MORE THAN THREE HUNDRED MILLION AMERICANS NOW ENROLLED IN TRUMP UNIVERSITY
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an astonishing comeback for the scandal-scarred educational institution, Trump University enrolled more than three hundred million new students at noon on Friday.
“Congratulations,” the President of Trump University told the new students. “For the next four years, you are all in Trump University.”
Some Americans who supported the President of Trump University in his long-shot bid to reopen the school made the journey to Washington, D.C., to hear his welcome address.
“He said we’re all going to be rich!” Harland Dorrinson, a new Trump University student, said. “I just know that this is going to end really well.”
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/more-than-three-hundred-million-americans-now-enrolled-in-trump-university
