I am seriously running out of swear words for the fake 'microsoft service' calls I keep getting

[Siwsan]

After I let loose with a barrage of multi-lingual and very foul language, the last time, the calls stopped, for a while. Now they are starting back up, again. I finally told them, between curses, that they are wasting my time because I use Apple computers. Ok, a big lie, but like I said, I'm running out of curses. And who knows, maybe I just put myself on a list where they will start calling to tell me they need to fix my IPad problems!!

I'm going to think of this as motivation to drop my land line.

[1StrongBlackMan]

1. I don't get those calls ...

because if I don't recognize the number or the caller ID doesn't tell me it is someone I want to speak with ... I just don't answer it.

[Siwsan]

2. No caller ID, here

This is a weird area for AT&T. If I upgrade my phone service, I'll lose my DSL because they haven't extended their UVerse services to my part of the county.

[cwydro]

12. Just hang up.

Why work yourself up so needlessly?

[dixiegrrrrl]

23. We use a cheap answering machine, set to 2 rings.

If there is no recognizable voice at the end of our short message, we don't pick up.
That way we can keep our cheap land line and still have calls blocked.

[steve2470]

11. same here, I don't respond to unknown numbers on my caller ID

If it's that important, they can leave a message and I'll call back.

[emulatorloo]

3. "I don't have a computer" works well for me. Or

"The official Microsoft website says you are a liar and a theif" works well too.

[Siwsan]

6. I'm kind of thinking about buying a whistle

Cruel, I know.

[emulatorloo]

9. Lol, good idea. Those scammers need a little tough love.

Might have to get one for the fake IRS agents who call to tell me the Sherriff will be at the door in 1/2 hr to take me to prison.

[Siwsan]

13. I get one giving me a number to call because a debt collector needs to contact me

Yea. Right. TOTALLY believable.

[PADemD]

25. A real debt collector called me one day when I was home sick.

He wanted me to walk outside and tell my neighbor two doors down to call him. I told him that, since I had bronchitis and it was cold outside, I was not leaving my house.

[Dorian Gray]

50. He was collecting debt for your neighbor?

And he expected you to do his work for him? LOL!

I received a call for collection for my ex husband. Whom I haven't seen since 2002. I told them he's my ex... it's been 13 years....

Um... yeah, no..... good luck.

[demigoddess]

29. I told them that everyone knows they are scammers, but

I still get calls.

[Joanie Baloney]

4. Dropping the land line won't help

My b/f gets those same calls on his cell phone. He works in IT and started asking the guy which of the 3000+ PCs, servers, and iPhones has this terrible problem that he is calling about. The guy said "All of them!" and so b/f started giving him fake error messages that he was "seeing" on various machines. Finally the guy got tired of the game and hung up. Funny...he hasn't called back in months!!

[WillowTree]

47. Joanie's right.

I don't get the MS service calls (yet), but I do get the 'Credit Card Services' calls offering to lower my cc rates and I only have a cell phone. Just got another one today. If I manage to get to a person by 'pressing 1' and 'accepting' the call, I blow an air horn into the receiver, hang up, and block the number. Which will only mean that they can't get through to me from that originating number.

Once one of these scamming outfits gets ahold of your number, there really isn't any way to stop them other than to change your own number, which I'm not willing to do. The best thing to do, better than the airhorn that I use just to be perverse with them, is to just hang up immediately and block the number........and wait for the next call from another number.

[leftyladyfrommo]

63. I have a cell phone and no computer

And got a call from them. I don't answer unknown numbers. I wait for people to leave messages.

That stops a lot of that stuff. I look the numbers up on Google to see who is calling. If it is a scammed I block that number.

[safeinOhio]

5. I tell them I have a Mac and

no internet connection.

[clarice]

7. AND Google calls. nt

[valerief]

8. If you don't know who's calling, let them leave a voicemail. I never answer if I

don't know who's calling me. Most calls are shit calls.

[Siwsan]

10. These calls usually come at dinner time, so I should just let the machine pick up

When my Aunt, Mom and Sister were so ill, I grew accustomed to grabbing the phone as soon as it rang. It's a hard habit to break.

[Drahthaardogs]

14. I troll them.

Tell them the screen is black, the virus must be doing it. Let them tel you to turn on power. Basically just act like a complete noob. Much fun can be had

[Siwsan]

15. Perhaps I should tell them, in perfect English, that I don't speak English

Not a word.

