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Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 02:25 PM Jul 2012

A birthday club for children who don't get parties

Just thought some good news was in order.....

ROCKFORD, Ill. • Vicki Benson was shocked when she learned some children in Rockford have no birthday parties.
They have no cake, no cards, no gift, not even an acknowledgement that they're a year older.
To Benson, who grew up with a mom who made birthdays a daylong celebration, that situation had to be fixed. She had an idea — a birthday club for underprivileged kids — named after her mother, Rosemary Musick.
The plans for Rosie's Birthday Club grew in Benson's mind until one day three years ago, when a friend had heard enough. Barb Verni-Lau reached into her pocketbook, pulled out $25 and said, "Here. We're going to the Northwest Community Center and we're going to do it."
That was the first party thrown by Rosie's Birthday Club under the sponsorship of Benson and a group of volunteers. The monthly events are for kids at Northwest Community Center, Carlson and Second Congregational Boys and Girls clubs, Rock House Kids and Shelter Care Ministries. Last month, the club reached a milestone by celebrating birthday number 1,000.
Each month, a Rosie's Club volunteer shows up and gathers the kids who have birthdays that month. They decorate birthday hats and get ready for another Rosie's emissary who shows up with a big cake. Of course, there are presents, too, a gift for each child purchased from wish lists compiled by the children.

Read more: http://www.stltoday.com/news/state-and-regional/illlinois/a-birthday-club-for-children-who-don-t-get-parties/article_11ed7b80-4111-5e3d-be0b-82837aada951.html#ixzz20iVrOYAi
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A birthday club for children who don't get parties (Original Post) Sherman A1 Jul 2012 OP
K&R murielm99 Jul 2012 #1
Happy Birthday!!!!!!!! elbloggoZY27 Jul 2012 #2
cool idea. Liberal_in_LA Jul 2012 #3
that is nice. but the reason they don't have birthday parties is because their families don't have HiPointDem Jul 2012 #4
You are absolutely correct Sherman A1 Jul 2012 #5
it may not be lost on them, but it won't change their life trajectory on average. because contrary HiPointDem Jul 2012 #8
I agree with the other poster nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #11
Charity has been around since the roman empire and before. It doesn't make anything better in HiPointDem Jul 2012 #15
What do you want these ladies to be doing nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #17
I was one of those kids. When I grew up, I never had a birthday party. progressivebydesign Jul 2012 #6
there is a reason we can't have both if money & time are tied up in 1) and few people are doing 2). HiPointDem Jul 2012 #7
Who is being demonized here? nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #12
no one is being demonised in the op, and my post is knocking no one. i am commenting on the HiPointDem Jul 2012 #14
Either you have a hard time articulating your position or I'm just not following you., nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #16
oh, look: the birthday club has "partners and sponsors"! HiPointDem Jul 2012 #19
OMG! You mean money doesn't magically appear? nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #20
well, it seemed to in the article originally posted... one lady & $25 bucks! sure sounded like she HiPointDem Jul 2012 #22
So write the paper and demand a correction nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #23
i'm correcting the record here. HiPointDem Jul 2012 #24
Huh? nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #26
I'm sorry, I just think you are wrong about this... ljm2002 Jul 2012 #18
yes, having other people pay for and organize their kids' parties must relieve their guilt immensely HiPointDem Jul 2012 #21
I wonder as well nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #25
Agreed Sherman A1 Jul 2012 #27
lol. it was quite clear what i was saying; you just don't want to hear it, is all. people who HiPointDem Jul 2012 #30
Most of the kids I've known who don't have parties proud2BlibKansan Jul 2012 #9
70 years of no birthday celebrations.......... mrmpa Jul 2012 #10
That's a beautiful story. nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #13
And in that lies Sherman A1 Jul 2012 #28
Agreed nobodyspecial Jul 2012 #29
 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
4. that is nice. but the reason they don't have birthday parties is because their families don't have
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 02:38 PM
Jul 2012

income or jobs, and the effects of chronic unemployment/chronic poverty are debilitating to family life.

rather than spending so much time and effort on ameliorating the effects of poverty and joblessness, i'd like to see more people fighting for jobs and against the concentration of income.

it's nice that the kids got a birthday party, but what difference does it make in the long run, to them or to society?

less charity, more jobs.

