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Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:18 PM

Do you have a doctor that you can trust with your life?

Lot of people do not understand how important it is to be established with a doctor that you can trust this well.

Let me give you an example.

My daughter has been real sick for going on three weeks. After several visits to a doctor and his associate who my daughter was not established with and after three trips to the emergency room they just found out today she has pneumonia. That should have been found the first visit to her doctor. He should have ordered a chest x-ray and diagnosed her three weeks ago. But he didn't.

Now how the hell could that happen in 2012?

Well obviously she has a medical doctor who would be better suited to working at digging ditches. She just didn't know that until now because she has always felt pretty good so she didn't see the need to find a doctor who she could really trust and develop a close trusting relationship with like I do.

I have had two doctors in my life who I felt I could trust with my life. The first one was really old is dead now. But the second one is about my age so hopefully this one will outlive me. Because I never have had any doubt that this current doctor was always looking out for my best interests. If that wasn't the case I would have found another doctor who I could trust.

Got to have that. I can't stress this enough. Because one of these days the chances are you are going to need a doctor who you can completely trust. And without having that your pretty much screwed.

Just a little advice for those who haven't considered this. Better do it now before you find yourself in deep stuff some day. Don't wait until the chips are down to find out your doctor is an idiot. That could be fatal.

Don


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Arrow 38 replies Author Time Post
Reply Do you have a doctor that you can trust with your life? (Original post)
NNN0LHI Jun 2012 OP
dkf Jun 2012 #1
NNN0LHI Jun 2012 #2
dkf Jun 2012 #9
NNN0LHI Jun 2012 #11
dkf Jun 2012 #31
undeterred Jun 2012 #3
NNN0LHI Jun 2012 #8
Rhiannon12866 Jun 2012 #32
Arkansas Granny Jun 2012 #4
RagAss Jun 2012 #5
EFerrari Jun 2012 #6
bemildred Jun 2012 #35
Gidney N Cloyd Jun 2012 #7
NNN0LHI Jun 2012 #10
CTyankee Jun 2012 #34
cloudbase Jun 2012 #12
tammywammy Jun 2012 #13
DLevine Jun 2012 #14
longship Jun 2012 #22
FarCenter Jun 2012 #15
1-Old-Man Jun 2012 #16
Rhiannon12866 Jun 2012 #33
slackmaster Jun 2012 #17
a la izquierda Jun 2012 #18
NNN0LHI Jun 2012 #19
drlindaphd Jun 2012 #20
sorefeet Jun 2012 #21
femmocrat Jun 2012 #23
CTyankee Jun 2012 #24
femmocrat Jun 2012 #26
CTyankee Jun 2012 #27
crunch60 Jun 2012 #30
socialist_n_TN Jun 2012 #25
CaliforniaPeggy Jun 2012 #28
Major Nikon Jun 2012 #29
BlueIris Jun 2012 #36
Tracer Jun 2012 #37
Amerigo Vespucci Jun 2012 #38

Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:23 PM

1. Doesn't say much for the emergency rooms either.

 

Sounds like she saw 5 professionals who misdiagnosed her? Isn't that an indictment of the whole system?

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Response to dkf (Reply #1)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:26 PM

2. Emergency rooms are only going to do what the doctors order

I don't blame the ER for this.

Don

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Response to NNN0LHI (Reply #2)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:35 PM

9. Huh? Don't the ERs have their own docs?

 

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Response to dkf (Reply #9)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:44 PM

11. Sure they do

But in my experience they aren't going to do anything more than stabilize a patient without checking with the persons primary physician and getting an order from him first.

Don

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Response to NNN0LHI (Reply #11)

Sun Jun 3, 2012, 06:12 AM

31. Odd...in my experience the primary is barely notified.

 

Maybe because my uncle's doctor is with Kaiser and the closest ER was a non-Kaiser hospital, but because his primary doesn't have privileges to practice there she can't even visit much less give any instructions.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:30 PM

3. Yes, but I don't have health insurance.

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Response to undeterred (Reply #3)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:34 PM

8. Our health insurance has never covered office visits

But I didn't let that stop me from developing a good working relationship with a doctor because I knew how important that was.

