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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI'm tired of having to explain to men AND WOMEN why we marched.
It is really just sickening the amount of negativity for daring to march Saturday. So much anger I found an excellent post I wanted to share. Even when it feels like we are rowing the boat alone, we have our sisters.
https://medium.com/@dinachka82/about-your-poem-1f26a7585a6f#.j1qyi6op6
You Are Not Equal. Im Sorry.
A post is making rounds on social media, in response to the Womens March on Saturday, January 21, 2017. It starts with I am not a disgrace to women because I dont support the womens march. I do not feel I am a second class citizen because I am a woman
.
This is my response to that post.
Say Thank You
Say thank you. Say thank you to the women who gave you a voice. Say thank you to the women who were arrested and imprisoned and beaten and gassed for you to have a voice. Say thank you to the women who refused to back down, to the women who fought tirelessly to give you a voice. Say thank you to the women who put their lives on hold, who lucky for you did not have better things to do than to march and protest and rally for your voice. So you dont feel like a second class citizen. So you get to feel equal.
Thank Susan B. Anthony and Alice Paul for your right to vote.
Thank Elizabeth Stanton for your right to work.
Thank Maud Wood Park for your prenatal care and your identity outside of your husband.
Thank Rose Schneiderman for your humane working conditions.
Thank Eleanor Roosevelt and Molly Dewson for your ability to work in politics and affect policy.
Thank Margaret Sanger for your legal birth control.
Thank Carol Downer for your reproductive healthcare rights.
Thank Sarah Muller for your equal education.
Thank Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Shannon Turner, Gloria Steinem, Zelda Kingoff Nordlinger, Rosa Parks, Angela Davis, Malika Saada Saar, Wagatwe Wanjuki, Ida B. Wells, Malala Yousafzai. Thank your mother, your grandmother, your great-grandmother who did not have half of the rights you have now.
You can make your own choices, speak and be heard, vote, work, control your body, defend yourself, defend your family, because of the women who marched. You did nothing to earn those rights. You were born into those rights. You did nothing, but you reap the benefits of women, strong women, women who fought misogyny and pushed through patriarchy and fought for you. And you sit on your pedestal, a pedestal you are fortunate enough to have, and type. A keyboard warrior. A fighter for complacency. An acceptor of what you were given. A denier of facts. Wrapped up in your delusion of equality.
You are not equal. Even if you feel like you are. You still make less than a man for doing the same work. You make less as a CEO, as an athlete, as an actress, as a doctor. You make less in government, in the tech industry, in healthcare.
You still dont have full rights over your own body. Men are still debating over your uterus. Over your prenatal care. Over your choices.
You still have to pay taxes for your basic sanitary needs.
You still have to carry mace when walking alone at night. You still have to prove to the court why you were drunk on the night you were raped. You still have to justify your behavior when a man forces himself on you.
You still dont have paid (or even unpaid) maternity leave. You still have to go back to work while your body is broken. While you silently suffer from postpartum depression.
You still have to fight to breastfeed in public. You still have to prove to other women its your right to do so. You still offend others with your breasts.
You are still objectified. You are still catcalled. You are still sexualized. You are still told youre too skinny or youre too fat. Youre still told youre too old or too young. Youre applauded when you age gracefully. Youre still told men age better. Youre still told to dress like a lady. You are still judged on your outfit instead of whats in your head. What brand bag you have still matters more than your college degree.
You are still being abused by your husband, by your boyfriend. Youre still being murdered by your partners. Being beaten by your soulmate.
You are still worse off if you are a woman of color, a gay woman, a transgender woman. You are still harassed, belittled, dehumanized.
Your daughters are still told they are beautiful before they are told they are smart. Your daughters are still told to behave even though boys will be boys. Your daughters are still told boys pull hair or pinch them because they like them.
You are not equal. Your daughters are not equal. You are still systemically oppressed.
Estonia allows parents to take up to three years of leave, fully paid for the first 435 days. United States has no policy requiring maternity leave.
Singapores women feel safe walking alone at night. American women do not.
New Zealands women have the smallest gender gap in wages, at 5.6%. United States pay gap is 20%.
Iceland has the highest number of women CEOs, at 44%. United States is at 4.0%.
The United States ranks at 45 for womens equality. Behind Rwanda, Cuba, Philippines, Jamaica.
But I get it. You dont want to admit it. You dont want to be a victim. You think feminism is a dirty word. You think its not classy to fight for equality. You hate the word pussy. Unless of course you use it to call a man who isnt up to your standard of manhood. You know the type of man that allows his woman to do whatever she damn well pleases. I get it. You believe feminists are emotional, irrational, unreasonable. Why arent women just satisfied with their lives, right? You get what you get and you dont get upset, right?
I get it. You want to feel empowered. You dont want to believe youre oppressed. Because that would mean you are indeed a second-class citizen. You dont want to feel like one. I get it. But dont worry. I will walk for you. I will walk for your daughter. And your daughters daughter. And maybe you will still believe the world did not change. You will believe youve always had the rights you have today. And thats okay. Because women who actually care and support other women dont care what you think about them. They care about their future and the future of the women who come after them.
Open your eyes. Open them wide. Because Im here to tell you, along with millions of other women that you are not equal. Our equality is an illusion. A feel-good sleight of hand. A trick of the mind. Im sorry to tell you, but you are not equal. And neither are your daughters.
But dont worry. We will walk for you. We will fight for you. We will stand up for you. And one day you will actually be equal, instead of just feeling like you are.
~ Dina Leygerman, 2017
MontanaMama
(23,296 posts)Is why I drove 2 hours to be one of 10,000 marching in Helena, Montana.
In these words, I hear the voice of my mother who told me back in the 80's, when I was twenty-something, that no matter how good I thought I had it, that the fight for equality wasn't over....it would never be over. I laughed when she talked like this, because I was young and didn't know better because life seemed easy...certainly easier than it had been for her.
My mother is gone now but I remember her words and I regret dismissing her warning. Last Saturday, I marched to honor my mom. I get it now. My human rights are not guaranteed. She fought for me and now I will step up...for my mom, for me, for the women who think none of this matters and for their daughters...who will pay the price of their mother's inaction.
Thanks Mom. You were right.
Wounded Bear
(58,604 posts)and great explanation.