Surviving Trump
I volunteer at the local Democratic Party office a couple days a week. Since the election, a lot more people have been stopping in. Many have never been to our office before. They come now because they are responding to a sense of crisis. They can't sleep and they can't shake a feeling of misery. They want to help us now and they also feel like they need help themselves just to cope. My only qualification to offer advice is- I feel their pain and I too am seeking ways to cope with a newly hostile environment. Here are my thoughts:
We deal with potential threats to our well-being by forming precautionary habits. We brush our teeth and go to the dentist. We take vitamins, exercise, and go to the doctor for checkups. We check the oil in our car, check our tires, and use our mirrors and turn signals when driving. We work to form good habits and once formed, those habits make our lives easier.
My first suggestion is that we need to form habits of good citizenship. Complaining will not change our circumstances. Complaining to like-minded people may make us feel better briefly but accomplishes nothing. We can expect to have the same complaints- and probably more- tomorrow. Complaining is a substitute for constructive action and we know it. Inaction is passive acceptance and creates a sense of guilt which only adds to the burden of adverse circumstances.
The first step is to take one positive action- preferably one that you don't ordinarily take. It can be signing a petition online, making a phone call, attending a rally, writing a letter, or donating to a cause. The next step is- do it again. And again. An easy way to replace depressing passive acceptance with active engagement is simply to schedule it and stick to your schedule until it becomes a habit. Mad Monday- put it on your calendar. Nasty Woman Wednesday- write it in ink. No Fracking Friday- we got this. Looking for more ideas? Want to take it a step further? Download the Indivisible Guide and coordinate with other people in your area.
My second suggestion is easier said than done and may not work for everyone. It's simply- don't be miserable. Remember, we're the people who laugh and smile. Don't let them take that away from you. Stop licking your wounds. Positive resistance to the Trump agenda is a good start, but a major hurdle in regaining and maintaining our good humor is dealing with people who are Trump voters. I consider Trump voters irresponsible and mostly irredeemable. If I had voted for Trump it would have been a deliberate act of treason. Holding other people to a lower standard of behavior is condescending and a lousy basis for any kind of ongoing relationship. Get those people out of your life. Most of them will leave of their own accord after a few unreturned phone calls or a couple choice expressions of contempt for 45. If you don't let these people go you will have a new anchor dragging you down- friends who you don't respect.
When I meet new people, Trump support is a deal breaker. I am cordial but not friendly and will avoid them in the future. The harder situation is with established friends and family members.The easy way out is to avoid political discussions. Unfortunately, that tactic may help avoid confrontation in the short run but the effect is corrosive of the mutual respect that good relationships require in the long run. Avoiding confrontation is a surefire path to a diminished relationship. Initiate that discussion if you can. Your deal breaker may also be their deal breaker. You may end up with fewer relationships, but the ones that survive will be stronger. At the very least you won't have those avoided conversations hanging over your head anymore. And if you run out of friends you can always stop by the local Democratic Party office. You'll find a lot of good people just like yourself.
= new reply since forum marked as read
And excellent advice! Thank-you!
