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Thu Oct 16, 2014, 10:08 AM

Some Fear Ebola Outbreak Could Make Nation Turn to Science - Andy Borowitz (cowering)




NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—There is a deep-seated fear among some Americans that an Ebola outbreak could make the country turn to science.

In interviews conducted across the nation, leading anti-science activists expressed their concern that the American people, wracked with anxiety over the possible spread of the virus, might desperately look to science to save the day.

“It’s a very human reaction,” said Harland Dorrinson, a prominent anti-science activist from Springfield, Missouri. “If you put them under enough stress, perfectly rational people will panic and start believing in science.”

Additionally, he worries about a “slippery slope” situation, “in which a belief in science leads to a belief in math, which in turn fosters a dangerous dependence on facts.”

At the end of the day, though, Dorrinson hopes that such a doomsday scenario will not come to pass. “Time and time again through history, Americans have been exposed to science and refused to accept it,” he said. “I pray that this time will be no different.”



www.borowitzreport.com




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Arrow 21 replies Author Time Post
Reply Some Fear Ebola Outbreak Could Make Nation Turn to Science - Andy Borowitz (cowering) (Original post)
Mira Oct 2014 OP
randome Oct 2014 #1
longship Oct 2014 #4
FSogol Oct 2014 #2
Baitball Blogger Oct 2014 #3
FourScore Oct 2014 #5
KittyWampus Oct 2014 #6
SoapBox Oct 2014 #10
treestar Oct 2014 #7
LiberalArkie Oct 2014 #16
NCjack Oct 2014 #18
treestar Oct 2014 #19
littlemissmartypants Oct 2014 #8
world wide wally Oct 2014 #9
Spitfire of ATJ Oct 2014 #15
kestrel91316 Oct 2014 #11
Demeter Oct 2014 #12
dhill926 Oct 2014 #13
treestar Oct 2014 #20
Spitfire of ATJ Oct 2014 #14
valerief Oct 2014 #17
ThoughtCriminal Oct 2014 #21

Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 10:11 AM

1. Where are the coal-rollers on this one?

 

[hr][font color="blue"][center]"If you're bored then you're boring." -Harvey Danger[/center][/font][hr]

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Response to randome (Reply #1)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 10:30 AM

4. I was driving behind one of those assholes the other day.

And that was in a small town rural west Michigan.

An idiot belching black.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 10:12 AM

2. "which in turn fosters a dangerous dependence on facts.”

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 10:15 AM

3. Wonderful!

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 10:59 AM

5. “I pray that this time will be no different.”

HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 11:01 AM

6. It's sadly funny, because it's true.

 

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Response to KittyWampus (Reply #6)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 11:44 AM

10. Super ditto.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 11:03 AM

7. This is funny

How long before one of them talks in terms of gods judgement and praying as the way to cure the disease?

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Response to treestar (Reply #7)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 12:33 PM

16. It is Gods judgement on Texas for denying birth control and not expanding medicaid

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Response to LiberalArkie (Reply #16)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 01:15 PM

18. Televangelist John Hagee, who claims the protection of Jehovah, who step forward

and work some shifts for the beleagared Texas nurses caring for the ebola patients.

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Response to LiberalArkie (Reply #16)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 01:59 PM

19. I like it!

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 11:08 AM

8. ...

Sometimes it is necessary to go a long distance out of your way, to come back a short distance, correctly.

~ Lmsp 🙌

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 11:26 AM

9. It sounds like science is just a gateway topic and not harmless at all

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Response to world wide wally (Reply #9)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 12:25 PM

15. No kidding, it could lead to (gasp) fact based reasoning.

 

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 12:11 PM

11. Ain't THIS the truth?

 

“Time and time again through history, Americans have been exposed to science and refused to accept it,” he said.

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 12:16 PM

12. Borowitz earns a DUZY

 

That was right on!

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 12:19 PM

13. a wonderful time to be a satirist….

in America….

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Response to dhill926 (Reply #13)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 02:00 PM

20. only too true

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 12:23 PM

14. Belief in math would destroy the entire Republican economic model.

 

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 01:07 PM

17. I love you, Andy!!!

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Response to Mira (Original post)

Thu Oct 16, 2014, 03:52 PM

21. And if we don't do something soon

People will have to stop pretending that they washed their hands.

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