"I wish every girl knew her worth is infinite..." (toon)

[pokerfan]

Great toon from Kate or Die!

[shenmue]

1. Amen

[Gothmog]

2. As the father of two daughters, I love this

[kimbutgar]

3. I wish I heard this when I was young

I went to an all girls school. Having a boyfriend validated you. It wasn't until I got to college that I realized I wasn't willing to settle. As I grew older I realized that having a man in your life wasn't the be end all and then I relaxed and met a bunch of guys. I wasn't the the average pretty girl but one with exotic looks. I had no problem staying home on Friday or Saturday nights. I met my husband when I was enjoying a happy single life. Because I concentrated on myself not realizing it made me attractive and not needy. My friends who were really pretty stayed single while I married and became a mother.

Be comfortable, love yourself and enjoy life and love will find you when you least expect it.

[Half-Century Man]

4. Congratulations on surviving the gauntlet of growing up female in America.

I have one daughter nearly overwhelmed by the "un-natural" programing by the popular culture. She is now doing better, but has a severe male dependency issue. Unfortunately, her ability to pick men who are dependable is terrible.
My second daughter is in danger of falling prey to male dependency (she is committed to her High School Sweetheart, a young man currently serving in the USMC. Perhaps the corps will mature him, but I suspect not).
I told both of the for years to define themselves, not be forced into any sort of mold. Not by a man, society, or even me.

On the other hand, my grand daughter is doing better by far. Other than being a seventeen year old pain in the ass.....But, ya gotta admire strength.

[kimbutgar]

6. I kissed more than enough toads.

But I hear you. Sometimes women have to be ass kicked to come to their senses. I didn't come to my conclusion until I was Thirty and ended a bad marriage. Every time I saw my mother while I was married she would say to me " don't get Pregnant" her words annoyed me but I never got pregnant by the first husband. Married later now for 25 years and I'd marry him again because I got choosy.

There is a movie that changed me called, Once were Warriors. It takes place in New Zealand about an abused wife. It might be a great movie to have a girls night with your daughters, watch movie and drink some wine followed by a discussion. It might open their eyes. There was a sequel but never released in the US but it can be found online.

[Half-Century Man]

9. Girl's night out with wine could be awkward.

1 drinks too much
1 thinks wine tastes bad
1 is underage and thinks wine tastes bad
1 has a y chromosome.


Will track down the movie though

[kimbutgar]

11. Rootbeer floats might be the best drink

[Johnyawl]

12. Another very good movie from New Zealand on the same subject...

..."Whale Rider".

[tblue37]

5. Maybe those single women decided to stay single. Maybe they didn't find

anyone that suited them and decided that being single was not failure or doom.


Marrying and becoming a mother is fine, but there is nothing wrong with *not* marrying or becoming a mother, either.

I decided after my divorce that I never wanted to be married again. Yes, I had offers, but I have been happily single since 1983. Yet some people have actually told me they were sorry that I never "managed" to get married again.

Heh.

On Edit: I also had two children, so I guess I checked off all the required boxes for female success.

[jimlup]

7. Here Here!

As a male mentor of teenage girls (I'm a high school teacher) I say you go GIRL!

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

8. Bravo...

[NewJeffCT]

10. great cartoon

I've already forwarded it to my daughter.

Thanks for sharing

[oberliner]

13. What is wrong with being good?

I get the other admonitions, but that seems like a pretty worthy goal for any young person.

[pokerfan]

15. I interpreted it

as society's expectations of what constitutes a "good girl" along with all the baggage that label brings.

[oberliner]

16. I think there is more pressure on girls to be bad - especially in early high school

Girls who are good are often mocked and ostracized for not engaging in the more risky behaviors of many of their peers.

I think it is important that girls (and boys) not feel that they have to do these "bad things" in order to be accepted and thought well of by others in their age range.

[pokerfan]

20. That's a fair point

but that fits in the overall theme of the toon: "more to life than being attractive on other people's terms."

[oberliner]

21. Yeah - I agree with the sentiments of the cartoon overall

I just didn't like the notion of "being good" being presented as something negative.

[liberal_at_heart]

23. They have pressure put on them by their peers to be bad. They have pressure put on them by

the adults in their life to be good. And with everyone else telling them what they are supposed to be it can be difficult for a young woman to figure out who she is.

