CNN: WH Official - Trump "Taking Matters Into His Own Hands"

[underpants]

He knows his in a political fight and HE'S going to take it on HIMSELF.

All I can say is:


THANK YOU 8 POUND 6 OUNCE LITTLE BABY JESUS!!!!


This is a disaster waiting to happen to him.

[gratuitous]

1. Are his hands big enough?

[Orrex]

7. Excellent

[adigal]

41. LOL!!! I had the same exact thought!!!!

His tweets today have already caused him future legal issues! Thank God he is such a dolt, cause we are seeing out govenment is not up to stopping a runaway executive with a complicit Congress.

[C Moon]

76. :D

I would guess they are plenty big enough for that—oh, you mean in regards to the article.
:O

[stonecutter357]

91. He's a grower not a shower ?

[GoneOffShore]

96. That's beyond icky.

And now I'm going to have to finish a whole box of wine to get that image out of my head.

And just for that, I bet he's got Peyronie's disease as well.

http://www.webmd.com/men/peyronies-disease#1

[Canoe52]

108. You think that's icky, because of your little link there

I had to go smoke a couple of bowls!

[Big_K]

115. Humm, I guess he dresses to the "up" in that case

Though I suspect it's small enough not to be much of an issue.

[Nac Mac Feegle]

122. Probably a no-er

[GoneOffShore]

127. That's brilliant.

He probably hasn't seen it without a mirror in 20 years.

It might even be recessive.

[C_U_L8R]

2. Must be tiny matters

[LOL Lib]

21. Minuscule

[volstork]

44. Microscopic!

<----- these are GIANT by comparison!

[LOL Lib]

92. Hey Volstork!

[MineralMan]

3. That just means that he's going to tweet a lot more.

That's how he uses his hands. They're too small for much else. But they fit on a smartphone's display keyboard just right.

[Motley13]

42. greasy KFC fingers cause covfefe

[smirkymonkey]

56. Can you imagine what his phone screen looks like?

All smeared with KFC grease, beautiful chocolate cake frosting and globs of ice cream.

[Jacquette]

69. Those globs weren't

vanilla ice cream....



Don't ask.

[smirkymonkey]

70. Ewwww!

Probably!

[SCVDem]

78. Hey!

I'm eating lunch here!

[louis-t]

121. "Looks like you blew a seal. "

"Nah, that's just a little ice cream."

[Progressive dog]

113. That sounds right.

[Autumn]

4. No big deal, if he taking it into his hands it must be a very, very small issue.

[Solly Mack]

5. Isn't that the problem to begin with? Well, one of the many problems. Mister "I alone" can fix this

can't fix anything.

His mouth will always overload his butt.

[Cha]

68. Snap!

Link to tweet

Solly

[Solly Mack]

86. Hey Cha

The man can't help himself. Which is both a good thing and a bad thing. (for the rest of us)

[tblue37]

72. His alligator mouth always bites his hummingbird ass. nt

[Solly Mack]

84. I'm trying to imagine that.

I know I shouldn't, but I still am.

[tblue37]

85. It's from an African saying, "Don't let your alligator mouth bite your

hummingbird ass." I believe it is a common Hausa saying.

[Solly Mack]

87. I was trying to imagine Trump with a hummingbird butt.

Thanks! I'll try the saying out.

[The_REAL_Ecumenist]

105. Funny optic but it probably isn't Hausa or any other African saying because

there aren't Hummingbirds in Africa, Asia or Europe. They are native to the Americas

[tblue37]

107. I got it from a PhD candidate who did his research for 2 years in the Sahel.

Maybe it is a modern saying devised after information about hummingbirds became well known there.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

6. I think the quote was "taking the shriveled flaccid matters into his tiny, tiny hands." nt

[LOL Lib]

22. Oh snap!

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

45. I aim to please....

[DefenseLawyer]

8. I like to think of my Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt... n/t

[underpants]

14. because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party

I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.

