General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThoughts on the death of my grandmother
This morning, around 12:35am CST, I got a text from my mother telling me my grandmother, Nanny, had died. She had been hospitalized earlier in the day, and the diagnosis was grim. She was 69. She was my mom's stepmother, but I grew up with her as my grandmother. She was a retired RN and it was because of this I learned of the immense value of nurses and realized THEY are the ones you want on your side. She was a great Nanny. She attended very wedding, bar mitzvah, graduation, and major event in the lives of her grandchildren (all 9 of us), and her great-grandchildren (18), and even had three great-great-grandchildren. As my husband describes her, she had a very bubbly personality and loved to laugh. She also, like me, loved chihuahuas. My last text exchange with her, a few weeks back, was her thanking me for sending her money and she ended it with, "I love you and (your husband) very much. Love, Nanny".
Nanny was very accepting and open with understanding I was gay. She even tried to set me up once. That didn't take. She absolutely adored my husband and once told me, "You have yourself a good man, honey. You better be good to him and not let him go!". Of course, it all went back to when I was 21, and we were in the Bahamas at a casino, drinking Bahama Mamas, and she just blurted out:
"I love you. And I don't care who you love. You are my grandson and I will always love you!"
After picking my jaw off the ground, we talked for hours. She wanted to know everything. She even commented on the guy I hooked up with down there by saying, "Wow he's got a nice butt! My grandson has great taste." Kinda funny to hear your grandma say something like that!
When she met my then partner, now husband, for the first time, she walked up to him, hugged him, and said, "Call me Nanny. I am your grandmother now." I was always treated with respect by her and she demanded it of others.
While I am very sad, I am still happy that I, at 48yo, still had a grandmother. She was my last grandparent. I will miss her very, very much.
ETA: I wanted to say "Thank you" to each one of you who took the time to respond. It lifted my spirits on a very sad day. I will try again, but know I really appreciate it. (I am having problems with DU not loading correctly after multiple postings.) From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!
left-of-center2012
(34,195 posts)You (and your husband) have been blessed with her in your life.
leftstreet
(36,106 posts)Sorry to hear it
Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)Love the picture.
Hekate
(90,645 posts)CaliforniaPeggy
(149,588 posts)I found myself smiling and nodding all through it.
I am sorry for your loss! But in so many ways, she will always be part of you. Please take care of yourself and remember her always...as if you could do otherwise!
mulsh
(2,959 posts)my experience of the past few years where everyone in my family except me I celebrate these, can still hear their voices if I listen carefully, and have wonderful memories. It's also why I'm not using the past tense. Like the memories you and your husband must have.
So of course I feel for you and the grief you'll be going through I hope what I've written will help you to move on and continue to celebrate the wonderful people in your life. Like your grandmother
Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)I spent today remembering the things we did together and funny stories. I will miss being able to share things with her, but love that I was able to share things with her.
NNadir
(33,512 posts)...condolences which I extend to your whole family.
After my mother died, in my early 20s, my father remarried, and I too, had the joy of a very special step parent, much as your Mom did.
luvMIdog
(2,533 posts)I'm sorry for your loss, but glad you have such lovely memories to hold on to. I'm also a big chihuahua lover.
TEB
(12,841 posts)Sorry for your lost dear friend
malaise
(268,930 posts)Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)sheshe2
(83,746 posts)Those are beautiful memories of your Nanny, hold them tight.
democrank
(11,092 posts)I'm glad you had her support.
DesertRat
(27,995 posts)MLAA
(17,282 posts)iamateacher
(1,089 posts)Wonderful person. I am sorry for your loss.
TNNurse
(6,926 posts)Demsrule86
(68,552 posts)her...my deepest condolences.
m-lekktor
(3,675 posts)big hugs to you.
Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)She was a very good grandmother.
LostOne4Ever
(9,288 posts)OldRedneck
(1,397 posts). . . they've seen enough of life to know what really matters.
I never knew my paternal grandparents. Lost my maternal grandfather and grandmother in 1972 and 1983. Not a day goes by that I don't hear their voices.
Moostache
(9,895 posts)Its great to hear of someone who understands "family" at the gut level like she did. May the happy memories last forever and the grief of her loss fade swiftly for you.
JustAnotherGen
(31,810 posts)She sounds like she was a lovey!
Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)Martin Eden
(12,863 posts)your post is.
mopinko
(70,078 posts)i never knew any of my grandparents, really. my dad's mom died when i was about 8, she was the last. both granddads died before i was born.
my kids didnt fair too much better.
she sounds like she was a real peach. i am sorry for you loss.
Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)But, I was lucky to have MANY grandparents and great-grandparents growing up. I was always shocked by the number of people in my classes who never even knew their grandparents. When I was born, I had three great-grandfathers, three great-grandmothers, three grandmothers, and three grandfathers. I lost them over the years, but I was in college when I lost a great-grandmother, and was 32 when I lost my last great-grandmother. So, I have been very lucky to have such an extended family and be a part of their lives and them a part of mine.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you had such a wonderful Nanny and that she loved and accepted you for who you are. She sounds like an absolute gem. My condolences.
MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)I hope my grandsons talk so lovingly about me after I pass.
Kali
(55,007 posts)nice tribute, so sorry for your loss
sellitman
(11,606 posts)She sounds like what my grandmother was like. Long memories.
Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)I will treasure the memories.
mehrrh
(233 posts)A very nice eulogy on your grandmother....which speaks as well of you as of her.
Doug the Dem
(1,297 posts)Like sergeants in an army, nurses keep hospitals running smoothly, while doctors (like generals) get most of the credit.
Sounds like one helluva broad! I'm truly sorry you didn't have more time with her.
hamsterjill
(15,220 posts)She sounds like she was light years ahead of her time.
It is so wonderful for us to have people such as your Nanny in our lives. Unconditional love is a cherished and rare commodity.
I'm sorry she has left you. I wish you and your family peace and comfort.
Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)Thank you. She was special and made me feel special.
Sissyk
(12,665 posts)Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)brer cat
(24,559 posts)I'm sure you will feel a terrible loss, but your memories will be priceless.
My sympathies to you and your family.
diva77
(7,640 posts)and so wonderful that you had such a loving grandmother with plenty of moxie to go around!
spooky3
(34,439 posts)She sounds like a wonderful person.
Behind the Aegis
(53,951 posts)She was, strange to use past tense, a wonderful woman.
NanceGreggs
(27,813 posts)She sounds like a wonderful woman.
herding cats
(19,564 posts)Your memorial of your Nanny here touched my heart deeply, BtA. She was an all to rare jewel of a person, and my heart is breaking for your loss tonight.
My deepest condolences to you and your family. My thoughts are with you.