'Hi. This is a reminder from the technical department, regarding your Windows computer...'

[onehandle]

This is the first thing the heavy Indian accented person says when they call you out of the blue.

This has been discussed here before, but a reminder to immediately hang up on them and block the number if you have that capability.

It's an infamous scam company from India that prey on older and simply naive people.

I just got a call from them for about the 10th time in the last two years.

My iPhone said it was from a suburb just outside of town here, so I thought it might be a work related call or a friend.

Nope. They reroute the call from India to make it appear to be coming locally.

Again. It is a scam.

________

“I am calling you from Windows”: A tech support scammer dials Ars Technica

http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2012/10/i-am-calling-you-from-windows-a-tech-support-scammer-dials-ars-technica

Inside the US government’s war on tech support scammers

[img][/img]

http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2014/05/stains-of-deceitfulness-inside-the-us-governments-war-on-tech-support-scammers/

[hobbit709]

1. I keep them on the line as long as possible before they hang up on me.

"I'm not running Windows" "Are you using Linux or a Mac?" "No" "What are you using?" "DOS"-click
"That's funny, my security software says all the viruses are coming from your IP"-click

and many variations thereof.

[onehandle]

5. What I want to say is, 'Before you say anything else, what is your office's address in India?'

'I'm going to be there on business in a few weeks and I would like to find you and beat the shit out of you.'

[hobbit709]

6. The longer you keep them on the line, the longer before they can call someone else.

[jberryhill]

13. Bingo... you are using time that would be spent on an actual victim

It's a public service.

[jberryhill]

9. Yup

It can be a real hoot when they finally realize you are just wasting their time for shits and giggles.

"Hey, are you from India? Can you introduce me to Priyanka Chopra?"

Sometimes I'll just prattle away about my favorite Priyanka Chopra or Kareena Kapor movies.

"Did you see Jab We Met? Kareena was awesome in that film!"

But, if you haven't seen it, Chopra's masterpiece is What's Your Rashee. A man is seeking his ideal mate and dates a woman of each sign of the horoscope. ALL twelve women are played by Priyanka Chopra, and I didn't even notice that until the film was about two thirds of the way through, which my wife thought was hilarious. Consistent with the plot, they each have a unique character, mannerisms, etc.. Just mindblowing.

Honestly, if you want to see a spectacularly talented performance, I'd highly recommend it:

She's also every woman in that video.

[bemildred]

27. +1. nt

[toddwv]

74. I'm thinking of setting up a honeypot...

A virtual machine with limited network access through a port forwarding vpn.

See if I can keep them on the phone for a few hours.

Enjoy your telephone bill... buwahaha

[MADem]

81. I do that too, but I say "The computer is upstairs. I have to go get it.

Can you wait?" They say yes, and I put the phone down in front of the TV speaker.

Then I go back to watching "Family Feud" or some other stupid amusement!

I figure I'm slowing 'em down from preying on someone else, if only just a bit.

[liberal N proud]

2. Some of these scammers change numbers frequently to get past the number blocking

I have placed several on block only to get further calls from them, from a new number.

[onehandle]

3. Yeah, but every little bit helps.

Like I said, I block them. Then like clockwork, a couple of months later, they find me again.

[CajunBlazer]

17. You can't block them, they use a different number every time.

The are using software to fake out your caller ID into thinking that the call is coming from a US number which is usually a number that is not in service. They keep changing the number that is used so blocking the last faked number does no good - you are spending time trying to bloke them and gaining nothing.

[Danascot]

71. I got a call the other day ...

I looked at caller ID and it said it was from my number!

[SeattleVet]

75. That's one of their scams...they will also use 1 number off from your number.

I blocked my own number. Think about it for a microsecond - what happens when you call your own number, from your own number? How likely are you to place a call like that? There is absolutely no reason not to block it.

[jberryhill]

4. I have a lot of fun with those guys

I act like the perfect mark, but really, really, really inept.

