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Thu Mar 31, 2016, 01:50 PM

Trial Update

ďIt seems to be so very hard to maintain detachment of mind in the midst of raging fire.Ē
-- Gandhi


On Monday, my cousin met with the District Attorney who will prosecute the person who shot him and his son. This included hearing about -- and seeing photographs documenting -- the extent of his sonís injuries. An off-duty law enforcement officer who was enraged by the young manís obeying the speed limit shot both of my relatives. My cousin held his son in his arms as the young man died. Then, although seriously wounded from being shot, my cousin got up and wrote the murdererís plate number in the dirt on their jeepís back window, before collapsing.

On Tuesday, my cousin and I attended a pre-trial hearing regarding what evidence may or may not be allowed in. For example, when the police eventually went to the murdererís house, to retrieve a large arsenal of weapons, the guy had a poster featuring a picture of a hand gun, with the words, ďWe Donít Call 911.Ē The DA believes that shows the defendantís general state of mind; the defense attorney calls it prejudicial.

The actual trial starts next Monday. Since it is a non-jury trial (at the murdererís request), it should only take three days. It will be good to get the trial behind us. Of course, he will appeal his conviction, and the process will continue. There is never true closure.

It is very painful for my cousin to see autopsy pictures, or to sit in the same courtroom with this obscenely smug thug. He seems to consider the numerous officers with rifles, guarding him as he is brought to the court, and the many officers on duty inside the court, as his personal honor guard. This, despite the fact that they treat him exactly the same as they do any other accused murderer.

Yesterday, while I was away attending a medical appointment, another of my cousins came and prepared for a sweat lodge ceremony. He used 48 cobbles -- 36 of white quartz, and 12 of black flint. Although he is from the other side of my extended family, he knows my cousin and son who were shot. Heíll be attending the trial with us next week. He knew that Iíd benefit from ceremony

Between now and Monday morning, I will be focused upon preparing for the trial. Iíll spend time with my cousin. Iíll talk with others about preparing victimsí impact statements. Iíll pick up my youngest daughter, as her professors are all very supportive of her missing class to attend the trial. And I will spend some time alone, out at my pond, with its large fire-pit, and the lodge nearby.

Iíll feed the fish and the birds, and begin gathering firewood for the next ceremony. There are already enough stones to do a couple sweats after the trial ends.

(Note: Next week, Iíll try my best to post daily updates, with links to local media sources, etc. I really appreciate all of the support that community members here have provided for my family and myself, throughout this ordeal.)

