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Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:27 PM

Christian ‘prophet’ loses his buttocks to a hungry lion while trying to prove God would save him



Alec Ndiwane was filled with the Holy Spirit when he decided to “challenge” lions at the Kruger National Park.

The Zion Christian Church Prophet was at the park with his fellow church members when, according to GhanaWeb, he went into a trance and began speaking in tongues. The group approached the pride of lions while they munched happily on an antelope, but that’s when Ndiwane ran toward the lions.

Out To Africa lists humans as the major predator to lions, so it’s no surprise that the lions took on the challenge. Once he realized what was happening, Ndiwane made an about-face and immediately ran away. Unfortunately, lions are fast and fierce animals and when one of the lions snapped her paws on him, Ndiwane sustained injuries to his buttocks.

The ranger fired his gun into the air to scare the lions off and rush the prophet to the hospital where he underwent emergency surgery to ensure he didn’t lose a majority of his buttocks.

“I do not know what came over me,” Ndiwane confessed. “I thought the Lord wanted to use me to show his power over animals. Is it not we were given dominion over all creatures of the earth.” He was eventually stitched up and discharged after spending the night in hospital.

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/03/christian-prophet-loses-his-buttocks-to-a-hungry-lion-while-trying-to-prove-god-would-save-him/comments/

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Arrow 23 replies Author Time Post
Reply Christian ‘prophet’ loses his buttocks to a hungry lion while trying to prove God would save him (Original post)
MrScorpio Mar 2016 OP
KamaAina Mar 2016 #1
valerief Mar 2016 #3
Hortensis Mar 2016 #12
TexasMommaWithAHat Mar 2016 #2
agracie Mar 2016 #5
Wilms Mar 2016 #4
nichomachus Mar 2016 #6
jberryhill Mar 2016 #7
eShirl Mar 2016 #8
stage left Mar 2016 #9
Journeyman Mar 2016 #10
Fla Dem Mar 2016 #11
mindwalker_i Mar 2016 #13
Person 2713 Mar 2016 #14
whatthehey Mar 2016 #15
felix_numinous Mar 2016 #16
Fairgo Mar 2016 #17
lindysalsagal Mar 2016 #21
Daemonaquila Mar 2016 #18
Initech Mar 2016 #19
VOX Mar 2016 #20
lindysalsagal Mar 2016 #22
lindysalsagal Mar 2016 #23

Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:28 PM

1. What an ass.

 

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Response to KamaAina (Reply #1)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:30 PM

3. Ha!

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Response to KamaAina (Reply #1)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 04:05 PM

12. As the lions must have been thinking.



This guy's later comments suggest he's technically competent to make his own decisions, contrary to my first thought. Another example of the danger of believing whatever feels good.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:30 PM

2. Dumb ass.

nt

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Response to TexasMommaWithAHat (Reply #2)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:37 PM

5. Sounds like he's half-assed now.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:32 PM

4. He'll watch his ass next time.

 

You betcha.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:43 PM

6. Let's settle this once and for all

The bible says that if you have lots and lots of faith, you can handle snakes, drink poison, and apparently, play tag with lions.

But the bible also says that if you have a teeny weeny, itsy bitsy amount of faith, you can move mountains.

So, why not start with the mountains first. If you find out that you can actually move a mountain using just your faith, then maybe you can upgrade to handling snakes, or poison, or lions.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:44 PM

7. “I do not know what came over me,”



That really sucks when your ass is all torn up and you don't know what came on you.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:45 PM

8. "Is it not we were given dominion over all creatures of the earth"

Apparently not.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:48 PM

9. I'll bet he has his ass

in a sling. smh

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 03:49 PM

10. Christ himself told Satan man cannot test God, that worship is an article of faith not certainty...

so Ndiwane getting his ass handed to him by the lion is a just verdict against a fool who doesn't understand his own professed beliefs.

(And my opinion, I must add, is that of a disinterested agnostic. I wouldn't challenge a pride based solely on my respect for their power, not on some perceived sense of protection from an unseen force.)

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 04:03 PM

11. Too bad it wasn't his genitals so he couldn't reproduce. nt

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 04:05 PM

13. God threw him out on his ass

He definitly seems to my missed the big crack in his theory.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 04:11 PM

14. Why why would God give dominion over all creatures of the earth to you prophet?

You can not even keep your own ass

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 04:12 PM

15. Now there's a deeply held belief worth respecting

Not his wisdom or even common sense; pretty low marks there. But his faith is obviously genuine. He's taking the direct biblical promise of the security of faith seriously and acting on it. Compared to him, most Christians have more sense but far less of the faith they claim to possess.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 04:31 PM

16. Faith didn't help the Christians in the Roman Colosseum

but don't let that stop you.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 04:33 PM

17. And God spoke to tbe Lions

behold! I will this day deliver a christian idiot unto thine plate, as thou are pleasant in my sight. And of this christian thou shall eat, but only of the buttock. When thou hast eaten of the buttock, return unto your pride and say, "I have eaten of the ass of christians and I say unto you, it is good...it tastes like chicken." So Sayth the Lord thy God, Mittens the Merciful.

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Response to Fairgo (Reply #17)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 06:00 PM

21. Wiping away the tears...

Stop it!!!!!

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 04:35 PM

18. A half-assed attempt at a Darwin Award?

 

Pity he didn't succeed.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 04:40 PM

19. "Oh yeah? Well bite my................. oh no!!!!!"

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 05:35 PM

20. He won't be so cheeky next time...

Or ever again...

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 06:01 PM

22. Tithing the hard way.

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Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Thu Mar 10, 2016, 06:02 PM

23. He was just "turning the other cheek."

It's just too easy....

I'll be here all week!

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