I am absolutely earnest in wanting to fix the problem, but I keep ending up typing the wrong thing in the wrong place, or clicking on the wrong thing.

"My browser? I don't have a browser. .... Ohhhh, you mean the Google! Yeah, I have the Google! I'm looking at the Google, what do I do now?"

They try to stay calm and professional, but I delight in the growing frustration in their voices. At some point, when they are reaching the end of their wits, I tell them, "You are really one sad, stupid m----f---r, you know that?"


I've never gotten a call from one of the "debt collector" guys. I would love to mess with one of them.

[Hortensis]

10. LOL. I can't say it was fun, but we got one a couple weeks ago. I led him on

a bit out of curiosity, and this one became very authoritative, giving me orders (I'm female), eventually sounding angry that I wasn't doing what I was told and ordering me strongly and impatiently to comply. Horrible to think this tactic probably succeeds with some.

[sharp_stick]

20. Oh the debt collectors

This is a little long but I think it's kind of funny. It happened back in May.


I had a woman on the line for more than 10 minutes.

She was calling from the IRS to tell me that I needed to pay up for misrepresenting my 2013 tax return.

She was kind enough to warn me that the police would arrest me that very day unless I worked with her right now to erase the debt.

I got all flustered and let her know that I was intent on working with her to fix any problem there might be. You could tell she sensed blood in the water, she got all sweet and warm telling me that she was glad to hear it.

She still hadn't gotten to any numbers but she said that because I was willing to work with her she could, all on her own, reduce my debt to 25% of the total owing if I paid it right now. I told her I didn't have a credit card and she was very quick in telling me that they would be more than happy to take a Western Union...Oh good I can do that, they have an office right next to my bank. She was almost giggling at this point.

She said that the IRS determined that I defrauded the US Government to the tune of $9365.45. I remember the number because I wrote it down to see if she'd remember it later, she must have written it down too because she did...Pissed me off that's where I usually start to let them know I'm not quite the mark they assume I am.

She quickly said that because of my cooperation she would be happy to take $2,341 or somewhere in that area, that day to settle the debt. I balked a bit here telling her that it was a lot of money I might have to cash in a savings bond. She insisted I do it today or I'd spend the night in jail...Getting a little pissy she was.

I asked her to check her original number because it didn't sound right to me, she quoted back the $9365.45. At this point my wife had to leave the room because I thought the moron on the phone would hear her laughing. I then started loudly clicking away on the computer, told her that I was bringing up my 2013 tax form and I wanted her to go through it with me to find out where the mistake was made. She let me know that it was fraud in there opinion not a mistake. I said that's impossible because I clearly remember trying to defraud the IRS only to the tune of $6000 so there must be a mistake.

She was getting a little suspicious here and I was getting bored and running out of ideas. I then clicked away a bunch more, checking my bank account. I told her I didn't think I'd be able to come up with the money they needed right away, she told me to borrow it and I said I just couldn't do it.

Now she was getting mad..The police will be there this afternoon if you don't pay today. I said thanks for letting know I'll wait at the sidewalk, can I bring my own toothbrush?

I then abused her verbally, questioned her parentage and accused her of sexual relations with farm animals before she hung up.

[jberryhill]

25. It's the "goodbye" that is so satisfying

I need to learn the most offensive things one can say in Hindi, Marathi, and Bengali.

[sharp_stick]

50. Absolutely

I'm considering writing down a really offensive script. If I could recite it in Hindi that would be even better.

[treestar]

62. lol

that was worth reading!

[BlueJazz]

64. What you said !!

[sharp_stick]

83. Glad you liked it

I knew these calls were happening and I told my wife that I was just waiting to get one. When I started acting all concerned about how bad this was she could barely contain herself.

[KentuckyWoman]

78. That was my favorite read for the last several months.

Almost 3 in the morning here and I laughed so good I startled the cat. THANK YOU.

