Cruz Said Americans Don’t Have “Right” To Masturbate. His College Roommate’s Response Is...

[liberal N proud]

POLITICSCruz Said Americans Don’t Have “Right” To Masturbate. His College Roommate’s Response Is PERFECT

Ted Cruz (R-TX) is well known for his tyrannical puritanism and unhealthy aversion to anything sexual. He’s spent his entire life shaming people for expressing their natural sexuality – especially women. Cruz never grew or even deviated from his smug and self-righteous imposition of his own morals on those around him, from that time he was in college and called his friend’s mother a “whore” for her abortion to his recent assertions that he would force women to carry their rapist’s baby to term.

As a solicitor general, he argued that Americans have no right to sell sex toys or even have the right to masturbate at all. “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship” he argued in defense of a state ban on dildos in 2004, as apparently they are “obscene” devices that likely contain demons that are released upon orgasm or whatever primitive nonsense that evangelicals use to justify the imposition of Christian sharia law.

Ted Cruz’s roommate in college, however, has a very different story to tell.

Craig Mazin ✔ @clmazin
Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to "stimulate their genitals." I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.
10:35 AM - 13 Apr 2016

http://occupydemocrats.com/2016/04/13/cruz-said-americans-dont-right-masturbate-college-roommates-response-perfect/


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[SoCalNative]

1. Too bad his dad didn't masturbate

instead of inflicting him on the world.

[Penn Voter]

3. HaHa

I was going to say the same thing!

[ILFightinDem]

26. If there's a 'post of the day' category...

I nominate this one.

Thank you for the laugh - I needed one today (unrelated to the election).

[scscholar]

51. Oh snap

I agree.

[JHan]

2. AHAHahhaahahHAHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahAHahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahah

Cruz is so full of shit LMAOOOo

[calimary]

35. He's nothing but a wanker. From way back, evidently!

[Rocknrule]

4. Typical GOP control freak

"It's only okay when we do it"

Oh, and Ted? FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS!

[dalton99]

5. NEXT: Ted Cruz-approved sexual positions.

[DK504]

23. Thanks for that.

I just threw up in my mouth, thanks.

[lame54]

6. I like Cruz...

He's got spunk

[randome]

7. No! He doesn't! That's the whole...oh. I see.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]The truth doesn’t always set you free.
Sometimes it builds a bigger cage around the one you’re already in.[/center][/font][hr]

[Lochloosa]

8. Booooo

[IronLionZion]

22. !!!

[calimary]

37. Well, he's certainly got SOMETHING...

But I wouldn't call it spunk...

[progressoid]

45. ewww...

[MineralMan]

9. That's why Cruz prays so often.

He's scared crapless that Bog will damn him to Hell for wanking.

[dalton99]

10. He prays for action

[smirkymonkey]

11. Typical republican, christian hypocrite!

[gvstn]

12. What?

and called his friend’s mother a “whore” for her abortion

Sorry for not being very religious but... Jesus fucking Christ!

Does he really think any woman wants an abortion? Or deserves to be called a "whore" for liking a guy in a natural and instinctive/biological physical way? Or anyone should be made to feel bad about themselves for touching themselves where it feels particularly good and does no harm to anyone. Sometimes i hate assholes. Not that anatomical assholes are a bad thing. Saying mean stuff to a woman who had to make a terrible choice in order to have a safe procedure but will probably always have second thoughts about it is truly revolting. I have sympathy for everyone who has masturbated or had to make an extremely difficult choice in their lives (as a man, I will never have to make that most difficult choice, but I will always give proper respect to the women that do have to make that choice). Writing this is one thing but i am still mad at Ted Cruz for even thinking it let alone saying it. I was hoping that I could get over it by discounting his idiocracy, but I am still appalled by his words.

[Akamai]

27. Great response to the ravings of an odious man!

[central scrutinizer]

13. Bible thumpers

Shouldn't beat the bishop

[liberal N proud]

18. I saw a gag gift once that was a bishop on one side

Turn it around and it was a phallus.

[calimary]

39. OMG!!!!

I hadn't heard that one before! "Beat the bishop"!!!!!