[Drahthaardogs]

16. Oooooo I like that

.

[phylny]

35. I switch to Spanish as soon as I hear the background

noise and realize what the call is.

"Hola."

"Can you speak English?"

"No, solamente hablo español."

Click.

Sometimes I play along for a bit, too.

"Oh, no! I have an Internet INFECTION? If only someone could help me!"

[tblue37]

44. But I am a virgin? How could I get such an infection? Is it true I could get it from a toilet seat?

Could I catch pregnancy from a toilet seat? Do you think I maybe caught pregnancy when my internet got infected?

[phylny]

55. Ha ha, very good :) n/t

[clarice]

24. Brilliant. nt

[Logical]

41. I kept one guy on the phone 20 minutes before he told me to fuck off. Nt

[lapislzi]

61. Tried that.

I was as dumb as dumb could be. Finally the guy got frustrated and called me "a very stupid woman." The calls stopped for awhile after that. Now I just block them as soon as I'm sure it's a scam (takes about a nanosecond after answering to determine this).

[DisgustipatedinCA]

17. I used to get those at work, from 011 International numbers.

I'm a network engineer by trade, so I'd always try to keep my soliloquy going as long as possible, haranguing them until they hung up on me, but trying to keep them on the line for sport anyway.

Try this:
Phone rings.
Siwsan: hello
Scammer: I need to check your copy of Windows because blah...
Siwsan: hang on just one second.
Go to your phone 4 minutes later--240 profit-losing seconds. Your problem will have cleared itself, at least for the moment.

[Siwsan]

18. I have done that, before!

I sat the phone down by the radio and gave them some muzak.

[kentauros]

45. I like that! Though I wouldn't use muzak.

I'd use this:

F3 Passby - Spa-Francorchamps (Formula Race Noise)
and set LOUD!

[d_r]

19. keep them talking as long as you can

make a game of it, frustrate them by wasting their time

[meaculpa2011]

20. I keep them on the line for...

as long as I can. When they give instructions I follow them to the letter, or so I say.

"Do you see the prompt screen?"

"No."

"Did you put in the right code?"

"I don't know. Give it to me again. No, still nothing."

"What kind of computer do you have?"

"A Commodore 64."

"What?"

On another call, after spending 15 minutes with a guy trying to sell me an extended car warranty I told him I had a 1927 Duesenberg.

If I have nothing else to do I get a kick out it.

[gratuitous]

21. This looks like something Congress could address

I realize they're taking up all their time with votes to "repeal" "Obamacare," but their approval ratings could double by passing legislation that would put a bite on these time-wasting assholes.

In the meantime, I just ask the caller for their full name and the proper name of their company. If they're uncooperative, I ask to speak to a supervisor. Then it's back to "I need your full name" question. The caller usually catches on by the second or third demand for their full name, and the call ends.

[lpbk2713]

22. I think he works with Rachel in Member Services.

Spending a lot of time and getting nowhere is what they worry about most. When I receive a nuisance call I ask them if they can hold on a minute and quietly put the phone down until I hear the "squealer" tone that tells me they have gotten tired of waiting and there is no one on the other end.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. I had those idiots going for at least 10 minutes once.

It was fun. I posted my adventure about a year ago - it went like this:

The phone rang and I made the mistake of picking it up because I was expecting a call, but there's this guy with a heavy Indian accent who tells my they have detected a problem with my Windows and they are calling to help me (we all know this scam, right?). Instead of hanging up I decided to have a little fun. It went about like this:

Me: "I don't understand why you are calling me about my windows. I just got new windows."

Scammer: "We are calling because there is a problem with your windows on your computer."

Me: "Which computer? I have three of them."

(long pause)

Scammer: (repeats) "You have a problem with the windows on your computer."

Me: "I have three of them, so which one? And anyhow, if there was a problem with my computers and my windows, that would be handled by Comcast because they manage my security system. They are hooked up to my windows."

Scammer: "There is a problem with the windows operating system on your computer."

Me: "But Comcast should handle that. There's nothing wrong with my windows."

Scammer: "There is a problem with the windows operating system on your computer."

Me: "But which computer? I have three computers."

Scammer: "Any of them. You need to turn on one of your computers."

Me: "OK, but I still don't understand what this has to do with my windows."