[sharp_stick]

84. I'm glad you enjoyed it

please apologize to your cat for me. My wife was laughing out loud. It made for a fun afternoon and a pretty good story that we enjoy telling.

[MADem]

82. You need to record these, like Tom Mabe! nt

[sharp_stick]

85. Thanks but I don't think I could keep in character

as well as he does.

"Are you seriously calling the Littleton police department?"

[Spitfire of ATJ]

29. Kinda like this....

[Human101948]

34. I wanted to hear more about the Mexican midget...

sounds like a lot of fun! Playing "hide the burrito" and all that.

[lpbk2713]

7. They get a Skype phone number from say Baltimore.

Then they concentrate all their calls on the Baltimore area for a while. When they think they have made enough calls to Baltimore then they might change to a new Skype number for Houston and start all over again. Meanwhile they never moved a foot out of their cheesy little flat on the other side of the planet.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. I have received that call - it was good for some light entertainment

for about 10 minutes, in which I wasted their time and pissed them off.

They told me my computer had a virus and it was affecting my windows. I asked them, which computer; I have three of them. They said all of them. I asked, how did they know which one? They said, all of them would be infected and the virus was in my windows. I said I had just got new windows with triple-pane glass, and what do my windows have to do with my computer? They said, your windows is controlled by your computer. I said, my security system is connected to my windows but Comcast handles that, not Microsoft. My windows are fine. We went back and forth like this for quite awhile (as I pretended to be a dumb, confused old lady) until the guy, sounding really exasperated, said something like, "Your computer has a virus because it's a Windows computer!" I said, "No, it isn't; it's an Apple computer." And then he hung up.

Of course it's easier to just hang up on these assholes, but if you feel like having a little fun you can string them along for awhile and waste their time.

[onehandle]

11. Yeah. I imagine 'I have a Mac' would end the call pretty quickly.

Few people would believe their 'Mac was infested with viruses.'

[Spitfire of ATJ]

41. Or Linux...

[jberryhill]

12. Windows!

Lol... and I haven't figured out where the "any key" is on my keyboard!

[getting old in mke]

37. My kids gave me an "Any" key

keycap for my keyboard a few years ago...

[emulatorloo]

19. I tell them I don't have a computer.

Really throws them off their script.

[demigoddess]

38. when I told them that they said "yes, you do, you have two"

so I said I sold them. Then they hung up

[emulatorloo]

86. Lol, well done!

[CoffeeCat]

77. I have had a few males call...

...and when I say that I'm not interested and they realize I'm a lost cause, they start trying to shock me with, "I want to F%$* you" nonsense on the phone.

Of course, they expect females to be shocked, upset and hang up. NOT ME. I get as graphic as they are and I tell them that they couldn't handle me and that I need to know--in great detail--what they plan on doing to me.

They usually have no idea what to say, especially when I drop a few f-bombs myself. I just love that.

A little American feminism right back at them.

[KentuckyWoman]

79. OMG

I'm stealing that........

[IDemo]

14. Here's how to handle them:

[progressoid]

61. Haaaahahaha!

That was great.

[WinkyDink]

68. OMG!! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!! "Mexican midget"!!

[DetlefK]

15. "You mean Microsoft?" - "No, Windows."

[Gloria]

16. These calls come to me in pairs, back to back....

I just hang up...
I think they are out of Florida...at least the recent ones I've gotten over the last few days...

It's been awhile since I got any....maybe a couple of months, but they came again a couple of days ago....mostly guys,
a woman on the last call....

[polly7]

18. I let one of them go on for a bit then hung up.

He called me back! Yelling .. asking why I hung up?! So I slammed the phone down and hoped it hurt his ear a lot. I thought this was the strangest thing ... others here said at the time it had happened to them, too, so I guess I wasn't unique. What an *!