[Augiedog]

14. Is this why Ted's bible pages are so sticky?

[liberal N proud]

17. Wonder what chapter and verse does the most for him?

[George II]

32. That reminds me of a TRUE story that a co-worker of mine told years ago....

He previously worked for St. Regis Paper, who landed a big contract from Penthouse Magazine to supply the paper for their magazine.

One day at lunch, around a table of five or six of us in the company cafeteria, he was talking about a big quality problem they had. They weren't very experienced in producing that heavy, glossy stock. Not realizing what he was saying, he said they "were having problems because the pages were sticking together"! Damn, we all fell off our chairs.

[shenmue]

15. Eeeeeeeeew

Brain bleach, please.

[allan01]

16. hummbug

[safeinOhio]

19. non-medical conditions?

Many years ago my doctor recommended it for my health. Last week my Urologist told this 67 year old man that I have the prostrate of a 20 year old.

What Ted knows and is not telling everyone else is that if you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing.

I saw this on fox news

[ecstatic]

20. Gross. His roommate was forced to listen?

BTW, we wouldn't even be talking about this if Cruz weren't such a creepy hypocrite. He brings this scrutiny on himself.

Not only did he masturbate (like most people he looks down on) but he couldn't even do it quietly?

[jcgoldie]

21. BAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

.... (thinks of Ted Cruz masturbating) ...

[IronLionZion]

24. Of course Republicans do exactly what they want to stop others from doing

Next Ted will try to ban Nickelback

[SunSeeker]

25. LOL

[Foggyhill]

29. Hey, nobody takes away my vibrator... There should be an amendment protecting that ;-).

Though I guess nobody's going to cut my finger off, so I'll always be OK .

[Amonester]

30. Bin Laden had porn tapes and a videotapes...

player in his "last" mansion...

Someone should hack that creepy dude's HD...

[George II]

31. That comment comes from one of the biggest jerkoffs in American politics!

[Rex]

33. "Roomie confirms Ted Cruz was a grand master bator in the dorms. Rolls a 20D and scores a critical!"

Not that there is anything wrong with that, just that Cruz pretended in public that it was wrong. SO what else has Mr. Moral gone on about that we should look into next?

[mnhtnbb]

34. WTF is it with Republicans that are constantly obessed with sex and who is doing what to whom?

And whether somebody might be doing something without someone else?

Good grief. Such perverts.

[Dem2]

36. Hah

Sometimes Twitter is good.

[trusty elf]

38. .....

[img][/img]

[central scrutinizer]

42. "Fapper?" This has to be a joke

Last edited Sat Nov 5, 2016, 08:35 PM - Edit history (1)

Who was the studio host? Heywood Jablowme?

[awoke_in_2003]

49. Here's the video

https://m.

[Warren DeMontague]

55. It was a joke, but Christine O'Donnell's anti-masturbation org in the 90s wasn't.

It's simply astounding to me how many people labor under this fantasy that they're going to be able to outlaw masturbation, from Pat Robertson to Gail Dines.

Seems an odd way to pleasure oneself, so to speak.

[awoke_in_2003]

47. From the TV show Louie

But I'd bet money a group like this exists

[Mendocino]

40. Beat Cruz in 16

[graegoyle]

41. Americans don't have a right to masturbate.

Use your left.

[awoke_in_2003]

48. I do

[OnDoutside]

43. Yes children, Billy Connolly has a song about that ! ->

[11 Bravo]

46. Thanks a lot! Now I've got to run out and find an all-night ...

Brain Bleach outlet!

[Buns_of_Fire]

50. What agency would be responsible for enforcement?

They'll probably have their hands full. So to speak.

[SusanCalvin]

52. I'll do anything to my own body I damn well please.

I think this may be the root of conservative [sic] assholerry.

[Solly Mack]

53. So he'll stump for a man who grabs women by the V but I can't grab my own vajayjay?

(It's mine - I'll call it what I want to call it, and I'll grab it whenever I wish)

[liberal N proud]

56. Nope, you will have to visit the Trump Groper for your needs

[Warren DeMontague]

54. Well, yeah. That was Scalia's argument in Lawrence v. Texas, too.

He was all bent out of shape that the Supreme Court might make it so states couldn't outlaw Blasphemy, Masturbation, etc. etc.

Most sane people recognize this crap as total bugfuck lunacy, unfortunately every once in a while we get a thread on DU where some "progressives" show up who want to legislate what consenting adults can do in private, too.