Poll: Majority of Americans Now Believe That They Could Be Senators claims Andy Horowitz

[Mira]

Poll: Majority of Americans Now Believe That They Could Be Senators claims Andy Horowitz




WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In a poll taken on Tuesday night, a wide majority of Americans said that they now believe that they could be elected to the United States Senate.

The results reflected a renewed sense of the inclusiveness of the American political system, as those surveyed said that they believed that anyone could serve in the Senate regardless of intelligence, the ability to speak, or any other qualifications whatsoever.

While those responses indicated that, as of Tuesday night, at least, Americans were energized about the possibility of their future careers in Washington, other results were not so encouraging.

Nineteen per cent of those surveyed said that they could not respond to the poll questions because they were still in a state of shock, while fourteen per cent agreed with the statement “WTF???”


www.Borowitzreport.com

[TheBlackAdder]

1. If she were poor, she would have horrible teeth. Did taxpayer-funded Military Healthcare fund them?

I wonder how she got those choppers, which look like dentures, to me?

[eppur_se_muova]

2. OMG it's The Church Lady !

Well, without the glasses.

[FSogol]

3. "regardless of intelligence, the ability to speak, or any other qualifications whatsoever."

[IDemo]

4. I will be convinced when they pass a hog castration test

[Mira]

5. To me she looked and sounded

like Michelle Bachman resurrected and dusted off.

[yeoman6987]

6. I would do better then 54 of them for sure

The only thing I hate about running for office is if you did anything at all that appears to be negative even if it really wasn't you are pounced on or if you hang with a person who later did something negative you are pounced on....oh and then there is the money. Other then that I would run for sure especially against 54 of them.

[DreamGypsy]

7. Uh, that claim would be attributable to Andy Borowitz (with a 'B')...

...not Horowitz (his name was Vladimir, he call himself Bill, but everyone knew him as Andy):

[Mira]

8. Thanks- what a silly mistake!

and it is not Freudian