Congresswoman Maxine Waters Will Read You Now

[ehrnst]

Hello, come in, sit down. United States Congresswoman Maxine Waters of California will read you now.



Honey, Maxine Waters is not the one. You may have been told that she is the one but you were lied to. She would like to cordially invite you to not come for her unless she sends for you.

The Representative from California's 43rd District has been on a grand reading tour of D.C. and I am living for it. She doesn't care who you are—member of the press, president-elect, young pope, Alexander Hamilton—she's going to let you have it. She is going to take you down a peg. There are no pegs left in Washington. The town is peg deficient.

I'm tempted to elect Congresswoman Waters as this week's Shade Bae, but shade is subtle. Waters doesn't have time for subtlety. Waters knows that desperate times call for shadier measures. She is reading this town for filth.

Dr. Carla Hayden may be the Librarian of Congress, but Congresswoman Maxine Waters has read everything in that building, honey.

Her whole face says, "You tried it." Her lipstick shade is "Shade."

Waters' reading tour began last week at the world's quickest and sassiest press conference.

Y'all it is 21 seconds long and yet it will give you your entire and complete life.

Here's the whole transcript:

Rep. Waters: [already over it] Yes?... Can I help you? What do you want?

http://www.elle.com/culture/career-politics/news/a42222/rep-maxine-waters-will-read-you-now/

[ehrnst]

1. Best description of her post FBI briefing EVER:

"She didn't even need to drop the mic. She dropped the whole room. She shows up to a press conference, acts like it's the biggest inconvenience she's ever had to endure, and then says that she can't say anything...except that the director of the FBI has no credibility. Honey, as far as reads go this is Infinite Jest. I would leave the room, too. It's no wonder the video cut off abruptly; everybody probably just ran screaming into the streets, scalded by the severity of that burn."

[Maven]

2. OMG I am loving every line of this

And I love Rep. Waters!