[Pacifist Patriot]

28. I too took this as "good" means "obedient."

and submissive, and unquestioning of authority, and silent.... That's certainly the message I got growing up of what a "good girl" is. Fortunately I had parents who were cool with me chafing under that definition of good.

[bhikkhu]

18. "Be good" too often means "be obedient"

be submissive, be what others expect you to be, conform to the norm, don't stand out, don't speak out, don't act out, don't think differently...too often "be good" means "be" nothing at all.

[oberliner]

19. That is unfortunate

I wish it had not acquired that connotation.

I think there is a lot of pressure on kids (especially teens) not to be good. That pressure, of course, coming primarily from their peers. Peers who are telling them to get drink/party/hookup/get high/lie to parents/skip school/don't study stuff like that. And there becomes this enormous pressure to fit in and not seem like a goody two-shoes - when in fact, there ought to be something admirable in the values of working hard, telling the truth, and so on.

[liberal_at_heart]

24. I think the reason it can be hard for any young person who is hearing the message be good

from the adults in their life is because it is natural, especially during the growing up years, to make mistakes. Parents forget that they made mistakes when they were young, and they expect too much from their children. Learning to tell the truth was difficult for my autistic son. He is a sweet boy, but his autism causes sensory problems for him. He can become overwhelmed by sights, sounds, and by his emotions. Regulating his emotions and his reactions to his emotions took time. He sometimes gets very anxious and afraid when he has done something wrong and knows he should could come tell us about it. He also gets physically uncomfortable. He gets flush and his skin starts to itch. He has learned over the years to try and overcome these emotions and physical feelings and come tell us the truth despite his fear, but for a long time his natural response was to hide the truth or sometimes even to lie so that he could avoid getting in trouble. Our children are learning to navigate a very big, scary, overwhelming world and we should be patient with them when they fall and make mistakes.

[tblue]

26. "Be nice" is what I was told.

Which to me meant, "Let everyone else have their way and don't complain." That's no way to live a life. But the alternative was, "Be shunned for being a disagreeable bitch." In my family, there was nothing in between.

[liberal_at_heart]

27. my husband's side of the family can be petty, vindictive, and unforgiving. My daughter has

inherited some of these traits. I have tried to teach her compassion, but have come to the realization that she just is who she is. We all have positive personality traits and negative personality traits. One of the tenants of compassion is to love people unconditionally, strengths, faults, and all. And I do love her. She is incredible. She is a a strong, opinionated, creative, funny, and intelligent young woman. And I do hope she realizes how incredible she is. I can't wait to see the wonderful things she does with her life.

[whopis01]

29. In context of the whole toon and that block in particular

I believe it is referring to being good in other people's judgement. Along with the "be pretty", "be thin", "be white", etc.

I don't believe that it is saying that any of those things are wrong to be - but you shouldn't want to be them just because someone else expects you to be them.

That along with the repeated "be good" in that block makes me believe that "being good" in this context is just referring to trying to be what everyone else thinks is good. It is more of a call to break the rules that others impose upon you.

All in the same theme as Ulrich's observation that "Well-behaved women seldom make history"

[oberliner]

30. That makes sense

There was just something about including "be good" in that group that rubbed me the wrong way.

Like there isn't really anything you can (or should) do to "be pretty" or "be white" but there are things one can do to "be good" and I think many of those things are admirable and ought not to be admonished.

[niyad]

14. k and r+ a gazillion

[fizzgig]

17. near tears here

those are things i wish someone had said those things to me when i was that age. the only thing missing is to love yourself for who you are.

[appalachiablue]

22. Great post. Here's to girls!

[tblue]

25. I'm 100 years old

and I still need to hear it. Here's hoping I'll get it together before I reach my 2nd hundred.

[bpj62]

31. Daughter

My daughter is 16 and she is an excellent scholar as well as a very good athlete. I have told her for years to be proud of her body and to respect others as well. I have also told her to never ever let a boy disrespect her and to stand up for herself. So far she has had only one boyfriend and it was nothing serious. I really like what this cartoon had to say.

[AwakeAtLast]

32. I'm showing this to my daughter

She will be thirteen next month. Thanks for posting!