Scammer: "I will transfer you now to a supervisor."

(pause)

Scammer 2: "Hello, how are you today?"

Me: "Fine, but I still don't understand why there is a problem with my windows and my computers. Comcast handles my security system and they connect my windows to my computer."

Scammer 2: "There is a problem with the windows on your computer. Comcast is your internet service provider."

Me: "I keep trying to tell you, my computer doesn't have anything to do with my windows. My windows are fine, and Comcast handles the connection between my computer and my windows."

Scammer 2: "No, ma'am, it's your windows operating system. There is a problem with the windows operating system on your computer."

Me: "I'm still confused."

Scammer 2 (starting to sound exasperated): "You have a windows computer!"

Me: "No, I have an Apple computer."

Scammer 2: *click*

[Tracer]

58. That's the funniest post I've read in a long time!!!

I get those calls too, but if I can't hang up in time, I just say I've got a Mac (which I do).

How about the free cruise scams? I must have won 30 or more cruises to the Bahamas. And at least 4 SUVs and $20,000, for a "contest" that someone "entered" for me.

[csziggy]

27. I've been telling them that their warnings scared me so much I got rid of Windows

And now have an Apple or sometimes I tell them I put Linux on my computer. It varies as to what mood I'm in that day. Since they have already identified themselves as being Microsoft they can't do anything about my non-Microsoft operating systems.

They've been hanging up on me instead of the other way around.

[question everything]

28. And do you think that this helps?

Yes, the first time that a caller with an Indian accent called about "Windows" I politely told him that I am using a Mac.

But now I just hang up. As a matter of fact, I hang up on any call that does not specifically ask for a member of the family. I recognize the Rachel, or Carmen or whoever throaty "Allo," and I just hang up. Or if it is "Hello Senior!" Or "Start the celebration," etc.

Another recent spam and, I think, is aimed at seniors is "this is in reply to your recent inquiry." Or "this is Tim from the customer service dept." I once tried to ask which company and when "Tim" continued to talk, I recognize it as a spam. Then there was "John" from the shipping dept ready to ship "my order" - or whatever. I don't even wait for anyone to complete the sentence. And then there is the ominous call "Hello," pause, "this is the IRS" and, again, I hang up.

[Siwsan]

30. Obviously not because THEY JUST CALLED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sat the phone down next to the TV, during a crime show. With a murder. HAHAHAHA!!!

[Locrian]

31. play pink floyd

or any other music. really loud



I am just a new boy,
Stranger in this town.
Where are all the good times?
Who's gonna show this stranger around?
Ooooh, I need a dirty woman.
Ooooh, I need a dirty girl.

Will some cold woman in this desert land
Make me feel like a real man?
Take this rock and roll refugee
Oooh, baby set me free.

Ooooh, I need a dirty woman.
Ooooh, I need a dirty girl.

[Phone rings..Clink of receiver being lifted]
"Hello..?"
"Yes, a collect call for Mrs. Floyd from Mr. Floyd.
Will you accept the charges from United States?"
[clunk! of phone being put down]
"Oh, He hung up! That's your residence, right? I wonder why he hung up?
Is there supposed to be someone else there besides your wife there to answer?"
[Phone rings again...clunk of receiver being picked up]
"Hello?"
"This is United States calling, are we reaching...
[interrupted by phone being put down]
"See he keeps hanging up, and it's a man answering."
[whirr of connection being closed]

[Siwsan]

32. See my last post - they called AGAIN so I set the receiver by the TV during a crime show

Lots of gun shots, sirens, loud voices. Hopefully they will leave me alone, rather than alert the authorities that something murderous was going on in my house.

[Locrian]

49. hehe

you could put the phone next to some (cough) " adult" shows and give them an earful....

[Dalai_1]

33. I blocked their number n/t

[blue neen]

40. They change numbers as fast as you can block them.

Last week they were calling us from Seattle. This week it's Montreal.

[rurallib]

34. the one time I answered one of those I told them to hang on

My friend the sheriff was visiting and we had been talking about this just before he called.

[TeamPooka]

36. You answer the phone? You're adorable. nt

[fishwax]

37. I got a couple of those last week. I laughed and said: "Oh yeah, tell me more." He hung up and I

haven't heard from them again.

