Hey, Trumpy!!!
I just wanted to help you prep for your meeting with Putin tomorrow. You remember him, right? He’s the guy you said you met, then said you never met, then said you met, then said you didn’t meet.
First, bring a thank you note. Remember that you wouldn’t be in office right now if it wasn’t for his assistance. A handwritten note would normally be appropriate here – but having seen your “tweets”, you might want to have someone who can put two coherent sentences together help you compose something that won’t be misconstrued as the ramblings of a backwards six-year-old. Oh - and use a good pen, not a crayon.
The world is watching, so do your best to not grovel at the man’s feet while extolling his many virtues. A simple “I admire you and everything you stand for very bigly” will suffice. There is no need to include words or phrases that make it even more obvious than it already is that you are his biggest fan. Leave the leather collar and leash at your hotel room (assuming you’ve managed to get a room), and cover-up the “I’m Putin’s Bitch” tattoo. He, along with the rest of the world, already know you are his bitch, so there’s no need to advertise.
Double-check your list of the highly classified information you intend to hand over to your BFF. There’s nothing more humiliating than furnishing our nation’s enemies with inaccurate or out-dated information.
DON’T brag about your electoral “win”. Putin knows better than anyone exactly how that “win” was accomplished. He doesn’t need your inane recap of the bleedin’ obvious.
Keep the conversation light and casual. DON’T ask about the “pee tapes”, or opine on how Russian hookers are always willing to have their pussies grabbed by an ugly, lard-assed narcissist with a miniscule dick.
DON’T try that “I’m stronger than you are” handshake. Putin is waaaay stronger than you are, or will ever be. That’s because he has a functioning brain – and you apparently don’t.
Be sure to remind your Supreme Lord & Master that you are, and always will be, his subservient slave. He loves that shit – and obviously, so do you.
DON’T be afraid to point out to your Supreme Lord & Master how willing you’ve been to commit treason against your own country in order to please him. He might – might! – just be moved to NOT laugh at your stupidity – but that’s doubtful. I'm pretty confident that he'll laugh his ass off.
If you feel compelled to actually lick Putin’s ass, please make sure that there are no cameras filming the act. Even your dumb-ass base will have a hard time explaining how your tongue exploring his anus is merely “business as usual”, or is a sign to your faux-Christian supporters that you were obviously chosen by God to lead a nation.
DON’T mention all of the phone calls, the meetings, the “seeking to communicate through back channels” stuff that’s tightening that noose around your incredibly fat neck. If the topic comes up, remember that “playing dumb” has always been your strong suit.
Stay strong. Don’t let your natural idiocy interfere with your desire to sell your fellow citizens out to a foreign, adversarial power. When you speak, remember that a teeny-tiny portion of the world still finds you credible – so play to them (and do it quickly, because that's a rapidly disappearing audience.)
Above all else, DON’T EVEN HINT that Putin is a stupid, ill-informed, illegitimately “elected” leader who cares nothing for his people and is only interested in serving his own personal interests. That’s YOUR schtick – so don’t let him steal your act.
In any event, good luck, Idiot Boy. We all look forward to the “fake news” you’ll be spewing by this time tomorrow. If only you were smart enough to realize that your “fake news” has even less credibility than your so-called “pResidency”.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Another hit from Nance! 
Putin knows better than anyone exactly how that “win” was accomplished.
Getting up off the floor 
