Happy Ending for 6-Year-Old After Nobody Shows Up to His Birthday Party

[glasshouses]

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/happy-ending-for-6-year-old-after-nobody-shows-up-111578010187.html








When not a single person showed up to 6-year-old Glenn Buratti’s birthday party, his mother, Ashlee, was devastated. “From the minute he woke up that day he wanted to know how many minutes until his friends came. None of the kids’ parents RSVP’d, but I was still holding on to the hope that some of them would show up,” the Florida mom
When Buratti broke the news to her son, who is autistic

[yeoman6987]

1. I don't know if Autism had anything to do with the kids not showing up

I wonder if it was just a bad day for the other parents. Kinda weird that the Mom didn't start making phone calls the day before to find out if the other children were interested. Plus did she request an RSVP? Well at least he got to ride a fire truck and some gifts from strangers who went. I am sure that made him happy.


I read some of the comments and the comments seem to point the blame on the parents for not forcing the kids in his class to go to the party.....not sure if we need to start forcing kids to attend a party just because he is in their class. Do you think we should start forcing our kids to go to every party they are invited to?

[glasshouses]

3. I just thought it was a nice story in a fucked up world

It didn't cross my mind to start forcing kids to go to parties.

[yeoman6987]

4. The comments triggered that

[glasshouses]

5. No biggie

[BrotherIvan]

6. If it were my child who was invited, we would go

Teaching your child to be a kind person isn't a bad thing. I think we think that children get to choose how they are raised and that is not the case. I would be really proud if my child was nice to everyone and defended those were bullied and had a sense of fairness and justice. So yes, I think the parents of the other children should look in the mirror a bit.

[Jenoch]

12. I agree with you.

If my six year old was invited to a classmate's birthday party and complained he did not want to go because he thought the kid was 'weird' or different, I would call the teacher to get the story and the I would make sure my kid went to the party. I would hope I would have the foresight to check with other parents to make sure their kids went as well.

Edit to add:

I wonder how the teacher handled this situation in the classroom. It could be a good teaching moment, but would need to be done in such a way so Glenn did not suffer further. I wonder how the parents of Glenn's classmates handled it. It is quite possible the parents of the kids who did not attend the birthday party were unaware of the invitation.

(The only birthday party I can really remember was my tenth when all hell broke loose when several of my friends got into a brawl about who gets to play with what toy. That was my last 'kid' birthday party.)

[BrotherIvan]

16. It sounds like the mom sent invitations directly to the parents

She said she still hasn't heard from the parents even after all the publicity. It probably was a situation where the boy is considered weird or unfriendly because of his autism and the parents gave in to their kids not wanting to go. It was sadly a great learning opportunity for the kids that was lost.

Well, at least I can say all the strangers that showed up and were awesome were raised right. Good on them!

[Jenoch]

25. I didn't read it that way.

My guess is the invites were given out in the classroom and there was a request for an RSVP on the invitation. If that was the case, I'm not sure the mom had the contact information for the other parents.

I too am pleased so many 'strangers' showed up that day with their children. As a six year old, I would have been scared shitless if that many people showed up and we didn't already know them. I am proud of that little boy and for the kindness of those who went to his home that day. I bet that family has made some permanent new friends.

Edit to add:

I just remembered something from when I was in the first grade. There was a kid who had epilepsy and he had to where a football helmet because he had siezures and would hit the floor pretty hard. (I am sure the medications are much improved and these days there are helmets specially designed for siezures). It was kind of scary for the kids in class but we began to look out for him. I already knew him from Sunday school.

[BrotherIvan]

29. We had a kid in school that probably would have been diagnosed with autism

I remember sticking up for him and making sure he didn't sit alone. Went to his house and birthday parties. My mom NEVER would have let me get out of going to his party, no matter how much I whined he wasn't "cool" enough. I'm glad she instilled her values of kindness and compassion, and I credit that for the reason I'm a liberal today. You gain nothing by letting your kid be a jerk, but I see it happen all the time.