129 replies, 10022 views

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Arrow 129 replies Author Time Post
Reply Trial Update (Original post)
H2O Man Mar 2016 OP
CaliforniaPeggy Mar 2016 #1
H2O Man Mar 2016 #14
Hekate Mar 2016 #31
NV Whino Mar 2016 #2
H2O Man Mar 2016 #15
Sissyk Mar 2016 #3
H2O Man Mar 2016 #17
tk2kewl Mar 2016 #4
H2O Man Mar 2016 #18
Omaha Steve Mar 2016 #5
H2O Man Mar 2016 #19
NBachers Mar 2016 #6
H2O Man Mar 2016 #24
Ilsa Mar 2016 #7
H2O Man Mar 2016 #26
Old Codger Mar 2016 #8
H2O Man Mar 2016 #38
Old Codger Mar 2016 #40
H2O Man Mar 2016 #45
Old Codger Mar 2016 #53
renate Mar 2016 #58
denbot Mar 2016 #9
H2O Man Mar 2016 #39
sadoldgirl Mar 2016 #10
H2O Man Mar 2016 #46
ProfessorGAC Mar 2016 #11
H2O Man Mar 2016 #47
Jemmons Mar 2016 #12
H2O Man Mar 2016 #48
passiveporcupine Mar 2016 #13
H2O Man Mar 2016 #49
navarth Mar 2016 #16
H2O Man Mar 2016 #50
malthaussen Mar 2016 #20
H2O Man Mar 2016 #51
d_legendary1 Mar 2016 #21
H2O Man Apr 2016 #71
panader0 Mar 2016 #22
H2O Man Apr 2016 #72
blackspade Mar 2016 #23
H2O Man Apr 2016 #73
blackspade Apr 2016 #75
GardeningGal Mar 2016 #25
H2O Man Apr 2016 #74
1StrongBlackMan Mar 2016 #27
H2O Man Apr 2016 #76
11 Bravo Mar 2016 #28
H2O Man Apr 2016 #78
Dont call me Shirley Mar 2016 #29
H2O Man Apr 2016 #79
Dont call me Shirley Apr 2016 #91
Hekate Mar 2016 #30
H2O Man Apr 2016 #81
Liberal Jesus Freak Mar 2016 #32
H2O Man Apr 2016 #82
Scuba Mar 2016 #33
H2O Man Apr 2016 #83
Phentex Mar 2016 #34
H2O Man Apr 2016 #84
Wilms Mar 2016 #35
H2O Man Apr 2016 #85
druidity33 Mar 2016 #36
H2O Man Apr 2016 #86
spanone Mar 2016 #37
H2O Man Apr 2016 #88
AllyCat Mar 2016 #41
H2O Man Apr 2016 #93
rug Mar 2016 #42
H2O Man Apr 2016 #94
rosesaylavee Mar 2016 #43
H2O Man Apr 2016 #95
tblue37 Mar 2016 #44
H2O Man Apr 2016 #96
NBachers Mar 2016 #52
H2O Man Apr 2016 #97
KT2000 Mar 2016 #54
H2O Man Apr 2016 #98
msanthrope Mar 2016 #55
H2O Man Apr 2016 #99
msanthrope Apr 2016 #118
ms liberty Mar 2016 #56
H2O Man Apr 2016 #100
shireen Mar 2016 #57
H2O Man Apr 2016 #101
woofless Mar 2016 #59
H2O Man Apr 2016 #102
Richard D Mar 2016 #60
H2O Man Apr 2016 #103
Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2016 #61
H2O Man Apr 2016 #104
Spitfire of ATJ Apr 2016 #115
davidpdx Apr 2016 #62
H2O Man Apr 2016 #105
hopemountain Apr 2016 #63
H2O Man Apr 2016 #106
hopemountain Apr 2016 #117
LittleGirl Apr 2016 #64
H2O Man Apr 2016 #107
malaise Apr 2016 #65
H2O Man Apr 2016 #108
marble falls Apr 2016 #66
H2O Man Apr 2016 #110
Borchkins Apr 2016 #67
H2O Man Apr 2016 #112
kag Apr 2016 #68
H2O Man Apr 2016 #113
JackInGreen Apr 2016 #69
H2O Man Apr 2016 #114
catbyte Apr 2016 #70
H2O Man Apr 2016 #119
polly7 Apr 2016 #77
H2O Man Apr 2016 #120
2naSalit Apr 2016 #80
H2O Man Apr 2016 #121
felix_numinous Apr 2016 #87
H2O Man Apr 2016 #122
Melissa G Apr 2016 #89
H2O Man Apr 2016 #123
Lifelong Protester Apr 2016 #90
H2O Man Apr 2016 #124
Sensitive soul Apr 2016 #92
H2O Man Apr 2016 #125
nadinbrzezinski Apr 2016 #109
H2O Man Apr 2016 #126
Kali Apr 2016 #111
H2O Man Apr 2016 #127
GoddessOfGuinness Apr 2016 #116
H2O Man Apr 2016 #128
islandmkl Apr 2016 #129

Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 01:55 PM

1. I am so glad to see you posting this, my dear H20 Man...

I've been wondering what's happening, and now I know.

I can really feel your stress at all of this; I feel it too, just reading your eloquent words.

You and your family are all in my thoughts as the trial approaches.

May you all be well.

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Reply #1)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:26 PM

14. Thanks, Peggy.

Indeed, it is difficult for me to talk about this still. Usually, my problem is the lack of an ability to stop talking! (grin) But I struggle to construct even a single sentence on this.

I normally like to respond to everyone that posts on one of my OPs. But I find it harder on this topic .....even though I am more thankful to those who are so kind and supportive. I hope that it doesn't come across as my being rude. It's not.

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #14)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 04:41 PM

31. Do only what you can. Your friends understand, and appreciate the updates.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 01:57 PM

2. Thanks for keeping us updated

I wish you and your family well.

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Response to NV Whino (Reply #2)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:26 PM

15. Thank you.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 01:57 PM

3. Thank you for keeping us informed, H20 Man!

We will be with you next week in spirit; and, I'm sure you are a solid rock to your cousin and family.

