Nuclear Winter? Many Trump Fans Are Loving It (Satire)
From Medium:
The world recoiled in horror when President Trump launched a nuclear strike on Namibia eight days ago, reportedly provoked when he misheard President Hage Geinbob’s remark “we look forward to working with you” as “you lost the popular vote by three million people” during a 47-second phone call. North Korea took advantage of the ensuing chaos to launch its own surprise hydrogen-bomb attacks on Las Vegas and Cincinnati, leaving hundreds of thousands dead and millions wounded. The United States has sustained trillions of dollars in damage to its infrastructure, including the power grid and food supply. The globe is reeling from its worst crisis since World War II, and the fabric of society appears to be unspooling rapidly.
But to Donald Trump’s most fervent supporters, that’s precisely the point.
“Honestly, this is exactly what I expected from him,” said Steve Meissner, a 67-year-old former machinist who perched on a pile of smoldering rubble that once served as the back booth of Joey’s Classic Diner. Meissner has been a regular here for 32 years, stopping by every Friday afternoon for Joey’s signature steak and eggs (temporarily replaced by “Joey’s signature gruel,” the owner explained quietly, until cows and chickens can be deemed non-radioactive by the USDA, which hasn’t been heard from since the attacks).
“The liberals are still upset about losing the election,” chimed in Andrew Dunn, an administrative assistant whose badly mutilated nose oozed with tiny droplets of blood and pus as he spoke. “They just won’t quit complaining.”
Trump’s first communication after the attack, a tweet reading “South Korea will pay!!!” — misidentifying the country responsible — was his most popular ever. His defiance rallied the GOP base: a Gallup poll conducted by horseback last week showed 62% of Republicans now favor sending ground troops to South Korea, with only 7% of Democrats on board. Perhaps more surprisingly, after Trump suggested that being attacked by nuclear weapons might actually help America “toughen up,” a Reuters/Ipsos poll taken via carrier pigeon showed 93% of Republicans agreeing that exposure to a colossal mushroom-cloud explosion would “move the country forward.”
Many here agree with the sentiment. “This whole nuclear winter thing has been great for America,” said Bill McClarey, a cook at Joey’s. “It feels like we all finally have a common enemy in South Korea.”
Full article here: Link to the article
Funny satire, 'cause you gotta laugh to keep from crying, right?