Don

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Response to undeterred (Reply #3)

Sun Jun 3, 2012, 06:35 AM

32. I don't either, but my doctor gives a discount for cash for office visits.

So I'm sure I'm not alone in this. Unfortunately, it's gone up, but fortunately I haven't required more than a few office visits since I lost my insurance in 2007.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:31 PM

4. It's also important to consider getting a second opinion if the diagnosis doesn't sound right.

A co-worker took his wife to the ER a couple of weeks ago. She is 67 yo and had been running a low grade fever for a couple of days that suddenly went higher. The doctor that saw her said that there was nothing he could do, she was dehydrated and her organs were shutting down and it would just be a matter of hours before she died. They would make her comfortable and wait for the end.

My friend was just reeling. He had no idea that she was that sick. A little while later, another doctor examined her, said it was a urinary tract infection and started an IV and antibiotics. She spent a couple of days in ICU, but is home recovering now.

If the second doctor hadn't checked her out, my friend could have been making burial arrangements for his partner of a lifetime.

Don't hesitate to ask for a second opinion. Your life could depend on it.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:31 PM

5. No.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:32 PM

6. No. Haven't had a doctor since 1994 or so.

My mom's doctor retired and she's in the hands of really mediocre clinics. It's not a pretty picture.

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Response to EFerrari (Reply #6)

Sun Jun 3, 2012, 10:10 AM

35. Ditto that, not since 1998.

They all look like self-important airheads to me. I treat them like mechanics, they say something stupid or annoying and they are gone. The idea of "trust" in such people is what scares me.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:34 PM

7. My primary is quite competant but my comfort level has never been high.

I avoided going to a doctor for about 15 years (mid-30's through 40's) and finally went when enough of the people around me looked at a mole on my face and told me 'uh, I'd have that looked at.' Turned out to be nothing but they did find my BP was sky-high and now I have to check in pretty regularly.
As for my comfort level, I just feel like I have to be a little pushy about what kind of treatment I'll deal with (like, I'd rather talk about dietary changes than to start another pill). I think he's genuinely interested in my health but I don't always feel like he wants me to be an equal player in making the care choices.

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Response to Gidney N Cloyd (Reply #7)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:41 PM

10. I never had an "equal player", type of relationship with a doctor either

Was never even looking for that type of relationship. Just wanted one that I knew I could trust with my life if it ever came down to that.

After all, he is the doctor. I am only a factory worker and in no position to be second guessing an MD.

That is why I feel it is so important to have to have one I can trust before I really need one.

Don

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Response to NNN0LHI (Reply #10)

Sun Jun 3, 2012, 10:06 AM

34. I had one time in my recent experience of being put thru the wringer by doctors...

everything is pretty much ok now but I had docs with the best reputation in my area who could be pretty high handed (because they were "right". I was put thru some procedures, tests, exams that were invasive and downright uncomfortable/painful and had either been uninformed beforehand that they might be hard to take OR where I was told they were "no problem" or "we've never had any complaints." I have learned not grin and bear it, but complain and I do mean LOUDLY about the way I am treated if it is shabby. I wish that weren't case. Sadly, it is.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:46 PM

12. I do.

I not only trust him with my life, we've also discussed some end of life scenarios, and have an understanding where I'll also trust him with my death.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:47 PM

13. Yes n/t

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 03:49 PM

14. Having any kind of doctor is a luxury I cannot afford.

Thankfully, I have no dependants. Only kittehs.

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Response to DLevine (Reply #14)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 05:45 PM

22. Me, too!

It's a sad situation.

But there is nothing I can do for it. I turn 64 next month and my health isn't great. I do what I can do and I don't complain. But it is not a good situation. I have no options other than keeping on.

If only Obama had gone for single-payer.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 04:00 PM

15. A colleague nearly died from pneumonia. It is still a deadly disease

 

What is pneumonia?

Pneumonia is an infection of one or both lungs which is usually caused by bacteria, viruses, or fungi. Prior to the discovery of antibiotics, one-third of all people who developed pneumonia subsequently died from the infection. Currently, over 3 million people develop pneumonia each year in the United States. Over a half a million of these people are admitted to a hospital for treatment. Although most of these people recover, approximately 5% will die from pneumonia. Pneumonia is the sixth leading cause of death in the United States.