I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger.

[tblue37]

73. Mischievous Badger don't care. nt

[klook]

83. Bwa-ha-haa! I like to think of Jesus as a bowling ball,

striking the ten pins of pestilence and ennui, and I forget what the other eight are. Maybe it's a spare and there are only two left.

I like to think of Jesus as a crow carrying a glint of sunlight in his beak.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

9. He's like, smart. He doesn't have to be told the same thing over and over. NT

[mahatmakanejeeves]

10. He's got the whole world in his hands.

Until now, I had thought that this was performed by a woman.

Laurie London

[DeminPennswoods]

11. Mueller's investigators eyes just got big

with delight I'm sure.

[NastyRiffraff]

88. I bet they're avidly following his tweets

and after they stop laughing they'll start planning the indictment.

[Permanut]

12. Well, remember, he promised the wingnuts at the convention..

“No one knows the system better than me,” he said pausing to smile, “which is why I alone can fix it.”

[underpants]

15. Speaking of which - did you see that he's keeping the DREAM Act alive

http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2017/06/trump-kills-meaningless-program-keeps-daca-mini-dream-act-in-place/

[Permanut]

94. Hadn't seen that..

I'm betting he cancels DACA as soon as someone tells him what it is.

[Chemisse]

112. Or that it was important to Obama.

[Permanut]

124. zackly. n/t

[maryellen99]

13. For gods sake somebody keep the nuke codes away from him nt

[irisblue]

16. Are you very sure about the 6 ounces?

I thought Pastor Bill said 8 pounds, 2 ounces?
LOL

[underpants]

20. :-)

[L. Coyote]

17. So, WTF has been in charge until now? Is he throwing everyone under the bus?

Whose tiny hands have been tweeting away every day anyway?

[GallopingGhost]

18. "I don't know, but when this is all over

your father may be going away for a little while!"

[dembotoz]

19. he is a very rich fuck who has always gotten away with shit

that is one of his big problems

people just don't say no to him
he gets his way

to rich to fail
thats why god created lawyers

[Bernardo de La Paz]

23. He thinks he can still call it a "matter" and not an investigation. . . nt

[jpak]

24. Proceed Mr. President!!!!

[Alice11111]

66. turn him loose...it's only fair

[broadcaster90210]

25. Splendid. So who's he gonna nuke? n/t

Nt

[Ptah]

26. Of course - 24 Things Nobody Does Better Than Donald Trump

[GallopingGhost]

31. Someone ought to set this video to music.

He forgot, Nobody understands lying delusional buffoon better than Donald Trump!

[underpants]

33. Hilarious. Trump's 24 things. "The horror of nuclear"

He had to go to notes on devaluation?

[keithbvadu2]

47. DONALD TRUMP: "I'M A REALLY SMART PERSON"

DONALD TRUMP: "I'M A REALLY SMART PERSON"
.

.
"I'm like a smart person"
.

[aggiesal]

74. Here's Cheetolini in a previous life.

[tblue37]

75. Not a smart person, but LIKE one. nt

[tclambert]

95. He's like a smart person in the way a Mini Cooper is like a bullet train.

He's like a smart person in the way an Etch-A-Sketch is like an HD TV.
He's like a smart person in the way a seahorse is like a racehorse.
He's like a smart person in the way a turkey is like an eagle. (Yeah, I like this one, because in this analogy, Trump is the turkey.)

[GallopingGhost]

27. Howse about we make him happy

and call it a matter of investigation.

[MoonRiver]

28. Oh goody!

He's like the narcissistic criminals I see on ID who insist on representing themselves in court. They lose 100% of the time, but sometimes get new trials based on an incompetent counsel appeal, LOL. Don't think that would work for Chumpy though.

[malaise]

29. Please proceed

short-fingered vulgarian

[Big_K]

116. I have loved that description since I first read it

in Spy, those many years ago. Back when I was young, and had more hair on my head and less everywhere else.