[tkmorris]

21. Anyone know how to say "Go blow a cow" in Hindi?

[nykym]

24. Google says

Ēka gāya kō uṛānē kē li'ē jā'ō

[SeattleVet]

42. This doesn't have 'Go blow a cow', but...

it does have a LOT of other handy little phrases you can drop into the conversation!

http://www.youswear.com/index.asp?language=Hindi

(It also has a lot of other languages, so you can swear at them in whatever their local dialect is.)

If I see an unknown Caller ID, or a known scammer, I turn on the radio scanner by my desk and just answer the phone, "North precinct; fraud division. Clearly state your name and your company name for the record" in a very authoritative voice, with police calls going on in the background. These guys can't seem to hang up fast enough sometimes.

If they do hang on for the ride, I start muttering Hindi curses while they read their script. I ask them how they like doing a job that even the untouchables would shun. I had one guy start to curse at me after I mentioned that he should go back to work pimping out his mother and sister in the filthiest brothel in the slums of Kolkata, as it would be a much more honorable means of employment. I like to ask if they think their mother and father would be proud of them, doing this nastiest of jobs.

I also use an Ooma VOIP phone system. With their 'Premium' service (about $10/month) they have a set of blacklists that you can use to stop most of the scam callers. They have the Personal blacklist - you add the number and never hear from that one again. If enough people report a number they have a 'Community' blacklist that you can turn on. They also recently added the NoMoRobo service, which does a pretty good job of blocking most robo-calls.

I used to get at least 5 or 6 of these calls a week (more as the holiday season approached), but after using the various Ooma blacklists over the past two years or so I am now down to maybe one or two a month.

[NuclearDem]

22. Microsoft does not cold call, period.

[Ichigo Kurosaki]

26. M$ doesn't even have your phone # unless you give it to them.

Plus they have no real way to tie the computer to an actual user unless they do a court order through your ISP.

[brush]

23. I've gotten that call several times too

When they start their Windows spiel I immediately tell them, "I have a Mac", and hang up.

Folks with PCs should do the same.

[Ichigo Kurosaki]

28. Just ask them how they got your phone #

They have no way of knowing what computer on the web belongs to you.
Well, the NSA could find out.

[brush]

30. I imagine they buy lists of active numbers somehow

But I know it's a scam so I don't waste time with them.

[MurrayDelph]

33. I've done a few things

"Oh, really? Which computer: we have three. Can you tell me it's IP address? No, then you don't really know I have a problem, do you?"

or, since before retiring, I was a SysAdmin:

"You're calling for Windows Support? My rates are $45/hour to fix your computer. What's your credit card number, please?"

or:

"Do your parents know you try to steal money from elderly people in America? Do you think they would be proud of what you do? Why don't you find an honest job where they can be proud of you?"


Now, when I answer the phone (because they do change up the numbers) and there is no one there in the first second or two, I assume it's a boiler room in India and just hang up.

[Omaha Steve]

31. I like to screw with them when I have the time

When I get tired I tell them I don't have a windows PC.

[LiberalArkie]

32. What is funny, just yesterday I noticed a charge on my BOA card and a charge the month before

I called both places and
1. they asked for my card number
2. my Social Security number.

I hung up. the funny name on one of the charges was "14bux" and it was for 14.99.

I really think it is some Americans running the scams out of India myself. But you have to be on your toes for sure

[SwankyXomb]

66. Call your actual bank right now.

Your card is compromised.

[LiberalArkie]

67. Oh, I did as soon as I saw it. The lady at fraud said they were phishing with small

transactions before they sent a bigger and then a bigger on up the line.

[MindPilot]

35. I used to get these on a pretty regular basis

I usually answer with something like "NSA IT, Cybersecurity, how can I help you?"

Last time, after keeping them on for a while, I said "you know this is not a good connection; let me give you my direct number so I can be right next to the computer with the problem." I read off the police non-emergency number and said "ask for 'Porky'--that's me--Porky Zimmerman." (Our chief of police is Shelly Zimmerman.)

Haven't heard from them since.

[Thunderbeast]

36. I get the call at least five times each week

I sometimes play them, but usually just hang up.

