UPS calls Donald Trump

[HassleCat]

Hello, Mr. Trump. It’s a pleasure to serve you, sir. I understand you have a package.

It’s a big package? Huge, you say? Well, we can handle packages of almost any size.

What’s that, sir? Oh. When I say “handle,” I just mean we are able to accommodate large packages.

By “accommodate,” sir, I mean we can send your package from one place to another, even if it’s big.

Well, yes, sir. You know our motto. We run the tightest ship in the shipping industry.

Oh, no, sir. Not uncomfortably tight. Just snug. You know, firm.

Firm, sir, not hard.

Yes, sir. We’ll be by in about an hour and grab that package.

Yes, of course, Mr. Trump. I mean we’ll pick it up.