500,000 x 0.05 = 25,000 deaths per year.

Pneumonia is a severe infection of the lung, but it can be caused by a variety of bacteria, viruses, and fungi. My colleague had one of the rarer forms, and it was somewhat drug resistant.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 04:03 PM

16. Yes, three of them in fact

and in the last year each of them has had a hand in me being alive today.

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Response to 1-Old-Man (Reply #16)

Sun Jun 3, 2012, 06:42 AM

33. Sounds like you've found the right medical care.

When I wasn't happy with the care I was getting locally, I ended up going to Boston. I'm fortunate that I'm okay today, but it took three surgeries. I don't know how I'd be today if I hadn't done that.

Welcome to DU, 1-Old-Man! It's great to have you with us!

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 04:03 PM

17. I believe I do

 

But I had to fire one last year. She did serious harm to my health, and it could have been prevented if she had LISTENED to me.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 04:06 PM

18. I did, until I moved.

Then I got a doctor who wouldn't prescribe me meds I need, so I've been doc-hopping ever since.

Good luck with your daughter. I hope she gets better right quick.

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Response to a la izquierda (Reply #18)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 04:15 PM

19. Thank you very much for the good wishes for my daughter

Hope you find an MD you can completely trust as I did soon.

My current doctor is an internist and appears to really know his stuff. And a great guy on top of that. He always spends plenty of time with me checking things and asking pertinent questions for someone my age. He specializes in geriatric patients. I almost feel like I have had a complete physical whenever I leave his office.

Feel like I got real fortunate finding him.

Don

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 04:18 PM

20. I am very fortunte

I have several doctors that I have actually trusted with my life. They have saved my life several times. My Internist, saved me from Staph Sepsis pneumonia, among other illnesses and my Neurosurgeon saved me from a life threatening injury to my cervical spine and a traumatic brain injury. In the past, my former Gynecologist performed life saving surgery when I was hemorrhaging. Unfortunately he is no longer in practice.

I even found an ER doc who was compassionate and competent. Unfortunately he left that particular job.

There are other doctors in my life who I would entrust with my life. They have participated in my care, but have never been put to the test.

I agree that finding competent, caring professionals is essential and difficult. I am a Clinical Psychologist and a Health Psychologist. My dissertation was on a related topic. I see many people who have this very problem and who have suffered at the hands of incompetent, greedy, uncaring, untrustworthy doctors.

This problem seems to be growing. Do yourself a big favor and interview doctors until you find one that is trustworthy, competent, and caring. Your life may depend on it.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 05:12 PM

21. Nope

I do not trust doctors at all. I had a doc who I DID trust with my life, for 4 years he wrote me scrips for opiates. He knew and agreed that I smoke marijuana for my neuropathy. When the DEA sent out a memo to ALL the doctors in this area that marijuana users would not be tolorated. Put the fear in them. They kicked me and hundreds of others off the pain treatment program, COLD TURKEY. It's called abandonment and it is a crime. Went to the next doctor and she said "if I don't do what the DEA tells me the will take my license away to write prescriptions." Went to the next doctor and had a heated argument. I got one now who will write prescriptions but I don't trust him no further that I could throw him and I told him that.
All my doctors are PUPPETS for a pay check thats all. This one now kept pushing on my chest and kept sayin, "oh, now what is this, oh, you know, it's the uhhh, I said ya mean the sternum?? He say YEAH thats it the sternum. And he had the totally wrong diagnosis.
So, NO, I don't trust a doctor. Most are just puppets in it for the paycheck. The oath says to do no harm OR injustice I beleive.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 07:21 PM

23. We have a great PCP. We've gone to him for about 20 years.

He is very thorough. We are fortunate to have a "cadillac" health care plan through my employer. I don't know what happens when I retire though... will Medicare provide coverage as good as what I have now?

