ISIS announces that it is quitting
In a shockingly quick reaction ISIS has announced through back channels that it will end its campaigns in Iraq and all current operations.
Sources say that ISIS leadership has determined that it can no longer continue now that President Obama spoke the words "radical Islam". "They knew it was coming some day" the sources said "but when Secretary Clinton said it and then the President, that was too much". The sources also indicate that ISIS leadership will return to their former lives of getting money from their Saudi Royal cousins, running schools, and having meetings about having meetings. "It's a good life really" one source said "plus keeping the troops drugged was a logistical nightmare and the marketing team was at their wits end. They went backwards to burning people in cages. That's a sure sign that they've lost their edge."
ISIS had recently thought they'd be getting their second wind as Donald Trump had fanned flames that usually create recruitment and even seemed to relish the most recent terrorist attack just this last weekend.
Fox News already has a special retrospective in production for this weekend entitled "The Magic Bullet -We told you so!".
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Sigh. 