[malaise]

118. Yes - it's perfect

[Buns_of_Fire]

30. Little Donnie's To-Do List: (1) Fire the entire WH staff.

(2) Fire the Justice Department.

(3) Fire Congress. All of them except maybe Mitch and Paul if they provide ample butt-smoochies.

(4) Find out who shot J.R.

(5) Find out who took the strawberries.

Tuesday...

[RKP5637]

35. Or ... threaten the nation with the nuclear code launch!

[NCjack]

49. Note to self: Harden the storm cellar design and raise project

to priority #1.

[Still In Wisconsin]

123. That's what I am fearing...and expecting.

How many times did he ask why we can't use nukes if we have them during the campaign?

[underpants]

36. And then THEN he unleashes his secret weapon

?t=1487065140
OMAROSA!!


Tuesday... that got me

[Alice11111]

64. She would actually be pretty if I didn't "know" her. I was

wondering who she was. Then, I read your post. I always thought she looked creepy, mean ugly.

[MADem]

111. She's got dead eyes.

The windows to the soul have no light in them....

[Alice11111]

128. Yeah

[orangecrush]

32. Here comes the firing

Saturday Night Massacre.

[Eliot Rosewater]

55. Putin has told him what to do and he will do it.

If GOP doesnt do the patriotic thing, we could be in a civil unrest situation.

[orangecrush]

67. Let's hope

Patriotism and cool heads prevail.

[bdamomma]

103. For sure

all Putin has to do is pat donnie's head and say good boy, and donnie will obey like Putin's dog.

[RKP5637]

34. "Taking Matters Into His Own Hands" - NO WAY - I'm not gonna watch him masturbate on Twitter! n/t

[angrychair]

39. Damn it

There went my keyboard...

[GallopingGhost]

40. Thread winner!

And... eww. lol

[angrychair]

37. Perfect

Keep being you Two-scoops, fuck those player hatin punks, am I right?





(Turns and walks away, a sly smile forms from ear to ear)

[RKP5637]

38. White Coats Standing By! n/t

[JHB]

43. Silent thread for matters

[dchill]

46. Am I wrong, or is this the best news in a month?

[rurallib]

48. What could possibly go wrong?

he has a house in Florida, right?

So is this really:
"Florida Man comes to Trump's rescue in White House scandal"

huh, huh?

[Motley13]

50. 19 things Donald Trump knows better than anyone else, according to Donald Trump

I have no doubt he can do it putz style





https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/10/04/17-issues-that-donald-trump-knows-better-than-anyone-else-according-to-donald-trump/?utm_term=.6e3df7e746a7

[enid602]

51. Waiting

I'm waiting for tRump to announce that he'll represent himself in court. Imagine the ratings!

[Hekate]

52. Please proceed, Lil Donny 2 Scoops...

I feel better about the nukes since I read yesterday that Mattis and Tillerson are ignoring him and making policy on their own. On the one hand, that's an appalling way to run the government; on the other hand, I hope to God it means they're keeping the launch codes away from him.

[Mc Mike]

53. "Everything he touches turns to tRump" -- R. Rhodes

[BeyondGeography]

54. IOW, he's a loon, don't blame us

[Missn-Hitch]

57. I think he wants to go out fighting....it will only help his

new media empire which is probably in the works. TrumpTV, RealNewsRadio, The Daily Covfefe Newspaper.

He is going to make bank after all of this - 36% still support this tragedy and it will not drop below 33%. I know these folks. Diehard nimrods!

Jail? Ha. He will be pardoned.

[wryter2000]

58. Pass the popcorn

This is going to be better than Watergate

[sarge43]

79. There isn't enough popcorn in the world n/t

[smirkymonkey]

59. Like Fielding Mellish defending himself in court in "Bananas"

?t=2

[underpants]

63. LOL.

Loved Woody Allen movies back in the day.