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
5. You are absolutely correct
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 02:45 PM
Jul 2012

and I completely agree with your point. Yet, this is a terribly nice thing that this lady & her group does and should be applauded. She saw a problem and tried to do the best she could to help some children in need, she is one of the "better angels."

I must disagree with your comment regarding the difference it makes in the long run. Children know that someone cares and is trying to do something for them, I guarantee that will not be lost on them.

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
8. it may not be lost on them, but it won't change their life trajectory on average. because contrary
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 03:02 PM
Jul 2012

to popular mythology, our life trajectory is mostly determined by the overall shape of our society, not by someone "doing something nice" for us as children.

i'm not dissing these women. but i'm tired of living in a supposedly rich society that needs so much charity.

nobodyspecial

(2,286 posts)
11. I agree with the other poster
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 03:19 PM
Jul 2012

We can multitask and focus on the root of these problems, but it is quite obvious that these problems will not be solved within the next year or two with the wave of a wand. So, in the meantime, if a birthday party gives a child some joy, why not? Should we tell these young children, sorry about your birthday but we are focusing on "big things." If we work hard enough and overlook you, maybe your child can have a happy birthday. For some, this may be the best memory of their entire childhood. Why take that away from them?

I highly doubt these women who are throwing birthday parties would be out there fighting in the streets if they were not so distracted by these parties. Although you say you are not dissing these women, it really sounds that way. And instead of railing at the injustice in society and what should be, these women are taking concrete steps to make their corner of the universe a little brighter. Today. They should be applauded.

They have faced the reality of the way things are, not what they should be or could be, and are taking action. Perhaps if more of us took this approach, focusing on what the poor need now to make their life better, things would get better both short-term and long-term.

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
15. Charity has been around since the roman empire and before. It doesn't make anything better in
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 03:46 PM
Jul 2012

the long term; it never has and it never will.

Meanwhile, the percentage of poor keeps growing.

oh, and -- "fighting in the streets" is not the only way to fight the growing corporatization of all life and the growing concentrations of wealth and power.

nobodyspecial

(2,286 posts)
17. What do you want these ladies to be doing
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 04:01 PM
Jul 2012

instead of wasting their time making some kid's day?

On edit: I clearly stated birthday parties or other types of charity were NOT a long-term solution.

it is quite obvious that these problems will not be solved within the next year or two with the wave of a wand. So, in the meantime, if a birthday party gives a child some joy, why not?

Perhaps if more of us took this approach, focusing on what the poor need now to make their life better, things would get better both short-term and long-term.

progressivebydesign

(19,458 posts)
6. I was one of those kids. When I grew up, I never had a birthday party.
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 02:50 PM
Jul 2012

We lived in a motel a few times, and had to move out of our apartments in the middle of the night, leaving everything behind. We had weekends where we lived on nothing but a box of pancakes...

And I have to tell you... when those do-gooders gave us a box at Christmas with gifts, it stayed with me the rest of my life! It is why I am philanthropically-minded. I remember those kindnesses. We had hand me down clothes, and other things given to us, and it DOES make a difference to the kids. And it's a separate issue to the jobs. Not all kids who live like that are living that way because of jobs going overseas and such. Sometimes the kids suffer because of parent addictions and bad decisions.

That's all.. I see your point, but there is no reason we can't have both things.