[Warren DeMontague]

38. Say "OH MY GOD THATS TERRIBLE YES LET ME GET ON MY COMPUTER SO YOU CAN HELP ME"

Then leave the phone off the hook, and go crank some motörhead.

[Snobblevitch]

39. My 80+ year old widowed father still has a landline..

(He has had the same cell phone number since 1997.)

He keeps his landline because it's bundled with his CATV, and internet. He setimes answers the landlind just to play games with the people caing and wanting money. He pretends he can't hear them and makes them repeat themselves. He then asks them personal questions, like where they are from, if they're married, children, etc. a lot of them hang up on him. Some play along because they find him interesting to talk to. I have heard my dad's side of a telephone conversation last for ten minutes and it was a wrong number.

Much of the time, when people call him and ask for money (political candidates and causes) he tells them to send him something in the mail, but he won't donate over the telephone. He does donate a lot of money in small amounts, that's why he gets a lot of calls.

[Blue_In_AK]

42. Do they call from New Jersey?

I'm constantly getting calls from different places in New Jersey on my land line, which I don't answer. It's annoying.

[Rex]

43. Have those folks call me sometimes, I always tell them my windows are fine.

No cracking or damage to the frame. I ask if they have taken the Pledge.

[Behind the Aegis]

46. I got one of those calls on my cell phone.

The thing was I was having problems with my computer, but thankfully, I have a husband and that is his area of expertise. I told them to call back because I was busy, but I could barely understand the person because of the think accent. Then, when they called back, I let it go to voicemail. They immediately called back, then called from a different number. They obviously didn't realize my voicemail picked up and I got a 5 minute message of people talking in Hindi (I think). I have since blocked the number, but I am curious about what was being said and may take to someone who speaks the language out of curiosity.

[kentauros]

48. "National Security Agency. How may I direct your call?"

[hollysmom]

51. I understand, I used to get those calls several times a day

I decided I was on some sort of suckers list and nothing would stop them even the whistle I blew in the phone. So I got norobocall. I do not get those calls anymore,but everyone trying to reach me gets through/

[rjsquirrel]

52. Dump your land line

Seriously, only old people stil have land lines out of habit. Phone scammers know this (and pollsters too). They target their scams toward the elderly, and this is one of those.


Caller ID or answering machine screen them and the. DO NOT ANSWER. Say nothing. Curses, reasons they are wasting their time, none of that discourages them because they are getting a response.

But seriously consider getting rid of the land line.

[Siwsan]

54. Land line is going - I kept it because my Mom and Aunt could remember the number

2015 kind of spiraled out of control, for me. Between elderly family members, Hospice, hospitals, doctor offices and assisted living centers, I needed to cover a lot of scenarios and needs.

But fresh starts, now

[all american girl]

53. I live in Belgium and I get those calls

For awhile I was getting about 3-4 a day. I just hang up on them.

[davepc]

56. I swear by this service, it works, it's free.

https://www.nomorobo.com/

[randome]

57. Damn! It isn't available for T-Mobile.

Good info, though.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]A ton of bricks, a ton of feathers, it's still gonna hurt.[/center][/font][hr]

[annabanana]

59. When I'm bored, I play with them.

I figure if they're tied up with me, they aren't bothering someone else who might be more prone to fall for it...

I feign hearing problems and make them repeat it as many times as possible (I'm up to seven times before they give up)
I get "confused" and make them explain that they're not talking about my phone, my tv, my microwave etc..

You have to find your amusement where you can in this world.

[Siwsan]

60. I'm beginning to realize that they don't take the 'Do Not Call' registration seriously

Once they hit that script and take off verbally running, it's hard to get them to stop and listen to my informing them that I'm on the list and WILL report them. More often than not I have to resort to my old South Philadelphia experience and hit them with a series of sharp and loud 'Yo!!! Yo!!! Yo!!!'s to get them to take a breath. Then, inevitably, they offer to put me on THEIR 'Do Not Call' list!?!?!?!?

I'm on a whole lot of those lists.

[REP]

62. My mother loved getting those calls.

She'd either meticulously spell out FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER as her password or other ID, or transfer the call to whichever Federal office that deals with fraud.

I got one call from someone claiming to be the IRS (it wasn't). I told the person on the other end that he'd really screwed up and had called an actual IRS employee (I'm not) and boy did he hang up fast.

[GeorgeGist]

64. I've found air horns to be effective.