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Response to Sissyk (Reply #3)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:35 PM

17. Thanks!

I'm thinking that writing about it here after sitting in the trial will help me deal with it. As flawed as it may be, I know our justice system can, and frequently does, work. Still, it's hard for me to sit and look at this creep. He attacked the two most mellow, laid-back guys I know. Neither my cousin or his son had ever been involved in a fight, and had absolutely no interest in fighting. More, the young man had pulled over and let the guy go by. But he was in the mood to kill.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 01:58 PM

4. i will keep you and your family in my thoughts

 

peace my friend

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Response to tk2kewl (Reply #4)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:37 PM

18. Thanks, Friend.

Much appreciated.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 02:10 PM

5. Thanks for posting


K&R!

OS

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Response to Omaha Steve (Reply #5)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:37 PM

19. Thanks, Steve

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 02:16 PM

6. Thank you for your update, H2O Man. I will be watching

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Response to NBachers (Reply #6)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:50 PM

24. Thanks!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 02:23 PM

7. Thank you for keeping us up to date.

I'm hoping the judge locks him away forever, if not deliver a death penalty. This murderer sounds very dangerous, and getting away with it once would only energize him to do it again.

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Response to Ilsa (Reply #7)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 04:08 PM

26. Thanks.

I believe the creep will spend the remainder of his life in an isolated part of one of our state prisons. He's a retired NYC police officer, who was employed as a part-time guard at the county jail he now resides in. He has an unhealthy authoritarian disposition, and I do not think that "general population" would be a safe option for him once he moves to the big house. He's been kept on an isolated wing at county jail, for his own safety.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 02:27 PM

8. For those of us

 

Who have never gone through an ordeal such as this I really appreciate the updates, I hope that it does not cause you undue pain to do this. Unless someone has undergone such an experience it is pretty much impossible to really understand and get into the depth of feeling involved here... I hope at some time you and your family can put this behind you as much as is possible.
Words cannot begin to describe the loathing I feel toward this animal and I sincerely hope he gets what he deserves for this heinous act, whatever his punishment is it will never be enough.

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Response to Old Codger (Reply #8)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 06:28 PM

38. Thank you!

I appreciate this.

This is the third generation of a relatively small extended family to be murdered in my lifetime. Our uncle was murdered in a small hamlet's bar; his murderer was upset that my uncle won a card game. The murderer's friends helped him load the body into my uncle's vehicle, and burn it on a lonely dirt road.

About 15 years later, his son -- an ex-Marine -- was murdered over a cheap bag of pot .....I can't remember if it was $20 or $10. But it really wasn't worth a human life.

No one was prosecuted in either of those cases. So it is good to see the area police forces and DA's office prosecuting this guy next week. I don't think it would happen in some parts of our country. Both the DA and police have treated us respectfully.

The system is a funny thing: it can work quite well, or not at all.

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #38)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 07:38 PM

40. No family ever

 

Should have to endure that much pain....

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Response to Old Codger (Reply #40)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 08:32 PM

45. I think that

violence sends a ripple out. It could be a cold-blooded murder, such as this, or it could be domestic violence inside a house. That ripple damages the social fabric. It needs to be addressed.

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #45)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 09:29 PM

53. It does that

 

It has far reaching effects that tend to last a long time, some for a lifetime...No one involved is ever the same again

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #38)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 10:21 PM

58. that history must make it even more painful... if such a thing were possible

Like blows upon a bruise. I simply cannot imagine how traumatized you all must be. I'm so sorry about it all.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 02:41 PM

9. Hoping for the most just, speedy, resolution for your family's tragedy.

I'm guessing the sweat will be four doors, 12 stones per door? Out west we generally use basalt, and avoid river rock (it can explode do to moisture trapped inside). I was wondering the symbolism of the quartz, and flint, and whether the flint is on the opening, or closing door..?

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Response to denbot (Reply #9)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 06:43 PM

39. Thanks!

And yep: four rounds, each lasting over an hour. That's one of the nice things about quartz/flint -- it holds heat for extended periods. And while I didn't ask him about his selection, I think that the duality symbolized by the two rock types was likely why he picked those.

Although he didn't know, it was an interesting choice, because all of the stones came from the areas where each of my two daughters is in college.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 02:54 PM

10. It will be hard to "relive" all of it,

but I hope that the court will bring
a just verdict.

Peace!

