Paging Mr. Roget . . .

[madamesilverspurs]

Grandma was quite fond of reminding us, “If you can’t say something nice,
don’t say anything at all.” And Mom was never a cusser, she’d learned well
at Grandma’s knee. These days I’m having a little trouble following that
instruction. There are so many conversations about the president-elect and
I try to participate in the lady-like fashion in which I was raised,
but my thesaurus has yet to cough up an adequate synonym for
‘motherfuckingcocksuckingbuttstupidasshole’. Maybe I’ll get a bigger thesaurus
at the bookstore next week. Or after the holidays. Or July.


.

[Warpy]

1. You can always slide "ignoranus" past them

Mr. Roget never ran across it, but its basic meaning is "some blinkered, pig ignorant jerk who never sees anything new because his head is so far up his own ass he's blinded by his own shit."

You can also get clinical and talk about his medical condition, craniorectal impaction, and hope for a speedy recovery. Or you can go low and say "rich slob who doesn't know anything but thinks he knows everything and won't listen to anyone else, bless his heart.

In fact, you can say motherfuckingcocksuckingbuttstupidasshole. If chided for your breach of good manners, you can pull out my mother's rationalization that no real lady would ever admit she knew what those words meant, so back off, especially if you've had the supreme good manners to stick a "bless his heart" on the end of it.

My guess is that Mom and Grandma are both blistering the paint off the walls when he's on the TV and no one is around to hear them.