Couple of months ago I got a speeding ticket. I decided to go to court for it.

[Stinky The Clown]

The judge was hearing traffic cases that day. Before the court session started she laid out her ground rules for the schlubs like me who were there to regale the court with sad and our sordid tales of this bullshit or that about why we should have all charges dropped and get a hug and a bowl of ice cream before we got sent home.

One rule that made absolutely perfect sense was to not bother telling her that everybody else was also doing 85 in a 55 zone.

Those other people may be lucky to have gotten away with it that time. It may be monumentally unfair that the cop on duty chose YOU to pull over and not the car behind you or in front of you or who passed you going even faster.

YOU were doing 85 in a 55 zone.

How do YOU plead?

Simple.







I often think of that judge when I hear some TV punditator punditating that the politician who did whatever is being pundited didn't do anything worse than the politician of the other party did when he did whatever it is that is the subject of the punditational concern.

Didja do it?

I don't care if Hillary did it. Or if W did it. Or if Obama did it. Or even if 45/140 did it.

Did YOU do it?

Cuz that's what we're talking about.

All the arm flapping in the world won't change the fact that YOU did it.

Sure, you can spin it and, at least in DC, you can often get away with it by spinning.

But that should not be allowed to happen.

Stand up, be a grownup, take your spanking, and go sit down.

YOU were guilty.











Me? I was lucky that day. I was speeding to the tune of 4 points. I had an otherwise squeaky clean record. The judge scolded me about not being seen again in her courtroom. How I am too old and kindly looking a geezer to be doing this sort of this.

Stet Docket.

2 years probation.

I have slowed down. Lesson learned. I can't afford to get that close to a suspension.

See? The system worked.


I
Have
Slowed
It
Down

No more driving like a cowboy in my 6,500 lb truck.






Next case . . . .

[elleng]

1. GOOD, Keeping Maryland roads safe!

[jberryhill]

2. I had a similar thing years ago

I was fourth or fifth in line, and the judge asked each person why they did whatever it was.

They'd come up with some kind of rationale, and the judge would rip into them, "THAT'S no excuse... yadda, yadda, yadda...."

So when he got to me, even though I was genuinely confused about the rules on the street in question, I figured I'd take the safe route and say, "Your honor, I really have no excuse or reason for it."

That REALLY pissed him off... "No reason! No reason! You just did it because you felt like it! You just break laws because you feel like it!"

Oy.

[jaysunb]

3. Ask to see the last calibration of the radar gun used to determine your speed.

If that fails, just say, "the cops car was too slow to catch the others.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

4. I had to go to traffic court a couple of years ago

and it was quite fascinating. I was there because I was pulled over for not stopping properly at a stop sign. I, of course, believe fervently that I did stop properly, but I'm not about to argue with the cop. He was only going to give me a warning, but I didn't have my current proof of insurance with me. So off to traffic court I went.

This is only third time ever in over 50 years of driving I've had to go to traffic court, but I always find it fascinating.

Oh, and all I had to do was show proof of current insurance and I was free to leave.

[gratuitous]

5. Went to court for speeding once

I was much younger than I am now. There were about 25 of us sitting in various places around the courtroom, not trying to make eye contact with anyone, everyone feeling conspicuous and hoping you didn't see anyone you knew.

Just like in Arlo's song, a man came in and said, "All rise," so we all stood up, judge comes in, sits down and we all sat down. Judge looks over his docket and calls the first case, State v. Jones (or whoever it was). Enter stage left a woman in jail garb, accompanied by two guards. Judge says something about providing drugs and contributing to the delinquency of a minor while in a position of trust. Bound over for arraignment that afternoon. Do you understand? "Yes, sir." Guards turn woman around and out the door she goes.

Suddenly, everyone waiting is a LOT more interested in the other folks around them. Are you a real criminal? Am I? Judge makes a note on the docket, looks up and scans the room, seeing us as if for the first time. "Those of you who are here for less serious matters (everyone exhales and a nervous titter sweeps the room), wait for your name to be called, step up to the center podium, don't shout into the microphone."

[Major Nikon]

6. My first trip to traffic court was an education

I was 16 and was cited for speeding 10mph over. Another 16yr old told me if you go to court you can have the fine reduced. So naturally I believed this and off I went.

The case right before mine involved a girl that tried to run from the cops when they tried to pull her over. The cops testified how she had passed 5 cars on a 2-lane highway going up a hill and they had to set up a road block to pull her over. Her dad got a lawyer and he got all the charges swapped for a simple charge of careless driving.

My case came up next and when I asked for leniency I was told I didn't deserve it. So the lesson learned was judges only respect you if you have a lawyer.

These days I endeavor to obey all traffic laws. There has been a few times I've been cited for various reasons. On one occasion a cop lied when writing down my statement. The lesson learned there was to say nothing more than the bare minimum required and sign nothing that isn't 100% accurate. I always just pay a lawyer and the result has always been charges dropped, nothing goes on the driving record, and I never go to driving school.

When you realize our entire legal system is really just one big bluff that isn't remotely concerned with truth or justice and a racket designed to keep lawyers gainfully employed, life becomes that much simpler.

[radius777]

9. great post, completely agree. /nt

[tammywammy]

7. In Texas you can request a jury trial

I've only been called to jury duty once, it was for my city's municipal court for a traffic tickets.

[Stinky The Clown]

8. Given the responses, the OP was poorly crafted.

The first block was merely preamble. The middle block, excerpted here, was the point I was trying to make. The third block was gratuitous. Mea culpa.

I often think of that judge when I hear some TV punditator punditating that the politician who did whatever is being pundited didn't do anything worse than the politician of the other party did when he did whatever it is that is the subject of the punditational concern.

Didja do it?

I don't care if Hillary did it. Or if W did it. Or if Obama did it. Or even if 45/140 did it.

Did YOU do it?

Cuz that's what we're talking about.

All the arm flapping in the world won't change the fact that YOU did it.

Sure, you can spin it and, at least in DC, you can often get away with it by spinning.

But that should not be allowed to happen.

Stand up, be a grownup, take your spanking, and go sit down.

YOU were guilty.