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Response to sadoldgirl (Reply #10)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 08:35 PM

46. Thanks.

Sometimes I'm struck by the duality we encounter in life. On one hand, I have the greatest of respect for the gentle strength of my cousin; on the other hand, I see him being tortured by the aggressive rage of a brutal, weak man.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 02:56 PM

11. Good To Hear From You

Take care, sir.

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Response to ProfessorGAC (Reply #11)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 08:35 PM

47. Thank you.

Always good to see you!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:08 PM

12. Always loved your writing. Sad to hear about your family.

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Response to Jemmons (Reply #12)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 08:38 PM

48. Thanks.

This is a tough subject to write about. So I appreciate everyone's patience and support.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:17 PM

13. thank you for keeping us informed

Hugs for you and your cousin.

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Response to passiveporcupine (Reply #13)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 08:38 PM

49. Thanks!

Much appreciated!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:31 PM

16. Such a sad story.

Healing vibes to you and your cousin.

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Response to navarth (Reply #16)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 08:39 PM

50. Thank you.

I really appreciate it.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:42 PM

20. When the thug is convicted and sent to prison...

... he'll probably complain that he deserves a larger cell. He will certainly never be persuaded that he did anything wrong. He was a strong man who Stood His Ground and didn't take shit from nobody. I hope he never bred; there are too many around like him already.

Peace, my friend.

-- Mal

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Response to malthaussen (Reply #20)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 08:44 PM

51. Right.

Thanks.

Yeah, that's him. You got it.

He had a wife and two daughters. His wife filed for divorce, shortly after his arrest. Some people -- including the murderer -- are convinced she did it to protect her property rights. However, I know some of her friends. She told them, once he was in jail, that he was an abusive husband and father. Plus, other stories that show his total lack of character are making the rounds. He bullied a lot of people.

His ex-wife and daughters would be welcome to sit with us during the trial.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:43 PM

21. May this jack ass be brought to justice

Prayers to you and your loved ones.

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Response to d_legendary1 (Reply #21)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:39 AM

71. Thank you!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:46 PM

22. I can't imagine what kind of defense he could mount.

Doing a sweat sounds very good. I still haven't got mine together yet.

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Response to panader0 (Reply #22)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:53 AM

72. Thanks.

The murderer has told three very different, equally false stories since the incident. The first was that the two had traveled to "hunt" him, and had been staying at a local motel. After repeated incidents of aggression on their part, including their having stabbed him with a hunting knife, he was forced to defend himself. (Now, of course, he wants this kept out of the trial.)

The sweat was good. Very good. And obviously, much needed. Inside the earth-womb, where there is no "time," I knew that everything was exactly as it should be, or it wouldn't be. We will be okay, not because of this creep's aggression, but in spite of it.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 03:47 PM

23. My condolences on your family's loss.

I truly hope that there is some justice that can come out of all this.
I know that is small comfort especially to your Cousin.

Your calm in this shitstorm is a credit to you. I can't say that I would be the same.

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Response to blackspade (Reply #23)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:12 AM

73. Thank you.

In times past, I have not always responded calmly. In 1998, when a racist hate group viciously attacked one of my nephews -- a high school scholar-athlete getting a lot of press -- because they hated non-white people, I really changed. This group of 17 men had assaulted my nephew, and left him for dead in the dark of a farmer's field.

My nephew lived, though his injuries will last his lifetime. We knew that the justice system wouldn't react the same was as if a gang of black men attacked a white teen. And that this increased the very real risk that my nephew's friends -- mostly white -- would seek revenge in the town where these thugs had come from. So, I decided to "try" the case myself, in the area media.

All of the newspapers, radio stations, and television news covered the trials of the guys who were charged. At each court hearing, we had 80 to 120 community members from around the region ....including two branches of the NAACP. My friend Robert Kennedy, Jr., offered his support to my sister and brother-in-law, as well as taking a very public stance on the case.

A high point for me was that the gang leader had hired the best defense attorney in this part of the state. This attorney fancied himself the best at debating. Hence, outside the courtroom, on the sidewalk -- and in front of the television cameras -- he sought to engage me in debate. That was a terrible error on his part. Within two minutes, he lost control, and was literally screaming insults at me. The funny thing was, he didn't learn from that humiliating experience -- for weeks to come, he continued to try to "win" a debate with me. And that simply wasn't going to happen. But it made for good TV, and served to educate the public.

