Man Going To Trust Society’s Determination That He Deserves His Privilege

[Katashi_itto]

IRVINE, CA—Assuming that the many benefits he enjoys every day would not have been granted to him if he weren’t fully entitled to them, local man Brandon Naylor told reporters Wednesday he is willing to accept society’s determination that he deserves his privilege.

“If our culture has decided I get to live a life of ease and limitless opportunity—and clearly it has—there’s got to be a good reason for that, right?” said the 29-year-old, who reportedly possesses such advantages as financial security, the routine deference of almost everyone he meets, and a general freedom from discomfort or want. “As far back as I can remember, I’ve been helped along by a social order that has smoothed the path in front of me, and I can’t imagine that would continue to happen if it weren’t somehow justified.”

“There’s really no other explanation if you think about it,” he added.

As a result, Naylor stated, he has full faith society has acted fairly in bestowing upon him a relatively privileged upbringing in a safe neighborhood, quickly approved loan applications, the ability to get a job interview just about anywhere with a few phone calls, and, generally speaking, the benefit of the doubt in almost every area of his life. The Orange County native reasoned that the hundreds of millions of people who compose society had made a conscious, collective decision to grant him such perks, and that it was not for him to question their judgment.
http://www.theonion.com/article/man-going-to-trust-societys-determination-that-he--37486

[Hoppy]

1. I'm getting better at this shit. I figured out it was Onion before I read the byline.

[Katashi_itto]

2. Lol! Drat!

[niyad]

3. I was hoping it was the Onion. sadly, that mindset is quite real.

[dixiegrrrrl]

4. the genius of the Onion is that it is based so closely on real.

and sometimes is TOO real.

[eppur_se_muova]

5. "The Orange County native ... " Perfect. nt

[jwirr]

6. Pretty damned self-centered and selfish. Wonder if he tell the ladies in his life the same thing?

[MineralMan]

7. The Onion nails it again!