The Romney Re-Write of the 10 Commandments
And Romney spoke all these words, saying: “Behold, I am your Savior, who will bring you out of the land of the GOP economic bondage we put you in and want you to stay in."
You shall have no saviors other than me.
You shall not make for yourself any image, or any likeness that doesn't flatter me. For I, the Lord your Savior, will visit the iniquity of the law on the smartypants, free loaders and stinkin' liberals who hate me, but show mercy to the billionaires and millionaires who love ME and put ME in the office I deserve.
You shall not take my name in vain, for I will punish he who does by sending your crappy job to China.
Remember the Mormon Sabbath and keep it wholly a day to remind yourselves of the rotten luck you've had not to be me. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, and on the seventh day of the Mormon Sabbath, you'll work too. For over 30 years the GOP have made this country a piece of shit for a reason and you alone will pay for the taxes that we want you to pay so that we can have even more money and start even more wars. Therefore your Savior and the GOP bless the fact that you are all working your asses off. Keep up the good work suckers!
Honor your father and your mother, (and borrow money they don't have to go to college or to open a business you don't want). Pay them back-retroactively
You shall not murder. But if you do, make sure its to make more money and only admit it, retroactively.
You shall not commit adultery. Leave that to the rich guys. But if she/he asks, acknowledge it - retroactively
You shall not steal. But if you do, or if you're caught, or if you're convicted-pay the sum back - retroactively
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Unless you have a shitload of money for TV ad's. Admit the truth - retroactively
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.” You should already have the best of everything and if you don't you must be a social douchebag. So go ahead and screw the maid - apologize retroactively
The above 10 commandments need no explanation. They mean exactly what they are saying. It’s quite amazing how many of these commandments are being broken on a regular basis, even by Christians themselves. These 10 commandments are good, basic, moral laws that will help keep you out of trouble with yourself, family, friends, and neighbors. I alone know what is best for you and simply you want to stay out of trouble in order that I may be able to live in peace, prosperity and harmony with my richer than snot brethren.
Feel free to pass this list of the 10 commandments onto your friends and family.
Your Friend,
Mitt
