Trump Boys Sadly Release Pet Alligator Into Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON—Forced to set loose their best friend in the whole world, the Trump boys on Thursday sadly released their pet alligator into the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

“Sorry, buddy, Dad says we can’t keep you anymore,” said a tearful Eric Trump as the brothers unlatched the cage containing the 900-pound American alligator, assuring the animal that he’d be happier swimming free in the waters of the National Mall than being cooped up in a White House bathtub.

“It’s not your fault you took a chomp out of that stupid ol’ Resolute desk. But we’ll come back and visit real soon, don’t you worry. Now go on and get before we change our mind. Go on now.”

At press time, the Trump boys realized they were in trouble all over again after the alligator dragged newly appointed Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch into the water and devoured him.

http://www.theonion.com/article/trump-boys-sadly-release-pet-alligator-lincoln-mem-56620

[Tanuki]

1. Nah, they don't have enough empathy to do that.

The sociopathic Trump spawn would have killed it and posed for a grisly post-mortem photo op, as they did with this crocodile who was minding his own damn business in Zimbabwe until they came along and snuffed out his life for the pleasure it gave them to do so.

[Raster]

2. I'd like to see some of the pix where the croc wins...

...and devours one of the great blight hunters.

[smirkymonkey]

3. If only!

Life is so unfair.