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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsGreat "read" on the Comey letter to the FBI after his firing..
Last edited Fri May 12, 2017, 10:30 AM - Edit history (1)
Allow Me, a Simple English Major, to Decode FBI Director Comeys Goodbye Letter
by Kaila Hale-Stern | 12:06 pm, May 11th, 2017
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comeytop
I always knew that my degree in English literature that I am still paying for would one day prove to be crucial in a world crisis. Now, I will expertly use the unique skills that I was trained in, like close reading and deconstructing the nuances of subtext from sentences, to translate ex-FBI Director Comeys farewell letter to his colleagues for the masses.
To all:
I DIDNT EVEN ACTUALLY GET TO SEND THIS TO EVERYONE IN THE DEPARTMENT BECAUSE I WAS SHOVED OUT LIKE A GODDAMNED PARIAH WHO HAD PISSED IN H.R.S COFFEE SO FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW POST IT ON FREAKIN FACEBOOK SO THAT YOUR GRANDMOTHER SEES IT PRINT OUT COPIES AND DROP THEM FROM OUR STEALTH SPY AIRPLANES OVER THE AMBER FIELDS OF AMERICA MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
IM OFFICIALLY NAILING THIS SHIT TO THE CHURCH DOOR LIKE MARTIN LUTHER
I have long believed that a President can fire an FBI Director for any reason, or for no reason at all.
IN CASE ITS NOT PERFECTLY CLEAR IM THE LATTER CASE YALL OR ELSE I WOULDNT HAVE MENTIONED IT
Im not going to spend time on the decision or the way it was executed.
YEAH IM NOT GONNA GO INTO IT HERE BECAUSE H.R.S LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER BUT THE FACT THAT I MENTION THE DECISION IS MEANT TO BE A BIG RED FLAG CALLING YOUR ATTENTION TO SHITBAG TRUMPS SHITBAG DECISION
AND THE FACT THAT I ALSO MENTION THE WAY IT WAS EXECUTED IS MEANT TO REMIND YOU THAT THAT MOTHERFER DIDNT EVEN HAVE THE BASIC RESPECT TO CALL ME OR LOOK ME IN THE EYE WHEN HE FIRED ME LISTEN FRIENDS WE TREAT FBI TRAINEES BETTER WHEN WE CATCH THEM DOING SILENCE OF THE LAMBS COSPLAY IN THE QUANTICO DORMS AT NIGHT
LISTEN FRIENDS ENTRY-LEVEL TEMPS GET BETTER TREATMENT THAN YOUR MAN HERE WHO DEDICATED DECADES OF HIS LIFE TO KEEPING THIS GODFORSAKEN COUNTRY SAFE WHILE TRUMP LIVED IN A GOLDEN TOWER HOSTING REALITY TELEVISION SHOWS AND GRABBING PUSSIES YOU BEST BELIEVE YOU BETTER SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME THINKING ABOUT HOW THIS WAS HANDLED EVEN TOTAL FAILURES GET A HEADS-UP FIRST AND IM STILL WAITING TO HEAR ABOUT SEVERANCE FROM H.R.
I hope you wont either.
I HOPE YOU WILL
It is done, and I will be fine, although I will miss you and the mission deeply.
IM NOT FINE IM NOT FINE IM BARELY KEEPING IT TOGETHER DID YALL HEAR HOW THAT SONNOVABITCH IN CHIEF WAITED UNTIL I WAS OUT OF THE STATE TO FIRE ME AND SENT HIS PERSONAL BODYGUARD WITH A NOTE TO FBI HEADQUARTERS EVEN THOUGH I WASNT THERE LIKE THAT IS SOME DOWNTON ABBEY SHIT YOURE GONNA MAKE THE BUTLER DO YOUR DIRTYWORK AND SEND A MCFRICKEN NOTE AS THOUGH ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL DIDNT SOLVE THIS COMMUNICATION PROBLEM IN 1876 FUCK
I have said to you before that, in times of turbulence, the American people should see the FBI as a rock of competence, honesty, and independence.
