Trump’s Plan to Randomly Shoot People Lacks Details, Random Shooters Say / Borowitz/ satire

[Mira]

SIOUX CITY, Iowa (The Borowitz Report)—One day after Donald Trump claimed that he could shoot people on New York’s Fifth Avenue and not lose support, a leading member of the random-shooting community complained that the billionaire’s random-shooting plan lacks specifics.

Harland Dorrinson, who heads the largest association of random shooters in the nation, said that Trump’s Fifth Avenue plan “lacked many of the key ingredients necessary for a credible random shooting.”

"There’s no weapons cache, no twisted manifesto to be found later by authorities,” Dorrinson said. “To anyone in the random-shooting world, Trump’s plan fails on so many levels.”
Moreover, he said, Trump has not put in the many years of solitary seething that most random shooters deem mandatory.

“Before you do a random shooting, you’re supposed to be quiet and keep to yourself,” he said. “Trump is always shouting at thousands of people.”

Dorrinson added that although many random shooters have been in the Trump camp thus far, the candidate’s vague random-shooting “plan” is now giving them pause.

“Donald Trump made it sound like a random shooting is just the easiest thing in the world,” he said. “At the end of the day, random shooters find that hurtful.”

www.borowitzreport.com

[Laura PourMeADrink]

1. I know, people are making a huge deal about this - they are

actually talking about it on tv right now.

I just have to say - this is totally crazy in my opinion

It was just an expression !!!

He didn't mean:
1. He was going to shoot anyone
2. He's trying to get gun voters

Geesh !! Know the guy's crazy - but come on.....Dissecting every word someone says is just idiotic.

[Mira]

3. Ordinarily I agree with you but there is nothing ordinary here

he is dangerous, appealing to the Dangerous, and his words need to be dissected when he is so callously running his mouth.
The reason he even made it this far is because the Republicans let others of their ilk get away with too much horrible and unaccounted for retoric, and his candidacy in my opinion is the culmination of that and makes them collapse under their own weight.
At least I'm laying in extra popcorn to keep watching.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

5. I hear ya. But..still I think most of it is just commonplace street talk

especially in the Northeast (grew up there) Geez - being around construction
sites in NYC this is probably tame and just rolls off his tongue without thinking.
His main problem - speaks before he thinks. As a billionaire he probably never heard "can't believe you said that" and therefore never got admonished.

[Paladin]

7. Even if all that's true? Fuck him for the crass, thoughtless punk he is. (nt)

[Electric Monk]

2. k&r

[lumberjack_jeff]

4. Also, none of his neighbors would react with surprise. n/t

[Mc Mike]

6. Borowitz is a scream. Recced. Thanks. nt.