Introducing the Alert Silk System to Warn Businesses of the Gay Threat

[damnedifIknow]

"It being immediately necessary for the preservation of the public peace, health and safety, an EMERGENCY IS HEREBY DECLARED TO EXIST!" shrieks Oklahoma State Senator Joseph Silk in his recently introduced bill, Oklahoma Religious Freedom Reformation Act of 2015. In a New York Times article, Mr. Silk explains the need for his bill: "The L.G.B.T. movement is the main thing, the primary thing that's going to be challenging religious liberties and the freedom to live out religious convictions. And I say that sensitively, because I have homosexual friends." Mr. Silk believes that gays "don't have a right to be served in every single store. People need to have the ability to refuse service if it violates their religious convictions."

*All gay people will wear an electronic transponder on their foreheads. As a homosexual enters through a business door, the transponder will be read by a receiving antenna. This will trigger a warning ("Gay! Gay! Gay! Danger! Gay! Gay! Gay!&quot alerting owners and workers that their religious liberties are about to be violated. A siren will wail and bright lights will flash. The offending homosexual should flee the premises. A.S.S. also sends a signal to police headquarters. If the homosexual is not frightened enough by the warnings and does not scamper off, local police will intervene.

I admit that this is an aggressive answer to preserve public peace, but it is necessary in this climate of emergency to America's health and safety."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/domenick-scudera/introducing-the-alert-sil_b_6830766.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

[SheilaT]

1. Surely this is actually from the Onion

or some such.

If this man actually has homosexual friends, he is still a clueless idiot.

How about all those who are fundamentalist bigots get to wear a similar transponder so that sirens can go off and a warning ("Fundamentalist Asshole Bigot! Fundamentalist Asshole Bigot!&quot can go off, so that everyone will now know exactly what kind of person is in the store.

[okasha]

3. The giveaway is the acronym

of his alert system:A.S.S.

[PeoViejo]

2. Must be a DU False-Flag operation.

No sane person would ever do this in the Real World.

[damnedifIknow]

4. ....