Juggaloes v. Alt Right: Will hilarity ensue?
From Spin
http://www.spin.com/2017/08/juggalo-march-on-washington-pro-trump-rally-conflict-september-16/
A Pro-Trump Rally Is Now Scheduled at the Same Time, Place as the Juggalo March on Washington
In the comparatively innocent political days of just last summer, Insane Clown Posse announced plans for the Juggalo March on Washington. The stated purpose: to protest the FBI’s characterization of the group’s fanbase as a “hybrid gang” and stand up for juggalos’ rights as Americans. The march is scheduled for noon on Saturday, September 16 on the National Mall in Washington, D.C.
Several months of political turmoil later, the Juggalos face some competition. As MetalSucks points out, a pro-Trump gathering called the Mother of All Rallies has scheduled itself at the opposite end of the National Mall on September 16. “Rally participants will demand protection for traditional American culture while they express their love for the United States and the America First agenda,” the MOAR’s organizers claimed in a press release. On its website, the MOAR lists co-sponsoring groups affiliated with the “alt-right,” including the Proud Boys and the Alt Knights.
Hilariously, MOAR also bills itself as the “Woodstock of American Rallies.” The musical lineup so far consists of Madison Rising, a band you may remember for a spectacularly bad rendition of the national anthem at Daytona a few years ago.
A chance for evil-on-evil violence or a rare comic moment?
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Juggalo Night Court
Juggalo loyalty runs deep. On Wednesday night we met a woman who had recently traveled alone to Hawaii who ended up spending most of her time with a pair of ICP fans whom she had never previously met. So most fam-i-ly squabbles at the Gathering are resolved quickly and easily. Juggalo Night Court, returning after a seven-year hiatus, is for the tension that run deeper — "I know one of y'all had a friend who farted in the car on the way here," the bailiff said in his call for cases. As it turned out, the first case was supposed to involve a young man suing a young woman (referred to only as "Dumbass"
for dissing court judge and festival whipping boy Upchuck without realizing he was standing right in front of her. Their case was thrown out in favor of Maggie Malone vs. Beefy. Beefy, however, was nowhere to be found. In a twist that we assure you seemed remarkable at the time, it turned out that "Beefy" and "Dumbass" were in fact the same person. She never appeared.
The Awesome Juggalo Night Court Sentencing
Naturally, every single possible Juggalo Night Court punishment parked its RV in the area where "Cruel" and "Unusual" overlap. But none captured the spirit of the Gathering more than the punning "Permanent Peon," in which the winner got to draw Sharpie dicks all over the loser's body. Other contenders: "Dunk Tank" (self-explanatory), "Honey Chicken," which we never saw but can assume was awesome, and "One vs. All," where three people hit the losing party with foam bats until he or she falls down. "Your eye's a little puffy, bro," commented the bailiff at the conclusion of one of those.