Last week I got other calls from India from the "Mega-Millions Organization". They were going to come by that afternoon to deliver my prize (including a new Mercedes). I was in a rural area on my cell phone. The first two calls dropped. I then got a call from a "supervisor" asking what my problem was.

After the call dropped for the third time, they gave up.

[packman]

39. Sort of proud of myself

had one of those Window repair calls a few weeks back. I got the guy so frustrated that the call ended up with him yelling, "F--- you, you mother-----" and he hung up on me. Felt good all day long.

[iandhr]

40. I have gotten that.

And I use a Mac

[Retrograde]

43. "You want to help with my Windows? Great!"

I need to get the storm windows up for winter and since I'm elderly I have a problem with the ones on the 2nd floor. I'm so glad you called. When can you be over? This afternoon works for me....what do you mean you don't install windows? Well, can you wash them at least? It's really hard for me to reach some of them and you sound like a nice young man...Hello? Hello?"

[niyad]

47. you nearly owed me a keyboard!

now that you mention it "gee, will you bring help, as I have thirty-two windows, including the ones on the third floor"

[Liberalagogo]

44. This works

if you have limited call blocking or no call blocker at all.

www.nomorobo.com

It works for non-robo calls too if you report the number.
You must have simultaneous ring with your service for this to work. And it's free.

[Capt.Rocky300]

45. I got one of these calls yesterday......

It's the second one I've received. As soon as he got the "I'm from windows" out of his mouth I yelled "No you're not! Your a fucking crook in India so go fuck yourself" and hung up. It felt really good. I have it blocked now.

[niyad]

46. "really??? but I'm using a mac."

[niyad]

48. a friend got caught by this fraud earlier this year, and it took several months to get her account

straightened out (yes, she actually fell for it). I had to explain to her that microsoft does not call one, and that she got screwed.

[No Vested Interest]

49. I get the call about once a week. I tell them to

take my name off the list, but, obviously, that doesn't work - especially when they're not in the US.

[RKP5637]

51. That should work really well on my Linux computer! LOL! n/t

[Binkie The Clown]

52. The one I get over and over is "Hi, this is John from the shipping department..."

followed by a pitch for some product or another that is ready to ship to me if they can just a little more information from me...

[woodsprite]

53. I keep an air horn handy for those calls.

If it doesn't burst their eardrums, it'll make'em ring for awhile and maybe give them a devil of a headache.

[Paper Roses]

55. Great idea. I'm so sick of these calls. 'Do not call' list does not mean anything!

If I can get to the phone quickly enough, I will reject the call. More often than not. I get 'missed' call notification. I Ignore them but a day or 2 later, the same call appears. My phone does not have a "block number" option but I think that no longer means anything. These calls come from about a zillion numbers.

I miss my old land line!!

[woodsprite]

58. That's where we're receiving them - on our land line.

I've only received one on my cell phone, and got rid of him by saying I had a Linux system.

[SeattleVet]

60. The dynamic range on the phone lines will keep the level way down at their end.

You are more likely to hurt your own ears, being in the same room with it, than to hurt anyone at the other end of the line.

(It *is* satisfying, though!)

[Initech]

54. I would just tell them that I build and maintain my own PCs.

I think that I would know if they have a problem or not.

[meaculpa2011]

56. I kept him on the line for ten minutes...

and went through the motions of allowing him to take control of my keyboard.

"Just go to this web address and type in this code."

When he didn't see any result he asked if I had typed in the right code. "Let me try it again."

TAP... TAP... TAP... TAP... TAP... Still nothing.

"What kind of computer do you have?"

"A Commodore 64."

After about ten minutes on another call with American Auto Warranty, I told the rep that I was very excited about getting an extended warranty for my 1927 Duesenberg.

Next time I'm doing the murder scene gag.

[question everything]

57. First time I thought it was legit, so I catually replied that I am using a Mac

now I just hang up.

