Yog-Sothoth takes lead in polls for GOP nomination...

[First Speaker]

...Fox News today reported that Yog-Sothoth, the legendary Old One and Gatekeeper of the Universe, the embodiment of pure evil, has surpassed Donald Trump to take the lead in the Republican Presidential field. Sothoth, whose real age no one has ever determined, has surged on the basis of the Republican base admiring his forthright stands on the issues, especially his promise to devour the souls of "all Liberals", and his pledge to send all illegal immigrants shrieking to eternal damnation in the Nether Regions. His platform, he says with a wry chuckle, can be seen in its entirety in the legendary book the Necronomicon. Attempts to check on this, unfortunately, have been hampered by the fact that any mortal who reads this book is driven permanently and irreversibly insane, but Sothoth and his aides doubt this will be any impediment to his drive for the nomination. There have been rumblings from the other GOP candidates that he wasn't born in the United States, but Sothoth claims to be a native of Arkham, Massachusetts, and so far no one either in the GOP field, or in the media, has felt any inclination to challenge this...

[KamaAina]

1. I demand to see his long-form birth certificate!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. I think the GOPers will choose this guy:

[branford]

3. I'm far more interested in the close race for Speaker of the House

between the Hastur, the Unspeakable One, and Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos, particularly after Representative Cthulhu unexpectedly dropped out. It was obvious that Cthulhu was the establishment choice, and the resulting chaos of the election does not bode well for humanity.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. Wasn't Hastur the Speaker until just a few years ago?

Oh, wait, that was Hastert the Unspeakable.

[branford]

7. Well done.

[hifiguy]

9. a/k/a Beefy McBratwurst

(c) Stephanie Miller.

[hifiguy]

4. Great C'thulhu and Nyarlahotep

haven't bowed out yet. This could be a tight race. Especially with that Cartman kid working with C'thulhu.

[roscoeroscoe]

6. Only

The great spaghetti monster can protect us... Hold tight to his noodly appendage

[jpak]

8. LOL

[randome]

10. Not so fast! Figaro, the happy squirrel wants in on this action!

[hr][font color="blue"][center]Everything is a satellite to some other thing.[/center][/font][hr]

[Bucky]

11. Are you sure about the insanity party. Cause I left my copy at the Fox News employee lounge

and I guess that makes me partially responsible for the last 20 years of history

[roguevalley]

12. genius. this speaker, genius

[Orrex]

13. Don't blame me. I voted for Shub-Niggurath

[branford]

16. Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young,

never really connected with urban and younger voters.

Besides, a female candidate was always going to have a rough time among a field of virtually all male Old Ones and Outer Gods. It's tough to crack that dimensional ceiling.

[stage left]

14. LMAO

at your OP and at this whole thread. In my younger days I was very disappointed to find that I couldn't check out the Necronomicon from my local library. I've always been too curious for my own good.

[randome]

15. On a side note, it will soon be the 50th anniversary of the release of Die, Monster, Die!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Die,_Monster,_Die!

In their book Lurker in the Lobby: A Guide to the Cinema of H. P. Lovecraft, Andrew Migliore and John Strysik call Die, Monster, Die! a "textbook example of the walking-around-endlessly-in-a-big-house school of filmmaking."[5] G. Noel Gross, writing for the DVD review website DVD Talk, writes: "The plodding plot would be more painful if the flick were longer, but the intriguing meld of gothic horror and contemporary sci-fi is hard to pass up."

Yes, it was a hokey movie only loosely based on Lovecraft but it scared the shit out of me when I was a kid.

So did its companion movie in the U.S., Planet of the Vampires.

In the USA, American International Pictures released the film on 27 October 1965 as the first feature on a double bill with Mario Bava's Planet of the Vampires (1965).[3] In the UK the film was trade-shown on 4 February 1966 and released on the 20th, supported by Roger Corman's 1963 film The Haunted Palace (also based on a Lovecraft story).

[hr][font color="blue"][center]No squirrels were harmed in the making of this post. Yet.[/center][/font][hr]

[Orrex]

19. That's German for "The Monster, The!"

[muriel_volestrangler]

17. "whose real age no one has ever determined" - there you go, he's not eligible

He has to prove he's 35 or more. No original Created From The Void At The Birth Of The Universe certificate, no presidential run.

[Octafish]

18. For readers at the beginning...

http://nerdunderground.net/artist-rewrites-h-p-lovecraft-as-dr-seuss/