I've started several OPs today that I erased before posting.

[hedgehog]

There are many issues that I am reading about here and thinking about. When I've started the OP, I realize that I'm still working out what I think about this issue or that. I erased the OP rather than cause offense to anyone with very strongly held views.
I've made posts in the past and had my views changed by what others said in response. I've learned things here that I would never have known otherwise. Right now my fear is of getting labeled for the first thing I say regardless of where I end up. All too often now I see threads that generate more fire than heat as people talk past each other. I think we need to step back and consider whether this is a discussion site or a cage match.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. I think you're behaving very sensibly. I wish more folks would do what you're doing! n/t

[hedgehog]

2. Thank you Peggy.

[NightWatcher]

3. Nice post, Hitler

Kidding. I am more and more avoiding several topics altogether as well as using the ignore more than ever. I look for familiar names more and more too before I reply or share.

I've also deleted several posts before submitting, same too with replies to other people. DU is becoming just like other tools, it's all in how you use it as to what you get from it.

Have a good one HH

[hedgehog]

4. I try very hard not to hurt people. I have a very dry sense of humor

and realize that it can come across as very harsh. But now it's more and more a case of trying not to anger people!

[cwydro]

6. I've learned there are some very angry people here.

I've been amazed at what I read on jury duty, and even posts that don't get alerted on have amazed me in their viciousness.

There's a couple "discussions" going on now that are really the kind of thing that I think "makes DU suck."

Kind of sad.

[cilla4progress]

5. I love what you are saying,

and it applies in real (in-person non-virtual) interactions as well.

I never know, when I am in disagreement with someone or presenting opposing views, how far the conversation - civil in tone, of course - can go, without one of us bugging out.

I, for one, enjoy that type of discourse. I love philosophy, and to philosophize requires hashing through perspectives. I would rather discourse with someone with an opposing viewpoint who is willing to engage, than with someone with similar views who is intolerant.
In fact, I see this a lot: folks with divergent views who are esssentially "on the same side" (eg, HRC vs. Bernie supporters; progressives vs. Black Lives Matters supporters), who are unwilling to discourse, to engage, to consider the other's views, and who just essentially walk out of the conversation. I find that stunning.

As you say, how else will we learn and grow? ... if that is our goal.

I think sometimes passion gets in the way, but passion, I believe, should be tempered with both empathy and tolerance.

Thank you for bringing this to light.

[pnwmom]

7. I can't imagine you writing a thoughtless or harsh post, hedgehog.

I guess this is why!

[hedgehog]

8. Thank you, but I know I've irritated some people here - we're just not on the same wavelength

All themore reason to take care with posting,I guess.

As an aside -I've seen some flamefests that go back to regional differences in how we use the language. Northerners and Southerners sometimes insult each other without knowing it. I've done that in real life myself. In my ethnic group "you're such a liar!" can be said as a joking response, but people from other ethnic groups take that charge seriously and are very insulted. And don't get me started on finger pointing!