Commentary: Jolly good, Britain! Well done us.

[99th_Monkey]

A brilliant satire, in British Borowitzian.

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Jolly good, Britain! Well done us.
by Garret Cummings, founder of Lore Communication *cnbc * 6/23/16

Today is the first glorious day of liberation from the terrible tyranny of bossy Brussels. We're free!

Free to eat wonky bananas and oddly-shaped cucumbers. (We never appreciated Brussels' obsession with the shape of our fruit.) Free of the vile yoke that oppressed our people for so long, forcing us into having the right to live anywhere we pleased anywhere in Europe. Free of the horrendous oppression that forced our benevolent employers to give us paid holidays, maternity and paternity leave and workplace rights.

Oh, jolly good. Well done us.

Now we no longer have to worry about having the monstrous evil of socialized medical care when we're travelling in Europe. We can pay for private health insurance! Now we no longer have to face the horror of our sons and daughters spending time abroad on ridiculous Erasmus schemes which allow us to study anywhere on this benighted, awful continent and meet, get to know and even fall in love with dreadful foreigners who don't "share our values."

Instead we can be free! We can finally cut ourselves off from this dreadful corrupt, sclerotic sh*thole that produced the Enlightenment, Mozart, Michelangelo, Cervantes, Kafka, the Nobel Prize, Voltaire and the Eurovision Song Contest.

http://www.cnbc.com/2016/06/24/brits-reaction-to-brexit-vote-oh-jolly-good-well-done-us-commentary.html

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

1. Not the first "Brexit".

10,000 years ago, Britain was a European peninsula. Then a tsunami cleared away "Doggerland" and created the English Channel. British survivors were probably mixed as to their opinion of the event.

2,000 years ago, the Roman legions abandoned Britain. In this case, it was the "EU" that left Britain, not that Britain left the "EU". The result was the same. Remaining Britons were probably mixed as to their opinion of the exit.

Now, another Brexit. It's like a dramatic "Farewell Cruel Democratic Underground" post, filled with the same drama of "oh, noes, don't leave us" and "don't let the door hit you on the way out".

Britain, Europe, and the World will survive. Wall Street will recover. Trump and Clinton will be just fine, neither is going broke today.