Where is Spicey, dammit?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Did they refuse to let him out of his basement cage today, where he's been held for months between daily press briefings?

Sarah Fuck-a-bee's so boring, self-bedazzled pink blouse notwithstanding. I want Spicey's brand of absurdist comedy/performance art back. It's just not the same.

[ProudLib72]

1. Sorry, but he will be gone for the weekend

He's in his bunny costume attending the National White Supremacist Pathologically Lying Furries Convention. Total membership: 3, which is a HUGE number, PERIOD!

[True Dough]

2. Suck-a-bee sure is adept at

dodging. She's saying next to nothing up there. Spicey is prone to putting his foot in his mouth. She's definitely playing it safe, not saying enough to get herself in any hot water.

My guess is Spicer is getting lessons in pronunciating world leaders' names.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

3. She's so boring.

Spicer's utterly bizarre performances were a well-needed source of unintentional comedic relief during these harsh times.

I'd love to say that Sean Spicer is secretly a mole as in acting under deep cover and that his various perplexing missteps have all been subtle signals to his superiors.

But he's more like a mole in terms of a subterranean rodent.

Strike that: He's more like a mole in terms of an unwanted cluster of skin cells.

[True Dough]

4. She just said, "See you on Monday"

So Spicey must be on vacation. Or recovering from his lobotomy.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

5. This just in: Sean Spicer has been replaced by Grumpy Cat.

:large

[True Dough]

7. "We don't care what label you put on the memes that mock me."

"We just want to be remembered as the administration that lied our asses off."

[True Dough]

6. CNN reporter Joe Johns

just said Spicer is off doing reservist duty.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

8. Imagine being stuck in a foxhole with Spicer.

That would be something else.

[True Dough]

10. It's not a place where anyone should have an automatic weapon!

[underpants]

11. Naval reserve

"The 17th line of national defense, right behind the Arkansas militia and the League of Women Voters"
-The Simpsons.

[blogslut]

9. I don't supposed anyone asked her...

why her father is being a racist ass for Cinco de Mayo.

[democratisphere]

12. drumpf University taking a course in Propoganda delivery.

[greatauntoftriplets]

13. Having a nervous breakdown?