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #73)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:32 AM

75. Holy shit, that's aweful.

Good for you shit canning that attorney.

As for your nephew, even being from the South, I have never understood the hatred of People of Color by White folks.
One of my earliest 'experiences' back in the 70s, when I was 5 or 6, was my Mom, Aunt, and some cousins going to the drive-in to see Walking Tall. It was one of those traumatizing experiences that shaped my visceral reaction to racism.
Seeing the cold blooded murder a family by racists made me realize at that young age that no-one is safe from that kind of hatred.
When I got older, and as I became more aware of my Father's activism and association with the Civil Rights movement, I came to understand that my fear of the possibility of violence was all to real to the African Americans that I knew and was friends with.
The violence that some White people are capable of, especially in groups, toward People of Color is horrifying and needs to be understood to be both criminal and unacceptable in our society.
The fact that so many get a pass by both their peers and the justice system is sickening.
I have watched the rise of the racist Republican Party, especially Trump, and the 'soft' racism of large portions of the rest of White people with growing unease.

Anyway, All the best to you and your family. And may the wheels of justice roll toward the criminal and not the victim!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 04:06 PM

25. Best of luck to you and your family.

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this and I hope justice is served.

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Response to GardeningGal (Reply #25)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:32 AM

74. Thanks.

Today, I've been focusing on coordinating rides for family and friends for next week. I've also spoken to some family members about the advantages of starting their "victim impact statements" now, rather than waiting. Even just an outline.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 04:16 PM

27. Wishing you peace!

 

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Response to 1StrongBlackMan (Reply #27)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:32 AM

76. Thanks, Friend!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 04:19 PM

28. I've been following this from the beginning, H2O man. I know ...

it must be difficult for you to relive it, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that justice is done, and that you and your family can find some small measure of peace.





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Response to 11 Bravo (Reply #28)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:45 AM

78. Thanks, 11 Bravo!

I really appreciate it.

I just got off the phone with one of my cousins -- one of Derek Dylan's aunts. I believe it was the first time that my voice has "cracked" under these circumstances. I was telling her how much I love and respect her. The violent death of her only nephew has changed her. The damage that man did goes so far beyond the pools of blood that stained that gravel parking lot.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 04:31 PM

29. Thank you for keeping us informed. I was just wondering a couple days ago about it. Nature is

the most beautiful and deep healer, keep her nearby. Love and Peace to you, your cousin, family and friends, Shirley

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Response to Dont call me Shirley (Reply #29)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:51 AM

79. Thanks, Shirley!

(I hope it's okay to call you Shirley!)

As I sit here, looking out my window while responding to the powerful messages of support from the DU community, I watched the dark clouds roll in quickly from the northeastern sky. It's raining now -- rather hard.

I have a nice porch, that is all closed in with large windows. My dog Samuel and I like to sit out there when it rains. I think I'll be spending time there, with Sam, today and tonight.

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #79)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 01:49 PM

91. For you, Shirley is acceptable. Have a peaceful time on your porch with Samuel and the rain.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 04:38 PM

30. My thoughts are with you and your family. Thanks so much for keeping us posted.

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Response to Hekate (Reply #30)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:52 AM

81. Thanks, Hekate!

I am fortunate to have you among my "extended family" on this forum.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 04:48 PM

32. We love you...

Prayers...good thoughts...good vibes...whatever comforts you is sent your way.

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Response to Liberal Jesus Freak (Reply #32)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:55 AM

82. Thanks!

Very much appreciated!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 04:56 PM

33. From my heart to yours.

 

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Response to Scuba (Reply #33)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:56 AM

83. Thanks, Scuba!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 05:04 PM

34. Always think of this case...

and I've been hoping for an update. As always, if there is anything we can do, please let us know. For you and your cousin:

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Response to Phentex (Reply #34)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 12:00 PM

84. Thanks.

I appreciate that. And I will probably ask you and others, during the sentencing phase, to write/e-mail the judge .....because this type of violence damages far more than one family .....it harms the community fabric .....and this incident was part of an ugly nation-wide sickness in our society.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 05:05 PM

35. Peace, H2OMan. n/t

 

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Response to Wilms (Reply #35)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 12:00 PM

85. Thanks, Friend Wilms!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 05:31 PM

36. Bless You and good luck, K&R, nt.

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Response to druidity33 (Reply #36)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 12:01 PM

86. Thank you!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 05:39 PM

37. K&R...

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Response to spanone (Reply #37)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 12:38 PM

88. Thanks!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 07:41 PM

41. Peace and strength to you all.

Thank you for keeping us updated on this horrible time for your family.

