Jeb Bush's debate reviews are in: "The guy looks like the runny yolk of a fried egg"

[Attorney in Texas]

I'm not a fan of Camille Paglia, but some of her comments on last night's debate were spot on (and funny):

Jeb Bush

Is there a blander, more boring personality in American politics? The guy looks like the runny yolk of a fried egg. He's trying to be assertive tonight because he's been told he needs to project "passion." But when his lips move, there's still a big blank. Why the heck the major media hails him as the GOP frontrunner is beyond comprehension — except that big money has been showering down on him like powdered sugar on a donut. Why do Jeb's smiles remind me of a dimply grandmother? He could and should have been a high school principal. I don't see him on the world stage, holding the line against ISIS.

Chris Christie

... Christie will never fly as presidential material. He has a braying, jabbering manner like an old-style big-city mayor of the Fiorello La Guardia era. There's something too baby-like about him. I was thinking Fatty Arbuckle? John Belushi? Under the bravado there's a hint of chaos. Maybe it's the mismatch between his ski-jump nose (not what he had in high school) and those bouncy plump lips. Anyhow, aside from his disqualifying history of thuggish behavior, Christie is too Northeastern provincial for nationwide appeal.

Marco Rubio

When he graduates from the college debating team, he will have a rosy future! Oh, er, he's 44 years old? Computer crash! Rubio is very smooth but also oddly slick. He seems caught in a time warp of self-stunted maturation, a son shying away from the Olympus of father-gods. Sorry, but this won't work in the White House. Try again in a decade or two?

Ted Cruz

Way, way too much subtext. Big, strange-looking guy with an almost womanly face. Whip smart but on a monomaniacal mission for world salvation. Announces, to great applause, that his No. 1 attribute is he "will always tell the truth." Red alert: a bruiser of a politician who thinks he has a corner on truth. Cruz's expression is habitually close to a sneer, which he offsets with pleading, faux puppy-dog eyebrows. He knows history and military affairs, but he's no negotiator — he's a General Patton prima donna.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. I don't much like Paglia either, but she does have a very sharp poison pen

and most of her comments were both hilarious and spot-on.

[CrispyQ]

2. I actually LOLd at the title.

Now I'll go back & read the comments.



on edit:

Trump is a Trojan Horse sent by the crafty Clinton machine. He has a bellyful of swords aimed at GOP hearts.

Is the media saying this? I think he's in it for the ego.

[KamaAina]

3. "He could and should have been a high school principal."

More like vice principal.

[hifiguy]

9. The viceprincipal was ALWAYS

the asshole supreme, especially if the principal was a decent sort of a duck. Always.

[livetohike]

4. She was right on and some of her thoughts on the candidates

matched mine. Rand Paul in particular. He was awful.

[MADem]

5. She is a LIBERTARIAN, and she couldn't even like "her" guy!!

Rand Paul

What a disaster! This was probably the worst debate performance in recent memory. I agree with most of Rand Paul's libertarian principles, but he certainly did them no favor tonight. He seemed surly, seething and discourteous from start to finish — like a petulant schoolboy kept after class. There was not an iota of presidential promise or gravitas. Who would want this squirming urchin as the nation's representative at an international summit? And what bizarre self-presentation — the overlarge Peter Pan collar and tie, the disorderly forehead locks, the unshaven cheeks and what sure looked like white highlighting under plucked brows. Caligula, anyone?

VICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[City Lights]

6. Ugh. I like the yolks of my fried eggs runny.

Now I'm gonna think of Johnny Bush every time I eat them.

[Peregrine Took]

7. Could that fast weight loss have affected him?

I heard he lost 40 lbs on the Paleo diet in order to get into campaign shape and I just wonder if the rigors of the diet and its effect on his body might not have adversely affected him.

Seems like a lot to lose in a short time for an older guy.

He just seems like a shadow of his former self.

Don't get me wrong - I can't stand his current self OR his former self - just trying to figure out why he's changed so much. Maybe its just as simple as that he was out of the public eye for a long time and he just lost interest in the "game' of politics.

He should get out before he's eliminated by Fox.

[Evergreen Emerald]

8. Ted Cruz creeps me out

He talks like a horny perv trying to pick someone up at a bar. He creeps me out.

[Attorney in Texas]

10. "I thought [Fiorina] was Dustin Hoffman in drag in Tootsie." Paglia is nothing if not mean

[Ino]

11. I'm trying to figure out...

which part of Cruz' face is "womanly."

[Attorney in Texas]

12. Have you seen any of these photos?

[Octafish]

13. Guy's got a niiiiice smile.

[smirkymonkey]

14. Entertaining, but hardly a substantial analysis.

Meh.

P.S: My criticism is at her, not you. Interesting post though. I did laugh a few times. Welcome to DU!