(Hit enter too fast) I missed that they were handed out in school. But I am surprised that not one parent said anything even after all the publicity. You would think somebody would show up with a small present.

[Jenoch]

31. The handing the invites out at school is

a guess on my part. In my experience, that's how it is usually handled because it is so much easier than getting alk of the addresses. Some people won't release that information anyway.

[MADem]

10. The mother should have nailed down those RSVPs, IMO. RSVP is not an optional thing.

Especially knowing that the child was so set on seeing friends at the party. "Hoping" that people will show up when there's an RSVP card or email or phone number is just not on. She should have gone the extra mile and called each parent and asked, and maybe even explained/cajoled, if needs must.

Perhaps with a child who has special needs, it is not a bad idea to have the party on a day when some of the parents could also come out and socialize. In other cultures this is not an uncommon way of handling these things, particularly when you have parents who aren't too sharp--I wouldn't be surprised if some of those "stay away" types thought autism was catching.

[BrotherIvan]

17. Yeah, it's all her fault

[MADem]

19. Yeah, you're a struggling reader, I see, if that is what you took from the PARAGRAPHS,

full of caveat and nuance, that I wrote.

Thanks for being such a great conversationalist here on DU! You really do add to the environment....

for the irony impaired...and judging by the way you read a post, that one's for you, too.

[Liberal_in_LA]

2. great story

[3catwoman3]

7. Not following up when no one RSVP'd...

...was not a wise move. Too trusting.

I'm glad there was a happy ending.

[intheflow]

23. Yes, it's the mother's fault for being too trusting.

[Hekate]

8. I have no idea what happened to my son's 7th birthday party, but only one boy showed up

This was 30 years ago, and I had already learned that people just don't think they have to RSVP. So I didn't call them to follow up. I worked full time so I didn't know the kids or the parents.

It was ghastly, for me as a parent. There was nothing "wrong" with my kid, he was just an awkward little boy with a kind heart. I didn't cry then, but I've suddenly got some tears at the memory.

However, I had everything set up for games and prizes and cake and everything so I made whatever hearty excuses I could think of for the no-shows, and one invitee was there so by God we had us a party. There was a race. There was pin the tail on the donkey. Whatever we were going to do, we did, and I jumped up and down and cheered and smiled till my face hurt.

You do what you gotta do, but damn it hurts to see your child hurt. At least there was one kid there.

I'm glad 6 y.o. Glenn got to see the fire truck.

[Liberal_in_LA]

9. your story makes me teary.

[Liberal_in_LA]

11. more pics

[Sheldon Cooper]

13. When my daughter was in grade school, one of the girls had a birthday party and no one showed up.

We had another commitment and I had RSVP'ed our regrets, so I didn't feel guilty for not going. But I did feel very bad for that little birthday girl. When it came time for my daughter's party, I personally called every parent who hadn't RSVP'ed to find out if they were coming or not. Turns out that only one kid was a no-show, but I wasn't leaving anything to chance.

[MADem]

22. We figured out the best way to handle these things over time...

On a flyer accompanying the invite:

Give the parents a set time, and a schedule of events to accompany the invitation--it helps if parents have an idea as to what is going on (they love to "helicopter" but they don't want to hang around and do it, necessarily).

Explain that there will be extra child care at the party (it's always a good idea to have a few "wranglers" for a load of kids).

Give firm pick up and drop off times--and let them know where the nearby malls/grocery stores are, if they want to go knock those chores out.

Invite the parents to stay and participate, if they'd like.

This technique has been honed over three generations--and we've had to deal with univited sibllings on occasion (sure, what the hell, come on in) rather than no-shows. It's important to pick a day when most kids will be able to attend--in the middle of sports season, where there are Saturday soccer games, you are better off moving the party to late afternoon, early evening or Sunday midday, for example.

