Re read Cali's post to you. He makes babies, but he is no kind of father with no kind of family.

Ugh.

[cali]

23. His father went to jail for money laundering.

And no, there is not socio-economic factor for him. He's wealthy. Yes, he needs parenting classes and supervision for quite some time. and he's already a part time father. None of his kids live with him.

You're making generalizations about AA parents. I don't think that kind of generalization is helpful. Young black men being shot has nothing to do with beating the crap out of toddler.

It's not a lynch mob mentality. You, despite your demurrals, are justifying and defending his beating a little child.

I feel that's inexcusable.

disgusting. terrible family tragedy caused by a child abuser.

[Pisces]

28. I don't think the situation is black and white. Peterson grew up poor, so there is a socio economic

component. Maybe this discussion is too nuanced and I am not making myself clear enough. There is something about people
like Charles Barkley and Chris Carter coming out to say that switching was a norm in their upbringing. They feel like saying Peterson should go to jail is an indictment against their parents. Being from the south, being African American, and growing up poor has a lot to do with the state of Peterson's mind. They still allow paddling in school in Texas!!

This guy isn't the brightest person out there, and he obviously has anger and control issues. But I pose the question again,
do we think that the answer is to put him in jail or should we be demanding mandatory therapy, anger management
classes? Do you know the statistics on kids that grow up without a male figure in their life???

Sometimes when we try and help we make things worse. The pictures are horrific, the child was abused. Peterson was also
abused and did not get the proper modeling. How can we break the chain???

We need to find a better answer than incarceration which we know does not work.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

32. I can tell you about Palestine, and East Texas in general.

Rural, poor East Texas. Quite racist, has a higher percentage of African-Americans than the country as a whole. Lots of Confederate flags on pickups. Very few white Democrats.

A dead downtown, courtesy of Wal-Mart. No choices in shopping but Kroger and Wal-Mart and Lowe's. Palestine is the county seat of Anderson County and has about 20,000 people.

[dballance]

35. "Male Figure in Their Life?" Seriously?

Thanks for disparaging all the single mothers in this nation that raise kids just fine without a constant male figure in the life of their kids. Nice of you to take us on a trip back to the '50s and the Cleavers. A fantasy family that really never existed in reality.

I grew up poor, in a trailer, in TN. I know better than to "whoop" a kid with a tree branch so hard it leaves wounds a doctor has to report to CPS. The amount of money my family had at our disposal had nothing to do with right or wrong. Abusing a child is just as wrong at $1 as it is at $1,000. Watch "Mommy Dearest" if you think that more money makes it easier on children and they are less likely to be abused.

So Peterson got "whooped" as a child the way that he "whooped" his 4-year-old. It obviously didn't teach him much since he continues the chain of abuse. Taking him out of the picture will break the chain of abuse since he won't be there to abuse kids any longer.

I agree that incarceration in this country is not helpful and does nothing to rehabilitate a person. So, at the very least, he should be prevented from interacting with children. Sure, put him on probation and make him do community service and mandatory therapy. That would probably be a lot more productive than putting him in prison. It might also allow him to continue to earn a living from which he can pay child support.

[dballance]

34. Peterson is NOT a Family man. He is NOT a "father" to his kids. He's a sperm donor.

You need to look into the facts. Peterson has several kids with at least four different mothers. He is not a "father" to the kid he beat in the sense that he's there every day for the kid. In the sense that a "father" puts the kid to bed at night, reads the kid bedtime stories, sets a good example etc.

He is a father to several kids in the sense that he was a sperm donor.

Putting him in jail is the exact thing that should happen for his crimes. That way he won't be able to beat children any longer. His estate can continue to pay child support for his kids while he's in jail.

On Edit:

I recant my supposition that "jail is the exact thing that should happen." I have to agree with Pisces that incarceration is not the answer to the problem. Usually not the answer to any problem. I believe that Peterson should be put on parole and should be monitored as to his behavior. I believe he should get counseling about how to be a parent and discipline children without using physical violence. Locking him away will not really better society. He should be allowed to work and allowed to pay support for his multiple children. It is not justice if the kids are worse off because we put Peterson away in a jail cell. Justice would be him learning to be a non-abusive parent and a parent that supports his children.

Yep, I totally flip-flopped.

[FSogol]

8. Sorry, no matter how archaic your views on corporal punishment and discipline of children are, what

Peterson did was child abuse.

[Pisces]

18. These are not my views. I do think we need to educate, prison does not reform and it will not help

these children. Therapy, parenting classes, anger management classes, and supervised visits are more beneficial to all. Since when does the left advocate for prisons?????

[FSogol]

19. Where did I advocate prison?

[cwydro]

14. Wow. nt

[Brickbat]

25. "I would ask that those on this board understand the position black fathers or black parents find

themselves in when raising black boys that can be killed on the spot when they don't show the proper respect to a police officer."

I've never thought oppressed populations embraced victimhood until I saw this argument.

[Coventina]

21. How on earth can a person be hit with a switch or a belt and not have it leave marks?

My parents "spanked" me with a switch and I always had marks for days.

[Rex]

22. I learned something new today, some DUers think their children are their property.

Sad.

[FSogol]

24. Very sad.

[cali]

26. what really is distressing is seeing people call what Peterson did "discipline"

[Rex]

27. Yeah that has me a little freaked out.

Imagine being autistic and being punished for it for your young adult life? No counseling or even thoughts of outside help, just the belt. Dad's belt fixed all problems.

[Nye Bevan]

29. I hope he serves prison time for what he did to that poor toddler.

And I'm starting to get disgusted with those claiming that his race is somehow a mitigating factor.

[kcr]

33. The needed memories are the ones he got from his own childhood

I read an article earlier about his own upbringing that is heartbreaking and shows how this is cyclical.

If you never had a mark even though branches and belts were used on you, you were a very rare case. I can't help but wonder if your memories are softened with time. I don't think all cases are as severe as what Peterson did, but belts and switches leave marks.