Alamo Drafthouse Apologizes for Starting Manpocalypse With Women-Only Screening

[ehrnst]

"We at the Alamo Drafthouse would like to officially apologize for our role in the end of mankind as we knew it, and the ascendant Gynocracy that followed. We didn’t know our women-only screening of Wonder Woman would result in the overthrow of all world governments and the total subjugation of men, but in hindsight we probably should have seen it coming.

“Why can’t women have one night to enjoy a character that’s meant so much to them over the years?” asked the Shadowy Figure. The woman came into our offices in a cloak as black as the grave, followed by three wild-looking dogs. Her voice had no age, or every age, it was hard to tell. Sometimes it sounded like more than one woman was talking. The Shadowy Figure made good points about Representation Mattering and Safe Spaces as she idly flicked raw flesh to her dogs. Around her swirled plumes of sickly sweet incense from a source unknown, but this is Austin, so we figured she was just keeping it weird. How naive we were.

..................................................

“Man’s time is over,” she said. “They have done all that they will do, all they are capable of doing.” And then she grabbed Chris Pine by the hair and slit his throat with a big double-edged axe that we’re pretty sure was not in the comics but that’s Hollywood for you.

“This is the labrys,” she told the audience as Chris Pine sputtered and choked on his own blood. “A symbol of woman’s power. It cuts away that which is false. It is a problem and a solution. Look under your seats.”

Each woman pulled a similar double-edged axe from under her seat. We do not know where they came from. We did not put them there. The Alamo Drafthouse did not arm the first Amazon Death Squad. We want to make that perfectly clear."

https://medium.com/BethyBSQU/alamo-drafthouse-apologizes-for-starting-manpocalypse-with-women-only-screening-ccf6f4090a14

[tanyev]

1. LOL!

[PunkinPi]

2. Check out the smack down by the Austin Mayor...

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/06/01/531108962/austin-mayor-responds-to-man-angry-about-wonder-woman-screening?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social

[Coventina]

9. That is totally awesome!!!

[SnowCritter]

14. Magnificent response

Mr. Ameduri received a well-deserved .

[NastyRiffraff]

23. That was brilliant!

If Austin weren't in Texas, I'd want to move there! (I know Austin is liberal, but it's still in Texas. I don't want to take the chance.)

[barbtries]

25. thanks for the link

the man has some issues with women apparently. "Achievements by the second rate gender pale in comparison to virtually everything great in human history was accomplished by men, not women."
"I do not hate women. I hate their rampant hypocrisy and the hypocrisy of the 'women's movement.' Women do not want gender equality; they want more for women."

the mayor's response was priceless

[Pacifist Patriot]

26. I just got a crush on Mayor Adler.

And his communications director!

[Lotusflower70]

3. Omfg!

That's awesome.

[annabanana]

4. Some spectacular trolling there, boy!

loving it

[IronLionZion]

5. Matriarchal oppression!

It's a slippery slope. Feminists will implement their final solution to their male problems any day now. Mandatory gender reassignment surgeries for everyone are coming!

[nolabear]

6. Dammit, that was supposed to be a secret!

Now we have to find whole new movies to spread our message.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

7. .

.

[VWolf]

8. I, for one, welcome our new women overloards

[bluecollar2]

17. I also welcome them...n/t

[denbot]

22. Hmm, it seems my wife Alley was part of the forward reconnaissance.

Sorry guys, I should have known.

[GeoWilliam750]

29. Mine, too

But I plead extenuating circumstances. She blinded me with her charm, brilliant intelligence, extraordinary good looks, and her stunning ability to effortlessly take complete control without my even knowing it. She tells me that I am a blissfully happy man, and that I have no reason to doubt her.

[NewJeffCT]

20. Are they overlords

or overladies? Or, Overpersons?

[mopinko]

10. troll level-

wonder woman.

[Initech]

11. I have to go to an Alamo Drafthouse now!

[NightWatcher]

12. Bout damn time. Women should've taken over soon, and they would have

except they were busy doing everything else. Feeding us, cleaning up after us, reproducing the human race....

[dhill926]

13. K & R to infinity.....

this just made my day....

[DK504]

15. An epic snark level at a unseen by man before.

My respect and love goes out to Alamo Drafthouse.

Obviously the manly men don't quite understand Amazons....men were tools, only used for sperm donations. Some even got to live afterwards. So quit you whining and realize own lucky you are.

[TxDemChem]

16. Wow!

They nailed this

[NBachers]

18. Oh, the humanity

[ehrnst]

19. "The Dianas grew in number, emboldened by Teen Vogue thinkpieces. " (nt)

[NewJeffCT]

21. I'm just glad I'm not named Travis

that would have been a rude awakening.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

24. I think I love Mayor Steve Adler and communications dir. Jason Stanford❤️

Mr Ameduri might also be mortified to know that the "hacker" doesn't know the difference between the contraction of it + is, specifically, "it's" and the possessive, which is "its".


Mr Ameduri may possibly be found for comment at the "Tally Ho", his local strip joint, as he thinks so highly of Women, except for those pesky character defects of ours which he meticulously listed for our benefit.

[SunSeeker]

27. LOL

[shenmue]

28. Mr. Ameduri, Marie Curie would like a word with you