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Fri Nov 6, 2015, 01:19 PM

 

I worked for the CIA in Laos in Special Ops...

After meeting Richard Nixon at the Lincoln Memorial he begged me to go in country to further the Peace Talks. I spent six months in the jungle fighting alongside the Hmong. I wanted more out of life than just killing, so I enrolled at Harvard after receiving a full scholarship. After my sophomore year I was nominated for the Nobel Prize in physics based on my work on string theory with Steven Hawking. Working with him slowed me down so I flew on the first manned mission to Mars, establishing a colony that is still thriving.

Now I believe that I am uniquely qualified to be the Republican nominee for President of these great United States of America!

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Reply I worked for the CIA in Laos in Special Ops... (Original post)
Human101948 Nov 2015 OP
MohRokTah Nov 2015 #1
Human101948 Nov 2015 #3
n2doc Nov 2015 #4
Nitram Nov 2015 #5
Human101948 Nov 2015 #6
Nitram Nov 2015 #8
Human101948 Nov 2015 #10
Nitram Nov 2015 #14
Bucky Nov 2015 #2
jwirr Nov 2015 #7
KamaAina Nov 2015 #9
Human101948 Nov 2015 #11
spanone Nov 2015 #12
gratuitous Nov 2015 #13
DFW Nov 2015 #15
Guy Whitey Corngood Nov 2015 #16

Response to Human101948 (Original post)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 01:20 PM

1. You didn't even need the sarcasm emoji. eom

 

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Response to MohRokTah (Reply #1)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 01:25 PM

3. I wanted it to be believable so I left out the part...

 

where I had a near death experience and met Jesus. We had such long discussion that we drank all the wine. No problem, said Jesus, as he waved his hand over the glasses. Lo and behold, my cup runneth over again with excellent zinfandel!

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Response to Human101948 (Reply #3)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 01:51 PM

4. I thought he just opened up an artery to fill the glasses!

Anyway, no worries about a hangover with Jesus Juice....

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Response to Human101948 (Reply #3)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:02 PM

5. Zinfandel? I thought Jesus had better taste than that!

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Response to Nitram (Reply #5)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:03 PM

6. He doesn't like the French...

 

says they are mostly atheists.

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Response to Human101948 (Reply #6)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:09 PM

8. Co why not a nice California Cabernet?

Or maybe an Argentine Syrrah.

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Response to Nitram (Reply #8)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:12 PM

10. Old vines are his preference...

 

He likes the complex flavors of raspberry and licorice with hard tannins.

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Response to Human101948 (Reply #10)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:16 PM

14. Now you're talking!

I like black cherry and spice myself.

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Response to Human101948 (Original post)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 01:21 PM

2. Thank you, Dr. Carson

But can you please show a little more energy when you debate?

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Response to Human101948 (Original post)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:07 PM

7. Have you got any Cherry Trees in your back yard? You

might as well tell that one also!

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Response to Human101948 (Original post)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:11 PM

9. Nice post, Brian Williams!

 

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Response to KamaAina (Reply #9)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:14 PM

11. Thank you!

 

I also invented the Whopper for Burger King.

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Response to Human101948 (Original post)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:14 PM

12. is that you Ben?

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Response to Human101948 (Original post)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:16 PM

13. Steve?

You knew me as Herbie. Damn, it's good to hear from you again.

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Response to Human101948 (Original post)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:17 PM

15. Carson also sings this song (and means it):

by Woody Guthrie
I was born about ten thousand years ago
There ain't nuthin' in this world that I don't know
I saw Peter Paul and Moses playin' ring-around-the-roses
And I'll whup the guy what says it isn't so
Well, I'm just a lonesome traveler, a great historical bum
Highly educated through history I have come
I built the Rock of Ages, it was in the year oh one
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done
I saw Adam and Eve driven from the door
I'm the guy that picked the figleaves that they wore
And from behind the bushes peepin' saw the apple they was eatin'
And I swear that I'm the one that et the core
Now I built the garden of Eden, it was in the year oh two
Joined the apple-pickers union and I always paid my dues
I'm the man that signed the contract to raise the risin' sun
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done
I taught Samson how to use his mighty hand
I showed Columbus to this happy land
And for Pharaoh's little kiddies I built all the pyramiddies
And to the Sahara carried all the sand
Now I was strawboss on the pyramids and the tower of Babel too
I opened up the ocean, let the mighty children through
I fought a million battles and I never lost a one
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done
I taught Solomon his little ABC's
I'm the first one to eat Limburger cheese
And while floating down the bay with Methuseleh one day
I saw his whiskers floating in the breeze
Now I fought the revolution that set this country free
It was me and a couple of Indians that dumped the Boston tea
I won the battle of Valley Forge and the battle of Bully Run
And that's about the biggest thing that Man has ever done
Now Queen Elizabeth she fell in love with me
We were married in Milwaukee secretly
But I got tired and shook her and ran off with General Hooker
To go shootin' skeeters down in Tennessee


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Response to Human101948 (Original post)

Fri Nov 6, 2015, 03:41 PM

16. Your lack of enjoyment killing commies disqualifies you right away. nt

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