[muriel_volestrangler]

59. I got one of them so annoyed once, he ended up saying he hope my wife got herpes

(I had to ask him to repeat it, because I couldn't believe that was what he said).

I count that as a successful bit of anti-scam trolling.

[KamaAina]

63. An old musician friend had an answer

He'd pick up an out-of-tune sax and blow it into the receiver.

Alas, he only did that to robocalls, not live callers.

[Blue_In_AK]

65. I had a message a couple days ago

from someone purporting to be the IRS threatening to sue me. I can just imagine if I had called back - "Just confirm your social security number and we can clear this up right away." LOL.

[d_legendary1]

69. That's right up there with the police calling you up to arrest you

unless you pay a fine. I'd rather take my chances with that random lottery I never entered. Or that Nigerian prince I'm related to...

[Archae]

70. What happened to "Heather from card services?"

I haven't got a call from her for several weeks now!

[SeattleVet]

76. The latest batch of 'Card Services' scammers were hit with a tens-of-millions dollar fine.

They'll be back. They always are.

[marked50]

72. Not sure if this post will help, but.....

went through about 2/3 rd's of all the replies and didn't quite see what my experience has been but I think it's needed.

We got a few of these calls and after just hanging up I decided to ask them it they had any morality in them to appeal to that possibility. Then on the next call to maybe to waste their time-like if I wasted their time they wouldn't be calling someone else. Played dumb and followed them for the first few steps. They caught on and their response was not nice-of couse.

Next call. Played like I was German and they followed along for awhile and they actually could speak German too. Had to just hang up.

Next call, just talked gibberish and every response from them was a curse or profanity of my character. They didn't stop. Each gibberish was answered in profanity. Finally I just had to hang up. It was getting boring.

They never stopped return calling. Actually, the frequency increased. Just hung up everytime. If you hung up before the normal "answering" machine time and made no voice responset hen it was over. if for some reason you missed that timing or responded with a voice then you would get a real person who was only trying to hassle you-some even used my first name and I have no idea how they knew that unless they actually spent some effort to do so- to harass takes effort.

Timing was weird- just the calls over the weekdays, they would leave you alone on the weekends.

Got so bad we just never answered the phone and let the answering machine take the calls. Pretty inconvenient for our friends and family.

End result: we dropped our regular land line (which we had for over 15 years). Went to a VOIP and had to spend days letting everyone know of our new number (including all those on-line contacts -like businesses-too).

Bottom line- You get these calls, just hang up. Don't play with them. Maybe they will leave you alone. No recourse with the regulatory bodies- They just take the complaint and leave it at that. No traceability-no responsibility.

Take it from me- don't get "cute" or try and out-smart them. They are some really nasty people and treat it all as a vendetta.

[yuiyoshida]

73. OMG! SO THATS What that was??

I got one of those calls, telling me that my computer had been infected. I said who are you? There was a long pause, and they hung up. I called them back, on their number, and said I want to know called me about my computer being affected with a virus, and how the hell did they know.. The guy says, let me get you a representative, and then proceeded to put me on hold, and then the line was picked up and disconnected. So I said, the hell with it, and never called them back.

I knew something was up, because I don't have any company monitoring my computer system, because I do that myself.

[HeiressofBickworth]

80. This thread makes me giggle

I can see the humorous ways these annoying calls are handled and in a freakish way, wish I could play with some of the callers. But, we have a system where the incoming call flashes on the tv screen. The answering machine answers in 2 rings, long before I can actually reach the phone. Very seldom are messages left -- most hang up as soon as they hear the generic male voice say there is no one here to answer your call. We each have cell phones and use them for our own phoning. So far, I have never received a scam call on my cell. But, I can see the fun I'm missing.

In a similar vein, have you ever gone to www. 419eaters dot com. They play wonderful games with scammers across the world. The theory is that keeping the scammers busy keeps them from reaching actual potential victims. They have rules for scamming the scammers which are geared towards safety and anonymity. The stories are very funny.