[MrsMatt]

24. We learned that lesson when only 2 kids showed up for my daughter's 7th birthday party

It was planned for a Saturday noon lunch at a restaurant, followed by a two hour stint at an amusement park. Our daughter is an artistic sort, so her extra-curricular activities were not athletically inclined.

I was told later by one mother that the timing was inconvenient for those kids in sports (which is why her daughter was unable to attend).

We were much more successful with the next birthday party - all 9 guests attended on a Sunday afternoon!

[TBA]

27. it happened to me in 5th grade

I was devastated. I still get physically I'll if I throw a party of any kind. I have to know who is coming.

I think at least some of my social awkwardness can be attributed to the trauma of that event. It certainly did not help.

[renate]

14. in the Yahoo comments people are being kind of hard on the other kids' parents

If the invitations were taken to school instead of being mailed, I'd be surprised if half of them were ever seen by the parents. His classmates are only six years old.

Besides, birthday parties can be a bit of a burden. The bar has been raised pretty high in terms of gift expectations--much higher than when a lot of us were kids--and it can really be a chore for busy parents to go out and get, and pay for, a relatively expensive gift for someone their child hardly knows.

This is a sweet story. Thanks for posting it!

[underahedgerow]

15. Awww poor little man....My kid and I were lucky, she was in a small school with the classes

being only 50 kids (in 2 classes). School policy was that if you had a birthday party, you had to invite everyone in the class! It fostered the notion of no one being left out, ever. It also reduced the number of parties throughout the year, thankfully, but wow, when there was a party they were generally quite legendary! It was Hollywood after all, with some interesting offspring at the school.

We only had a couple of birthday parties throughout the school years because of this policy, but when we did, we made it an afternoon in the park with nibblies, cake and beverages, and a huge scavenger hunt that always went down a real treat. Not so impossible to throw down a party for 50 people really!!!

I really appreciated this policy and found it sensible.

Years later, I was working for a family that had a child that was going through some serious emotional problems. At school he had no friends, but really wanted a birthday party, and sadly, no one showed up of the 4 kids he invited. We made it up to him and didn't make a big deal about it, having a really festive party with the family instead. He's stabilized now, and has healthy, normal friendships, thank goodness, but it was awful for him to go through that.

I'm glad some good people stepped up and made this little guy's day special after all, that was really sweet. I don't blame the mom... none of us are perfect, and when dealing with a kid with special needs, yanno, all she can do is the best she can, there's no rule book.

[SickOfTheOnePct]

20. Our kids' school had a somewhat similar rule

If the invitations were handed out at school, every kid in the class had to be invited. If you didn't want to invite every kid, you had to either mail them or hand them elsewhere.

[mfcorey1]

18. I've read that the teacher had the invitations to pass out to the

students and she forgot. So, they never got them.

[dembotoz]

21. friends with woman who has a now adult autistic daughter--i believe the article

autistic kids are different and different is not a happy place in grade school or any school for that matter.

she was in the class but most often not PART of the class.
the difference is subtle but very real.

i hear the stories and get filled with rage and it isn't my kid

i think my kids went to all parties invited to but in all truth--was off my radar so in truth, i do not know
i would hope my family would act better.

[Jefferson23]

26. Happy Birthday, Glenn!!!!!!

[Lifelong Protester]

28. Our school policy is that invitations are mailed. Only.

We will supply any parent with addresses (that's considered 'directory' information).

We send invites home with the host/hostess with a list of addresses if need be.

If you are 6, you can't understand why you are not invited to a party (I do get it that not all parents can successfully have 15 kids or so over! It's daunting!).

Happy Birthday, Glenn!

[tavernier]

30. The world is filled with good people.

I've had troubles in my life and have been fortunate enough to find many angels in my life. I have paid back with kindness that I owed, but simply out of care for others.

I understand that this doesn't make the news, but I still think that there are more good people out there than bad.