Trump Loyalty Oath Leaked. Here is a transcript of it:

[MineralMan]

I, {print your name legibly here}, hereby pledge my total allegiance to Donald J. Trump, the legitimately elected President of the United States, who won with more electoral votes of any President. I pledge to support his policies, regardless of their stupidity, and to follow his orders, even if they might cause me to be prosecuted. By pledging my total, unreserved and undeserved loyalty, I also recognize the following statements to be true, and will honor them and defend them to the death:

1. Donald Trump is the smartest, most honest man ever born.
2. Donald Trump is the handsomest man ever.
3. Donald Trump has the physique of a Greek God and the largest hands of any man.
4. Donald Trump rose from the dead after three days and is immortal.
5. Donald Trump's word is his bond, except when he changes it.
6. Donald Trump is hereby granted permission to withhold my pay for any reason.
7. Donald Trump should be President for Life of the United States.
8. Donald Trump's daughter Ivanka is HAWT, but must not be touched by anyone but Donald Trump.
9. Donald Trump's adult sons are the salt of the earth, but are not allowed in the White House.
10. Donald Trump's decisions are final until he changes them.
11. Donald Trump must be obeyed at all times.
12. I will speak no words against Donald Trump, either in the White House or elsewhere.
13. I will praise Donald Trump without ceasing.
14. I accept Donald Trump as my Personal Savior.
15. Donald Trump can fire me at any time without cause or explanation.
16. If I fail to honor any of the statements above, I must pay Donald Trump $10,000,000.
17. I may never look Donald Trump in the eye, nor speak to him without permission.
18. I will love and honor Donald Trump until the day I die.

Date: {write today's date and NOT in military format. That confuses Donald Trump.}
Signed,

{write your name here in cursive}

[Laf.La.Dem.]

1. Missed one - BIG HANDS!

(or did this cover hands - physique of a Greek God)

[MineralMan]

4. Didja ever see a Greek God with small hands?

Sometimes, though they don't have such big weenies, it seems.

However, I seemed to have missed that while transcribing, so I've edited my transcript. Thanks for the heads up.

[jberryhill]

2. What's interesting is that you pretty much came up with the North Korean legal system

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_North_Korea

The specific hierarchy of authority in North Korea is the words or personal directives of Kim Jong-un; followed by the Ten Principles for the Establishment of a Monolithic Ideological System, WPK directives— particularly the policy guidance of the WPK Secretariat’s Organization and Guidance Department; the WPK Charter and domestic civil laws, and finally the North Korean Constitution.

The "Ten Principles for the Establishment of a Monolithic Ideological System" are:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Principles_for_the_Establishment_of_a_Monolithic_Ideological_System

We must give our all in the struggle to unify the entire society with the revolutionary ideology of the Great Leader Kim Il-sung.

We must honor the Great Leader comrade Kim Il-sung with all our loyalty.

We must make absolute the authority of the Great Leader comrade Kim Il-sung.

We must make the Great Leader comrade Kim Il-sung's revolutionary ideology our faith and make his instructions our creed.

We must adhere strictly to the principle of unconditional obedience in carrying out the Great Leader comrade Kim Il-sung's instructions.

We must strengthen the entire party's ideology and willpower and revolutionary unity, centering on the Great Leader comrade Kim Il-sung.

We must learn from the Great Leader comrade Kim Il-sung and adopt the communist look, revolutionary work methods and people-oriented work style.

We must value the political life we were given by the Great Leader comrade Kim Il-sung, and loyally repay his great political trust and thoughtfulness with heightened political awareness and skill.

We must establish strong organizational regulations so that the entire party, nation and military move as one under the one and only leadership of the Great Leader comrade Kim Il-sung.

We must pass down the great achievement of the revolution by the Great Leader comrade Kim Il-sung from generation to generation, inheriting and completing it to the end.

[MineralMan]

3. Hey, one loyalty oath is pretty much like all loyalty oaths.

They make no sense, but people sign them anyhow.

[FakeNoose]

5. Wow this is a classic

[MineralMan]

6. Gosh! Thanks!

[shraby]

7. You're good!

[stage left]

8. What?

Jared can't touch her, either? Or has he paid Donald 20,000,000?

[gay texan]

9. I love #14!

"Sir, have you considered accepting Donald Trump as your lord and savior?"

[stonecutter357]

10. K&R!

[spiderpig]

11. OK, MineralMan, you have me dying.

(Where do I sign up?)