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Response to AllyCat (Reply #41)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:39 PM

93. Thank you.

It means a lot to me.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 07:47 PM

42. Police often waive juries

 

For good reason.

I hope it's not Williams.

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Response to rug (Reply #42)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:40 PM

94. Right.

His attorney is still asking about a plea deal. That ain't happening.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 07:47 PM

43. Prayers and light to you and your family

This is such a sad thing. I am glad you are there for your cousin.

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Response to rosesaylavee (Reply #43)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:42 PM

95. Thanks.

He and I have always been close. My kids refer to him as "Uncle." I think this experience has brought us even closer.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 07:51 PM

44. K&R. nt

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Response to tblue37 (Reply #44)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:42 PM

96. Thanks!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 09:06 PM

52. It's been discussed here before- I think this guy was a little too comfortable for this to be

his first murder. I get the impression he was just too familiar with the process.

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Response to NBachers (Reply #52)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:45 PM

97. Right.

There is no question in my mind about that. All of his behaviors point to a person who is very comfortable killing other human beings. If the last shot had gone off -- he put the gun to my cousin's head, but it jammed -- there would have been no witnesses. It was an unregistered weapon. easily discarded.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 09:55 PM

54. Strength and peace to you

the thug needs to be taken out of society and your cousin deserves to see justice for himself and for his son.

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Response to KT2000 (Reply #54)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:48 PM

98. Thank you.

I spent some time with my cousin today (I do most days). It will be good to get the trial over with. I'm not a huge fan of the prison system, by any means, but this creep is exactly the type that needs to be incarcerated.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 10:08 PM

55. All the best to you. I wrote a letter to the judge when the bastard

 

sought bail....I hope to write another one concerning his sentencing.

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Response to msanthrope (Reply #55)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:51 PM

99. Thanks, Buddy!

I absolutely appreciated it then, and I will definitely let you know when the victim impact statements are needed. For it is not only the immediate family that has suffered a loss ....our society is damaged by such aggressive and violent behaviors.

Your friendship means a great deal to me.

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #99)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 10:23 AM

118. I wish you, and yours peace and justice. nt

 

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 10:10 PM

56. I will be thinking about you and your family

Next week, and sending good vibes your way. I'm so glad I saw this! I was wondering just a day or two ago how things were progressing. I was afraid I'd missed an update, because I just haven't been spending as much time here recently. Make sure you take care of yourself, whilst you're busy taking care of everyone else!

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Response to ms liberty (Reply #56)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:57 PM

100. Thank you!

I was really glad that my other cousin came and prepared the sweat lodge ceremony for us. It did me a world of good. As much as I wish I could say otherwise, when I again saw that thug, just the sight of him -- and his smug behavior -- angered me. I could feel my former self, attempting to come to the surface. It must have shown, because as I was focused on him, a few of the law enforcement officers lined up between us, and had their eyes on me.

During the ceremony, I could feel the stress and tension draining from my body. I wish that I was to the point where I could forgive the murderer. But I'm not there yet.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 10:12 PM

57. you and your family are in my thoughts


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Response to shireen (Reply #57)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:00 PM

101. Thank you!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 10:26 PM

59. Hang in there Pat.

We're with you in thought and intention.

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Response to woofless (Reply #59)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:02 PM

102. Thanks, woofless!

The support of you & the DU community really means a great deal to me. My cousin thinks highly of everyone here, too. Maybe after the trial, he'll join. He loves politics, and would fit in very well.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 10:30 PM

60. Heart to you, Steve

So difficult. I am glad you are able to sweat.

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Response to Richard D (Reply #60)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:02 PM

103. Thanks!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 11:13 PM

61. "He seems to consider the numerous officers,...as his personal honor guard."

 

I'd love to see his face when reality sinks in.

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Response to Spitfire of ATJ (Reply #61)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:06 PM

104. Right.

I try to avoid diagnosing people -- at least since I retired! But everything about this scum points to sociopath. I'm comfortable with that, based upon everything I know about him. And I think that, one day quite soon, the reality of what his life will be is going to sink in. And, on my word, I will let you know if I get to see that.