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
7. there is a reason we can't have both if money & time are tied up in 1) and few people are doing 2).
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 03:00 PM
Jul 2012

and when the media highlights 1) and ignores or demonizes 2).

there is an opposite story to yours, & that's the story of humiliation through charity. i've heard those stories too.

i take your point, but there are other views.

nobodyspecial

(2,286 posts)
12. Who is being demonized here?
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 03:25 PM
Jul 2012

Sure we should aim for equal access to opportunities so charity is not necessary, but in the meantime, why not be of comfort to those in need.

Why are you knocking people for their efforts just because your opinion is that it is not the right course. So, you do your thing and they can do theirs. The likelihood of them joining your course of fixing things -- whatever that is because it isn't clear here -- is as likely as you joining theirs. You think the nice ladies throwing parties are going to join the front lines of Occupy? Many paths can lead to the same ends.

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
14. no one is being demonised in the op, and my post is knocking no one. i am commenting on the
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 03:38 PM
Jul 2012

penchant for publicising such charitable efforts while ignoring the larger field and the reasons charity has become more and more needed.

no, charity will not lead to any ends but more charity. the history of charity goes back to rome. it ameliorates & thus supports the status quo.

Rockford has the highest child poverty rate in the state at 34 percent. Chicago is second at 31 percent, according to a nonprofit group called Voices for Illinois Children.

Read more: http://www.stltoday.com/news/state-and-regional/illlinois/a-birthday-club-for-children-who-don-t-get-parties/article_11ed7b80-4111-5e3d-be0b-82837aada951.html#ixzz20isuj9fl

More than 1/3 of the children in that community grow up in poverty. It might be a good idea to investigate the reasons.

nobodyspecial

(2,286 posts)
16. Either you have a hard time articulating your position or I'm just not following you.,
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 04:00 PM
Jul 2012

From your post: "there is a reason we can't have both if money & time are tied up in 1) and few people are doing 2).
and when the media highlights 1) and ignores or demonizes 2)."

The poor are not being ignored or demonized in this story, as you admit. So, what is your point? It seems contradictory.

I can easily tell you why you see these types of stories appear in papers more than long treatises on the root causes of poverty. On e is space. You can tell this story in about 8 column inches. The other would require an entire pullout section. Editors also consider what the audience wants. This is a simple story that makes people feel good. Very few readers can understand or want to read about poverty, socioeconomic theories or alternative economic systems. If they do, they will be reading books, not relying on the newspaper.


"no, charity will not lead to any ends but more charity."
Charity leads to the very specific ends of making a person or a family's life better. And, you have no idea how that will ripple forward in society. Your idea seems to be to let people suffer until we change society.

"the history of charity goes back to rome. it ameliorates & thus supports the status quo."
And that statement proves what a very, very long wait these kids will have to enjoy a birthday party. If we have not come up with a system that eliminates the need for charity in hundreds of centuries, what makes you think anything is on the horizon? What solution do you have? What should people be doing?

I would be very angry and agitated all of the time living in a world of could have been's and should be's.

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
19. oh, look: the birthday club has "partners and sponsors"!
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 04:05 PM
Jul 2012

I knew it wasn't just some nice lady; publicized efforts like this seldom are.

Rockford health systems, swedish american health system, american advertising federation of northern illinois, 5th 3rd bank, the regional community foundation...

as if they didn't have enough money, there's also the 'events' fundraising:

September 27th 5pm - 8pm
Radisson Hotel & Conference Center
Rockford, IL

$40 in advanced
$50 at the door.

Celebrities:
Mark Bankord - Heartland Church
Andi Brooks- ZOK in the Morning
Dr. Cyrus Oates
Kelly Epperson - Happiness Club
Einar Forsman - President /CEO Rockford Chamber of Commerce
Joe Bruscato - Winnebago County States Attorney
Kimberly Nelson - Fox TV
Georgette Braun - Rockford Register Star
Dola Gregory - Executive Director ROCKHOUSE KIDS
Dr. Kathleen Kelly -Chief Medical Officer for Swedish American HospitalNews & Events

http://rosiesbirthdayclub.org/newsandevents.html

nobodyspecial

(2,286 posts)
20. OMG! You mean money doesn't magically appear?
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 04:08 PM
Jul 2012

What is your point?