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Response to femmocrat (Reply #23)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 07:34 PM

24. You will have to get a plan that covers what Medicare doesn't.

We have it through AARP, which is a nonprofit organization. It is cheaper than the other plans that are for profit, obviously. Everybody's needs are different, of course. I'm glad we got a more expensive plan with AARP because my husband needed 3 weeks of intensive in patient rehab that was expensive even at the 80/20 rate. The 20% daily charge would have been around $140! Yikes!

It depends on indivudaly circumstances, of course. You may not have the same thing we had to face, which was a recovering spinal surgery patient needing additional intensive physical therapy since he could not even get down the stairs from the bedroom every day for meals! I was frantic, trying to care for a man who weighed 250 lbs (needing physical support) and I weighed 100 lbs less! Kind of a bad situation...

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Response to CTyankee (Reply #24)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 08:29 PM

26. Thanks, CTyankee.

I really have to start looking into all of this.... but it is kinda scary!

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Response to femmocrat (Reply #26)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 08:36 PM

27. I know, we had to face this too! It's hard but you get through it. Do look into AARP, tho...

They are pretty user friendly. I'm so glad we got that plan thru them. The first week of hubby's rehab was worth what he had already paid in, thru monthly payments! It told me that you never know what extras will cost you (if you are not on Medicaid). He had chosen to get 100% coverage and it sure did pay off...

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Response to femmocrat (Reply #23)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 08:55 PM

30. No, Medicare alone is not sufficient coverage.

 

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 07:37 PM

25. Yep. But she's a Nurse Practitioner...........

I've actually been pretty lucky with doctors though. I had a ruptured appendix a little over three years ago and I lived through it. Emergency surgery and five days in the hospital. Plus my wife has had breast cancer and recently gall bladder surgery. All of the doctors we've seen (along with the nurses and support staff) have been excellent.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 08:41 PM

28. I have been extremely lucky with my doctors.

They're all competent and very caring.

I do trust my cardiologist with my life. He knows how to listen, and he cares. He goes the extra mile for me.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sat Jun 2, 2012, 08:49 PM

29. And not just your doctor, but your insurance company too

Back in the heyday of HMOs, my wife and I decided to switch to one because our family doctor was already on the plan.

Later on I injured my ankle in a cycling accident. I had to go to the HMO's referred orthopedic surgeon (who was a hand specialist). 4 hours into what was supposed to be a 30 minute laprascopic sulaparoscopic surgery, the doctor calls it quits and leaves without even telling me how the surgery went. Two weeks later he tells me he couldn't get into my ankle joint and will need to saw through the bone to expose the joint. Needless to say I never went back to him again. I hobbled around with a cane for a few months until we could change the insurance plan, then I went to a better surgeon who fixed my ankle with a 30 minute laparoscopic surgery.

I'm just glad it wasn't my heart or something else more serious.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sun Jun 3, 2012, 10:12 AM

36. Nope. nt

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sun Jun 3, 2012, 10:15 AM

37. Yes, and not just one.

A few years ago, I had no insurance (couldn't afford it) and no doctor.

But worrisome symptoms led me to look through the yellow pages for a doctor (the yellow pages, for pete's sake!)

By an enormous stroke of good luck, that doctor turned out to be fantastic, and when his part was over he sent me to another wonderful guy (a true saint), who sent me in turn, to one of Boston's best surgeons.

Between the 3 of them, they have saved my life 3 times.

(Thank you Docs -- you are the best!).

P.S. I'm on Medicare now plus supplemental insurance.

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Response to NNN0LHI (Original post)

Sun Jun 3, 2012, 10:18 AM

38. No

I thought I was having a heart attack last year. I have "panic / anxiety" attacks all the time. I know what they feel like. This was like one of those on steroids. I seriously thought i was going to die right in the middle of Lincoln Avenue in San Jose.

I called my doctor's office, and after quizzing me down about my medical benefits and ability to pay for an office visit, they decided to offer a referral to a heart specialist instead. Great idea! I can't afford a visit to the family doctor, but a visit to a frigging heart specialist shouldn't cost more...right?



The tone of the call was basically "Sucks to be you...good luck!"

I thought about going to the emergency room but found a spot in the shade and calmed myself down until the symptoms went away. I posted the whole thing on DU when it happened.

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