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #104)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 01:13 AM

115. I diagnose people all the time....

 

Makes it easier to make those little wisps of steam come out of their ears.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 01:35 AM

62. I haven't followed this closely

but for what it's worth I hope everything goes smoothly and the trial is over quickly so you and your family can begin to heal. That is awful it happened to your family members.

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Response to davidpdx (Reply #62)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:10 PM

105. Thanks, David.

I know that I keep repeating myself, but ....my cousin and his son are the most laid-back, non-confrontational, gentle men I have ever known. That makes his "extra" hard for me to make any sense out of. My younger son tells me to quit trying to make sense out of something so senseless. But I keep coming back to the same question: Why? The young man pulled over, and let the guy by. But he wouldn't let it go -- and by "it," I mean that the young man was obeying the speed limit.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 04:01 AM

63. i will burn sage & cedar for you and your family

this weekend and on monday and offer prayers that your hearts remain strong through this ordeal.

in the past, it has been helpful to me when experiencing an ordeal to think of it as a ceremony of rounds. in my mind i breath in the steam and sing the songs for each round... it helps - i have terrible ptsd and sectioning the time in rounds in a sacred way helps me.

i am very sorry you and your family are having to endure this terrible ordeal. justice and peace for your cousin and your nephew on his road.

in a good way, hopemountain

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Response to hopemountain (Reply #63)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:14 PM

106. Thank you!

That means a lot to me. More than I can say.

When I saw my cousin today, I told him about the sweat with my other cousin. And how, while we were in ceremony, we could hear the distant sound of firetrucks, from several directions. As it turned out, it was a grass/brush fire, on the hill just behind where the incident had taken place. The reports say the fire was "naturally occurring," whatever that means.

I think it was a cleansing.

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Response to H2O Man (Reply #106)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 07:41 AM

117. yes! fire brings cleansing

absolutely.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 06:15 AM

64. thanks for the update

I'll be thinking of you and your family this weekend and next week. Hugs

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Response to LittleGirl (Reply #64)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:15 PM

107. Thank you.

I appreciate that.

"With the power of soul, anything is possible."
-- Jimi Hendrix

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 06:18 AM

65. I'm right there with you and your family

in spirit

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Response to malaise (Reply #65)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:16 PM

108. Thank you!

I am blessed to know you. For you are The Best.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 08:06 AM

66. This coverage is important for us, too. Thankyou for keeping us informed. I admire your strength.

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Response to marble falls (Reply #66)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:24 PM

110. Thanks.

It means a lot to me, that you and so many others are interested in the case, and supportive of my family. One of the things that I try to keep in mind is that, for far too many individuals and families, this is part of their American experience. Such violence is all too common. Yet, as this community proves, people are good. Most people really are good.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 08:13 AM

67. In my thoughts

As an attorney, I know the stress of a trial. Even with the facts on your side, until the Judge makes the pronouncement you will worry. It sounds like you have a wonderful support system. Continue to take care of each other.
B

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Response to Borchkins (Reply #67)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:36 PM

112. Thanks, Borchkins.

I definitely agree with you -- trials are stressful. Civil court is tense, often extremely much so. And criminal court is even more so ....especially a murder trial.

Today, when I was talking with my cousin, I reminded him that all he has to do on that witness stand is tell the truth. The defense attorney will try to engage him in conversation, and even ask questions that are intended to confuse and/or upset him.

Though I'm retired now, during my career as a psychiatric social worker, I had the opportunity to serve as a witness in more trials than I can count. I reviewed a few simple tactics to keep things level with my cousin. ("Never attempt to argue with the opposing attorney," etc.)

I'm lucky to have many outstanding people in my family, and among my friends. It helps to keep me sane -- or at least as close to sane as I tend to be!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 08:55 AM

68. Thank you so much for keeping us updated.

We will be sending you peace and strength for you and and all your family through this difficult process.

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Response to kag (Reply #68)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:36 PM

113. Thanks, friend kag!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:31 AM

69. Thanks for keeping us updated

I'll pray for Justice.
Tyr should be happy to get some attention...

