First SC Decision for New Appointee Gorsuch
Newly appointed to the Supreme Court, Neil Gorsuch gave his opinion on the case of United Airlines v Asian Doctor today. Judge Gorsuch read his opinion out loud for reporters who had gathered at the steps of the Supreme Court building. Without a trace of emotion in either his facial expressions or vocal intonation, the judge said, "I hereby find in favor of the corporation, United Airlines. Based on extensive review of the bylaws regarding involuntary bumping of passengers that are hidden in very small print somewhere buried deep in the recesses of United Airline's website, I see no other choice than to fully absolve United Airlines, and by extension airport police, of all culpability. While I feel for the brutalized Asian man, he should have known better. Enforcing these rules that are meant to serve large corporations means that, sometimes, passengers must be beaten senseless and humiliatingly dragged off of planes." Justices Ginsburg and Sotomayor listened to justice Gorsuch with jaws dropped in abject horror to the marble floor of the court building.
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