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GreatGazoo

(3,937 posts)
Fri Jul 15, 2016, 03:23 PM Jul 2016

Amateur CSI time ...

Last Friday, I went to check on a friend who was not answering the phone. I knew in my gut something was wrong and this person has been hit by car 2 weeks prior so we were watching him closely. He had a catscan and MRI the night of the accident which showed no fracture of the skull so they cleaned the head and put 4 staples in to close a gash in the rear crown area of the head. They also found that he had a resting heart rate of 128 bpm. Heart rate was still high when he had the staples removed by a clinic on the day prior to his crossing over. 44YO male, smoker of 1/2 pack per day, some weed, heavy drinker for 22 years, normal weight, former lifeguard and athlete before the boozing started. He had top secret clearance while in the Navy but was discharged honorably when they discovered him sleep walking on deck one night.

He had complained of feeling tired earlier in the day when I visited around 10AM. He worked 4 hours for a client who also reported that he been told and could see that this person was tired and "not 100%" I had talked to him for 6 mins on Thursday around 730PM and he sounded slow but insisted he was "okay" twice. I called again around 930PM Thursday with concern. No answer, no call back. Same for Friday. I went at 530PM to his first floor apartment and noticed the bay window had been broken from the inside. My adrenaline surged. I went to the back door, took a deep breath and looked in -- not good. My pass key wouldn't work so I removed the air conditioner which was not on and reached around to unlock the door from the inside -- both the deadbolt and knobs locks were set.

In the 1-bdroom apt my friend's body was on the floor in front of the TV stand. laying on his side between the stand and the coffee table. Laying the way you would if you were sleeping on your left side. The 50" flatscreen was on and was flipped down on top of him and broken, a decorative ladder that hung on the wall between the LR and BR was pulled down and now blocked the hallway leading to the bath and BR.

Touching his legs which were feverishly warm and greenish confirmed that he was gone and not in some state of extended unconsciousness. When I took the TV off of him, his face was blueish green but uninjured by the TV which had hit the arm of a chair on the way down perhaps (because it was broken in way that suggested impact with a corner). His arms and hands were in a kind of fetal position, fingers curled, elbows bent at about 90 degrees and stiff.

The front door was locked the same as the back -- knob and deadbolt, front room AC was also off and the apt was insufferably warm with no circulation save the broken window. There was no alcohol present aside from an unopened 24oz beer in the fridge, half slice of pizza in the microwave and there was a thick brown brown gel that smelled like tobacco in the kitchen sink, about 4 oz in total. By the back door where I entered was a small pool of dried blood about 6-inches in diameter but nearer the body and on the body itself, no blood, no signs of combat or struggle. No unusual odors, working smoke and carbon monoxide detector in the room. A 2 liter bottle of Coke lay half spilled on the floor near the body as if it had been knocked off the coffee table.

Upstairs neighborhood heard a sound "like someone had dropped and broken a drinking glass" sometime between 9PM and 11PM but no screams or anything else of note.

I have a theory but would like to hear from others. Feel free to ask any questions needed to make your assessment and thanks in advance for your input on this one.

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citood

(550 posts)
1. This sounds like an awful scene to walk up to
Fri Jul 15, 2016, 03:31 PM
Jul 2016

I'd guess the broken window and other damage could have been your friend having a stroke or heart attack and running around in a confused state trying to get out of the apartment.

mercuryblues

(14,530 posts)
2. I agree
Fri Jul 15, 2016, 04:49 PM
Jul 2016

probably a heart attack or stroke. The stuff broke as he was falling down. Not know the configuration of the room/window and broken items I would guess that the window may have been broken in an attempt to get someone's attention for help.

The jell substance in the sink that smelled like tobacco, was he using an e-cig? Could it possibly vomit? some people vomit when having a medical emergency.

Sorry to hear about your friend.

GreatGazoo

(3,937 posts)
4. appreciate it
Fri Jul 15, 2016, 10:51 PM
Jul 2016

I have been avoiding revisiting this question of cause. My own guess is heart attack or stroke. He loses balance, struggles to stay up or get up, not enough oxygen to the brain and it ends.

I've laid it coldly here but our community is heartbroken. He was generous with his heart and well liked.

and I'll accept that...

HipChick

(25,485 posts)
5. Sorry for the lost of your friend.
Fri Jul 15, 2016, 11:12 PM
Jul 2016

You have a gift for writing...
My friend just recently gave birth to a baby girl...3 days later she lost her husband in a car accident...Life can be so cruel

GreatGazoo

(3,937 posts)
8. thanks for your kind words
Sat Jul 16, 2016, 12:42 AM
Jul 2016

life is resilient and fragile at the same time. And life is truly not fair, except perhaps by accident.

to your friend

CK_John

(10,005 posts)
6. IMO, You need an attorney since you are probably the prime suspect because
Fri Jul 15, 2016, 11:51 PM
Jul 2016

you broke in, should have called 911.

GreatGazoo

(3,937 posts)
9. I had a pass key and am well known to all the neighbors
Sat Jul 16, 2016, 12:44 AM
Jul 2016

the law in our state is that if a person dies alone then there must be an autopsy

underahedgerow

(1,232 posts)
7. I hope you're ok, this must be very traumatic for you. You did all the right things, putting
Sat Jul 16, 2016, 12:39 AM
Jul 2016

your friend's welfare above the caution of waiting for police to arrive to get in.

I'm guessing a blood clot and/or stroke. They can happen after a physical trauma. Often blood thinners are administered afterwards to prevent this, to deter such an event. It could be that the activity of going to the clinic to get the staples out dislodged the undetected clot and it moved to a fatal location.

He vomited the brown gel substance into the sink, then dropped to his knees vomiting blood on the floor. He gets up, going into the living room to lay down, collapses on the way, bringing the tv down on top of him.

The gel substance is interesting, but is most likely a coagulated bodily fluid that he vomited. (Unless he had a history of drugs use, but it sounds large for meth or anything else, and why would it be in the sink?)

I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your friend. You couldn't have done anything more... I hope your friends are rallying around you and giving you the comfort you need.

Legal issues surrounding the hit-by-a-car circumstances are bound to arise if the driver was at fault. That could get complicated.

GreatGazoo

(3,937 posts)
10. thanks for thinking so deeply about my question and my welfare
Sat Jul 16, 2016, 12:57 AM
Jul 2016

this is the third friend or relative that I have found dead. The first was my first spouse who passed with a heart attack in a very similar way to this. I'm getting better at dealing with these situations whether I want to or not

I think what was in the sink had been transferred there from a glass. Like spitting up in a glass rather than going to the sink each individual time. And then dumping the glass when you do get up.

this all happened one week ago tonight and I have been the one at the center of communicating the death to everyone on his phone, etc. we had the service last night so I am now able to focus more on my grief process and it seems I went back to "why? How?" which is denial in the sense that it doesn't change the bottom line. I would have felt worse if it was suicide. Much worse. There is no indication that this is because I talked to this person all the time and the 730 call was nothign unusual really. My heart goes out to those affected by suicides.

had the service last night and I woke up over night with so many thoughts but one was that Aeschylus quote that RFK made famous the night MLK passed, Aeschylus describes the 5 stages of grief in much the same order and segmentation that Elisabeth Kubler Ross does 2400 years later (!)

He who learns must suffer (omitted by RFK)
And even in our sleep, (1. DENIAL)
pain which cannot forget (2. ANGER)
falls drop by drop upon the heart,
until in our own despair, (3. DEPRESSION )
against our will, (4. BARGAINING)
comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.” (5. ACCEPTANCE)

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