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Response to JackInGreen (Reply #69)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:37 PM

114. Thank you.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 09:41 AM

70. I'm glad that this is going to trial, H2O Man. A very dear friend of mine was brutally murdered in

2012. Luckily, his murderers were stupid and were caught within days. They were both convicted of first degree murder& were sentenced to the mandatory life without parole here in Michigan. It didn't bring quite the level of closure that I had hoped it would, but it does help knowing that they will never breathe free air again.

Thank you for the trial updates, and please know that I'm thinking about you and your family.

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Response to catbyte (Reply #70)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:12 AM

119. Thanks, catbyte.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. 2012 was not that long ago, and I know how unexpected things -- it could be a place, a song, a smell -- brings it back to our conscious minds. I still have that, from the murder of family and friends from the 1960s, '70s, and '80s. It never really goes away.

Viktor Frankl's books helped me to understand that one can actually grow stronger -- not because of these tragic events, but in spite of them.

Being human is a curious and strange experience sometimes, is it not?

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:36 AM

77. Strength and peace to you all, H20 Man.

I hope your cousin and all of you see justice gotten for such a sad, terrible loss.

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Response to polly7 (Reply #77)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:20 AM

120. Thanks, polly7

I am confident that we will see justice, in the context of the legal system. Over the decades, I've seen the legal system's strengths and weaknesses. I still have a high opinion of its potential to function in a good way.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 11:51 AM

80. It is

good to hear that you have a lodge as a refuge from the mire. I will send my brothers Raven, Bear and Eagle to accompany you in this time when strength in all ways is needed.

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Response to 2naSalit (Reply #80)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:24 AM

121. Thank you!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 12:19 PM

87. Peace to you H2OMan

Thank you for sharing this, you have friends you never met here

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Response to felix_numinous (Reply #87)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:26 AM

122. Thanks.

And you are right -- I have a lot of Good Friends here. I might not meet them face-to-face, but I meet them mind-to-mind. And that is powerful.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 01:18 PM

89. (((Holding You and Your Family in Love and Light)))

I appreciate the updates of this horrific experience that you and yours are passing through. The honesty and integrity of your family's approach to this brutality is an inspiration to read about. While it does diminish us all to have such barbarity occur, it also uplifts us all when good people respond in such an awakened manner in the face of such outrageous injustice. I deeply appreciate your efforts in sharing this pain and although your friends cannot fathom it's depths, we still travel beside you in support.

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Response to Melissa G (Reply #89)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:30 AM

123. Thanks, Melissa!

I really appreciate it. This forum allows me an opportunity to "unload" those feelings that I would otherwise be holding inside.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 01:43 PM

90. Thanks for the update and I am sorry you

are going through this. Your family must appreciate how steadfast you have been for them-great!

We appreciate hearing how it's going, but only do what you can do. Be there for them is probably the most important.

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Response to Lifelong Protester (Reply #90)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:42 AM

124. Thanks.

And you are right -- the most important thing I can do is to be there for my family. There are times when I wish there was something more .....some "answer." But the answer is to be there.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 07:05 PM

92. You are the strongest person I know

I've told you that before and this is one of the reasons why. Stay strong you'll get through it. I will be thinking about you and your family until this is over. And if there's anything I can do just let me know.

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Response to Sensitive soul (Reply #92)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:42 AM

125. Thanks.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:17 PM

109. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts

 

trials, from what I have experienced, can and are toxic affairs. Take care of your spirit my friend.

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Response to nadinbrzezinski (Reply #109)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:50 AM

126. Thanks.

I know the defense attorney has a job to do, and that will include some degree of "blaming the victim." That's the nature of the beast.

I'll be wearing the "Kennedy '64" tie clip that the Attorney General handed out on the steps of that very court house, when he was running for Senate.

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Fri Apr 1, 2016, 10:25 PM

111. glad I saw this

will be keeping the whole process in my thoughts, peace and healing to you and your family

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Response to Kali (Reply #111)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:51 AM

127. Thanks, Kali!

Much appreciated!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 01:34 AM

116. ~holding you and your family in my heart~

I'm so sorry for this devastating loss.

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Response to GoddessOfGuinness (Reply #116)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 11:52 AM

128. Thanks!

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Response to H2O Man (Original post)

Sat Apr 2, 2016, 12:19 PM

129. Peace and strength to you and your family, H2O Man

i was told this a long time ago:

"Adversity does not make you stronger...

Overcoming adversity makes you stronger."

You know many of us have you and your family in our minds.

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