Thank you and I like to order something to go

[smirkymonkey]

65. The old ones are the best!

[underpants]

120. Stardust Memories - Woody pokes fun at himself

About 20 seconds in

"We enjoy your films, particularly the early funny ones"

[Big_K]

117. I still wear my underwear on the outside

Esposito: From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old!

Fielding Mellish: What's the Spanish word for straitjacket?

[blue-wave]

60. Jeepers!

Now I really must invest in that new recliner. This show is gonna be a good one! Might as well be comfortable.

As my mother used to say,"never try to understand it, because you never will." Unfortunately, sometimes I lapse from this wisdom and think I'm the one who's going crazy! Geez, Donnie, take your meds!

[SethH]

61. he's not in a political fight

he's in a legal fight

[underpants]

62. Welcome to DU. Yes you are right.

Knife to a gun fight.

[TygrBright]

97. More like "cheap plastic spork to a gunfight." n/t

[Honeycombe8]

90. Both! While it's going on, he has little political clout here at home. nt

[Beartracks]

100. Repubs insist it's just Dem sour grapes...

... over Hillary losing.

Because Repubs are willfully blind and ignorant.

===========

[tblue37]

71. His own tiny little handsd. nt

[Doug the Dem]

77. WCPGW???

[NCTraveler]

80. What do you expect. His wife isn't around much. Nt

[pangaia]

81. I just hope he doesn't do it in pubic.

[marlakay]

82. He must think his twitter followers

Will save him. Why else would he post such obvious stuff to get him in trouble?

He can't be that dumb can he?

[Javaman]

89. boxing waaaaaaaay out of his weight class. nt

[sharedvalues]

93. His only hope now is full-blown authoritarianism

Mueller will almost certainly find something that will take him down -- money laundering, or corrupt taking from oligarchs sent by Putin, or discussing sanctions, or voter data, or even collusion.

If Mueller is left to do his work, DJT is done and he knows it. So he's backed into a corner.

His only hope is to completely disregard the rule of law. Fire Mueller or take over FBI or start a war or stage a coup. DJT has been corrupt his whole life. He's not going to let Mueller finish him without a fight.

Get ready.

[meow2u3]

98. What's he going to do? Murder Mueller?

I wouldn't put it past him.

[keithbvadu2]

99. Alternate truth ..... Fired - with extreme prejudice.

Alternate truth ..... Fired - with extreme prejudice.

[AgadorSparticus]

101. Wait. Is it Christmas already? Oh dear god, I hope he follows through with this

You can do it, Donald!!! Yes you can!!!

[spanone]

102. Bwahahahahahaaa

[0rganism]

104. "a disaster waiting to happen to him"

he's already a disaster that's happened to all Americans and the rest of the world, so all i can say to that is...

[Kaleva]

106. So, Melania and Donnie Two Scoops are sleeping in separate bedrooms?

[Buns_of_Fire]

109. Maybe. I know *I'D* get tired of dressing for bed every night...

[SergeStorms]

110. Trump's Attorney.......

is totally useless if he can't get Le Grande Orange to keep his big trap shut. Of course I heard that Trump's Attorney is 'lawyering' up himself, so we can all pretty much guess how competent Trump's Attorney actually is, can't we?

[madinmaryland]

114. tRump masturbating is not really news.

[MichaelSoE]

119. Love the Ricky Bobby reference

[Sancho]

125. A more detailed plan for the fight:

1.) grab a p**** in the White House
2.) enjoy finger-licking good KFC
3.) practice the putt putt a little in mar-a-lago
4.) shove a diplomat
5.) tweet, tweet, tweet
6.) push that record button when the FBI is in the room
7.) get Baron to show him control-alt-delete
8.) point at Hillary
9.) give the super secret handshake to Thersa May
10.) pull a Russian prostitute's hair

[left-of-center2012]

126. So, this is not about Trump's sex life? -- Trump "Taking Matters Into His Own Hands"