RED FLAG RED FLAG SIRENS TO ARMS MY PEOPLE THIS IS A TIME OF TURBULENCE OR ELSE I WOULDNT HAVE SAID SO
WERE IN DEEP DOODOO HERE NOW SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUVE GOTTA DO: BE HONEST AND INDEPENDENT BY WHICH I MEAN TELL THE COUNTRY WHATS REALLY GOING ON HERE LEAK YOUR LEAKY LIL HEARTS OUT BE INDEPENDENT ANSWER TO NO ONE IN THAT CORRUPT FESTERING WOUND OF AN ADMINISTRATION FBI GOING ROGUE NOW
What makes leaving the FBI hard is the nature and quality of its people, who together make it that rock for America.
HERE I AM REMINDING YOU AGAIN WE ARE AMERICAS ONLY HOPE YOU ARE ALL NOW OBI-WAN KENOBI ONLY AMERICAN
It is very hard to leave a group of people who are committed only to doing the right thing.
THIS IS THE THIRD TIME IVE DIRECTLY CHARGED YOU WITH BUCKING ALL CONVENTIONS AND AUTHORITY AND TAKING THESE BASTARDS THE HELL DOWN NEED I SPELL IT OUT AGAIN OK I WILL: ONLY DOING THE RIGHT THING AND I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS
My hope is that you will continue to live our values and the mission of protecting the American people and upholding the Constitution.
DONNIE TRUMPO HAS INVOKED A CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS AND HES WIPING HIS ASS WITH OUR MOST SACRED DOCUMENT THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME I HAVE EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU THAT YOU HAD BETTER STEP UP
If you do that, you too will be sad when you leave, and the American people will be safer.
SORRY YOURE GOING TO BE FIRED AS WELL BY THIS CANCER ON THE AMERICAN STATE ITS GOING TO BE WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER BUT THE COUNTRYS FREEDOM IS ACTUALLY AT STAKE HERE DESTROY HIM LIKE A GREAT AVENGING EAGLE
Working with you has been one of the great joys of my life. Thank you for that gift.
IF I EVER MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU MY G-MEN AND G-WOMEN YOU WILL BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN
Jim Comey
CALL ME JIM BECAUSE IM JUST AN EVERYMAN CITIZEN NOW THAT THIS ORANGE WANNABE DICTATOR TERMINATED ME SO LETS GRAB A BEER SOMETIME IM FREE MOST NIGHTS THIS WEEK AND NEXT AND THE WEEK AFTER THAT I HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS ALL OF A SUDDEN EVER SINCE I WAS RELIEVED OF MY NONPARTISAN TEN-YEAR APPOINTMENT THAT NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN FIRED FROM BEFORE EXCEPT DUE TO SERIOUS ETHICAL BREACH AND I REMIND YOU I LEARNED I WAS FIRED FROM THE GODDAMNED TELEVISION LIKE A LAUGHINGSTOCK ME JIM COMEY I HAVE SEEN THINGS YOU PEOPLE WOULDNT BELIEVE I KNOW WHERE ALL THE BODIES ARE BURIED OUR PRESIDENT IS ONE STUPID ASSHOLE ISNT HE ANYWAY THE FATE OF THE NATION IS ON THE LINE THESE ARE YOUR ORDERS JIM OUT
Apologies - should have included this link
https://www.themarysue.com/comey-goodbye-letter/
yodermon
(6,143 posts)link wld be cool
pkdu
(3,977 posts)AgadorSparticus
(7,963 posts)ProudProgressiveNow
(6,129 posts)SunSeeker
(51,550 posts)pnwmom
(108,976 posts)Also, DU got sued a number of years ago on copyright infringement, so it's better not to post whole articles like this -- just an excerpt of about 4 paragraphs and a link.
https://www.themarysue.com/comey-goodbye-letter/
colorado_ufo
(5,733 posts)Silver Gaia
(4,542 posts)mnhtnbb
(31,383 posts)I cannot wait for that traitorous fu*kin' orange SOB to go down and take his griftin' smarmy family with him. AND every goddamn Republican a$$kisser that
has supported him.