Looking in his mailbox: Kim Jong-un Feels Snubbed by Absence of Letter from Republicans/ Borowitz

[Mira]

PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—The North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un said on Tuesday that he feels “snubbed” by the decision of forty-seven Republican senators to write a letter to Iran but not to him, the official North Korean news agency reported.In an unusually forthcoming interview with the Korean Central News Agency (K.C.N.A.), Kim said it was “hurtful” that the Republicans would send a letter to one of the United States’ most longstanding enemies while “totally snubbing” another.

“Let’s just call it what it is: they’re playing favorites with enemies,” Kim said. “I try not to take things personally, but it’s hard to see them sending letters to Iran without feeling a little bit hurt.”

Kim said that over the past two days he had his aides checking his mailbox on an hourly basis in hopes of finding a letter from the Republicans, but now he has “pretty much given up hope.”

“Honestly, I thought I’d at least rate a text or something, but … ,” he said, his voice trailing off.

“I don’t like to beat myself up, but part of me is like, ‘What does Iran have that I don’t have?’ ” he said. “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like, when you actually get nuclear weapons, people start taking you for granted.”

www.borowitzreport.com

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

1. Maybe it's the hair?

Or the suit he wears.

[Brother Buzz]

2. Andy is on a tear!

Two back-to-back stand-up triples.

[Jim Lane]

3. Letterman had a solution for that

According to him (on Tuesday night's show), the last sentence of the Republicans' letter was (in substance): "You must forward this letter to five other rogue states within 24 hours or you will have a year of bad luck."

So if Dear Leader just waits a bit, he too may get the letter.