Why not start your own counter organization to stop birthday parties for poor kids?

BTW, you still haven't addressed most of my points or questions but excellent effort at sidetracking the discussion.

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
22. well, it seemed to in the article originally posted... one lady & $25 bucks! sure sounded like she
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 04:09 PM
Jul 2012

& her friends were footing the bill.

nobodyspecial

(2,286 posts)
23. So write the paper and demand a correction
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 04:11 PM
Jul 2012

I still don't get the fact that they have local sponsors makes the parties more evil and sinister.

ljm2002

(10,751 posts)
18. I'm sorry, I just think you are wrong about this...
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 04:02 PM
Jul 2012

...it can be life-changing for a child to know that someone cares enough to do this for them. Particularly the part where they each get to compile a wish list and actually get some of the presents.

Also, it does help the family. Don't think for a minute that those parents don't feel guilty that they cannot get their children treats, or have birthdays for them and get them things they want.

It's a direct sort of giving. Not everyone is going to act on the bigger political aspect. Let these kind hearted people do good in their own fashion. God(dess) knows there's enough to be done, at every level. Don't denigrate someone who has taken action. I'll bet the kids who got birthday parties, who would not have otherwise, if they were to read your response here -- would wonder what in hell you're going on about.

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
21. yes, having other people pay for and organize their kids' parties must relieve their guilt immensely
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 04:08 PM
Jul 2012

nobodyspecial

(2,286 posts)
25. I wonder as well
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 04:17 PM
Jul 2012

And trying to nail down a point has been proven quite fruitless.

But, here is what I've been able to piece together.

People shouldn't bother with acts of charity since it just perpetuates an unfair system. Rather, all money and time should be given to changing the system and those with needs, even children, must simply suffer in the meantime. How the system should be changed and exactly what people *should* be doing is never made clear. However, they better get busy since charity has existed since Roman times and we apparently haven't created a society in which charity has not been needed.

On edit: Getting sponsors or hosting fund-raisers to further charitable efforts is somehow bad.

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
27. Agreed
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 05:14 PM
Jul 2012

I just think some folks want to find the negative aspects of things and will do so no matter what is said. Pardon me for a moment....

Thank You

 

HiPointDem

(20,729 posts)
30. lol. it was quite clear what i was saying; you just don't want to hear it, is all. people who
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 10:52 PM
Jul 2012

are enamoured of charity seldom do.

mrmpa

(4,033 posts)
10. 70 years of no birthday celebrations..........
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 03:16 PM
Jul 2012

My Uncle was born on Christmas Day in 1930 (smack dab in the depression). When he turned 70, his wife (they'd been married about 12 years and had celebrated the birthday but no parties or other acknowledgement) had a huge surprise party for him, with friends and relatives from all over the US. He was near in tears, kept repeating, "I've never had a birthday party before."

If the celebration of one's birthday can bring a man of 70 to tears, think of the joy it brings a child.

nobodyspecial

(2,286 posts)
13. That's a beautiful story.
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 03:27 PM
Jul 2012

We never know what a kind word or act will mean in the lives of others. I remember a friend saying something in a discussion and she really didn't think much of it. But, it changed the course of my life and I never forgot. She was surprised many years later by what a profound effect it had.

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
28. And in that lies
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 05:17 PM
Jul 2012

the beauty of both the original story and the to which you responded above. We never know where a word, a phrase or an act of kindness will lead. Life is not perfect, it is not a straight line and hence we need to be as kind & as charitable as we can to one another because frankly, we are all we have.

nobodyspecial

(2,286 posts)
29. Agreed
Sun Jul 15, 2012, 06:10 PM
Jul 2012

and summed up so well in your sig line.

It's a shame this nice story got so sidetracked by somebody pissin' in the punch bowl.

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