Trump Signs Contract with Putin to Operate U.S. Military

[MineralMan]

In a surprise move at the G20 summit, Fake President Donald J. Trump appears to have signed documents in a private meeting that handed over the operation of the entire United States Military to Russia, with an undisclosed payment to cover the costs of this off-shoring transition. Vladimir Putin, according to multiple Russian-speaking sources close to the G20, said, in halting English, "How good of you, Donald. We will take very good care of your military, indeed."

Fake POTUS Trump broke out in a broad grin following the signing and reportedly said, "Well that's a big load off my shoulders. Good old Pooty-Poot." Reaction is mixed at the Pentagon, however, with Staff Officers trying to decide whether to pack up their desks or wait it out and see if they could get hired on. Rumor has it that there has been a rush on language-learning materials, though.

[ProudLib72]

1. Why not?

I'm willing to bet that Pootie has had our nuclear codes for some time now. This will free up tRump's schedule so he can get in more golf and run his real estate empire.

[HipChick]

2. I can only hope there that is a command process

to change them...as I don't doubt this..

[MineralMan]

5. On a serious note, I don't believe the President has

actual access to those codes, which change on a daily basic and are kept locked up. Since Trump became PINO, though, I've heard rumors that the briefcase called "The Football" has been converted to a jack-in-the-box device designed to startle The Donald should he attempt to activate a nuclear attack.

[PJMcK]

7. Or perhaps...

..."the football" has been replaced with something similar to those Russian dolls where one is nested inside one after another. By the time Trump has opened each briefcase, he's forgotten what he's doing.

[MineralMan]

3. Why not, indeed. The Fake Donald wants to privatize everything

he can, and the Russians have great experience in operating a military force. It makes good sense, really. The Russians will probably cut salaries and lower the overall cost of operations, too. What a bargain, eh?

[Gothmog]

4. I am hoping that this is satire but it is so hard to tell now days

[MineralMan]

6. Hmm...

[riversedge]

8. GEESH!!

[YCHDT]

9. few would be shocked