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Initech

(100,041 posts)
Wed Aug 30, 2017, 12:58 PM Aug 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-12: Wheel Of Corruption: On Stranger Tides Edition

Last edited Tue Sep 5, 2017, 01:40 PM - Edit history (1)


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-12: Wheel Of Corruption: On Stranger Tides Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! The Top 10 Conservative Idiots has a +-1% in reliability over the leading Top 10 Provider. Switch today and save! We are back everybody! We got a lot of idiocy so I'll make the intro short this week. Can we talk about creepy clowns? I know I can't get enough of creepy clowns in the news, but the reboot of Stephen King's classic movie IT is coming into theaters this week. And it's caused a lot of controversy. Mainly in the clown community. Before we get into that, you know one corporation we support here is the Alamo Drafthouse, and they're having an all clown showing of IT the week after the movie's released complete with clown-related activities. But the movie IT has brought back something that has been on everyone's minds that really resurfaced big time last year - which is Coulrophobia - the fear of clowns. And the World Clown Association isn't having any of it. In fact they say it's detremental and counterproductive to the movement. Meanwhile I'm told there's an actual dating website for professional clowns - and many of them attribute their love of clowns. This is a bit hypocritical isn't it? Actual clowns love the original "IT", and are looking forward to the remake, but the World Clown Association isn't having any of it. This is making insanely good sense.



Something to get you in the mood! OK enough of the intro! But first Bill Maher is back and he’s got one of his best New Rules segments that he’s had in a while and destroys Trump:



God where do we begin after what happened on Friday? Well we’re going to bring back the Wheel Of Corruption which has been dormant for a while. Sheesh we saw Dictator Trump in his pure unfiltered form on Friday. In the first slot we’re going to talk about Trump’s pardon of Sheriff Joe and neither one of them will come out ahead in this one. In the second slot, we’re going to talk about Trump’s ban on transgender troops in the military escalating. In the third slot, we’re going to do a deep dive on Hurricane Harvey and Donald Trump’s (3) response to it. In the number 4 slot we were originally going to trash Joel Osteen for his decision to close the doors of his megachurch as shelter, but now we’re going to talk about the big “fuck you” that America’s religious conservatives delivered to the LGBT community called “The Nashville Statement”. In the number 5 slot is a group called “Patriot Prayer”. You might not have heard about the organization but they were in charge of the failed rally in San Francisco last week. In the number 6 slot we’re going to debut a new feature. This is called “Know Your Alt Right” – see we’re not here just to report the news but we’re going to educate you as well as entertain! So we’re going to talk about getting to know the Alt Right. In the seventh slot is a new installment of “This Fucking Guy” and this week’s “This Fucking Guy” is Trump’s closest advisor and guy who has his tin foil hat permanently sowed to his brain, Roger Stone (7). At number 8 is Alex Jones, and he has fucking lost it. I mean really the guy couldn’t be any more insane than he is this week. But we’re going to do something different – we’re going to show you Alex Jones rants, and then suggest the corresponding product from the Infowars store you should buy! At number 8 - the number 9 (NEIN!!!!!) slot we’ve got yet another installment of “People Are Dumb”. Because the stupid keeps coming, and wait until you see what ESPN did! Just… wow. And we will end this week with the next leg of our World Tour 2017. And for the first time since the World Tour began – we are heading to a new continent! This time we’re going on a safari as we head to South Africa! Plus continuing our tradition of having music representative of the country, we are going to end with the Johannesburg EP, as performed by Mumford & Sons featuring African musicians Baaba Maal & Beatenburg. This is a great EP by the way if you don’t have it it’s only a mere $5 on iTunes. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Come on everybody say it with me. It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!



The wheel is back everybody! And of course if we had a bigger budget we’d have our own graphics and theme music. Yes just like last time I’ll talk about whatever the wheel lands on. But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. So this week the items on the wheel will be:

- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Fundies Say The Darndest Things
- Whammy
- Community Chest
- Bankrupt
- Voter Fraud
- Nazis
- Booze
- Chance
- People Are Dumb
- Buy A Vowel
- Donald Trump
- My Wife
- Religion
- Bathrooms
- Double Whammy
- A Recent Study
- Guns
- World Tour 2017
- Music
- Twitter
- Whammy
- I Need A Drink
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- Pirates
- 10,000
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Talk Shows
- California
- Golf
- Twitter
- Fox News
- 15,000
- Polls
- This F**king Guy
- A Random Tweet
- Conspiracy Theories
- Russia
- Something random in the news
- Pirates!!
- ??? (Mystery)
- T-Shirt Cannon
- You’re Fired
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Clip without context!




No, there’s no need for “basic voodoo hypnotism”. Trump is doing a perfectly good job of demonizing himself, Lance. Spin it again! Donald Trump! so by now you know that Trump screwed the pooch big time by issuing a full pardon to embattled Sheriff Joe Arpaio – which is a slap in the face to all the prisoners who had to endure torture and humiliation under this fucking asshole.

Controversial former Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio was pardoned by President Donald Trump on Friday after being found guilty in July on criminal contempt charges stemming from his refusal to stop imprisoning suspected illegal immigrants.

"Sheriff Joe Arpaio is now eighty-five years old, and after more than fifty years of admirable service to our Nation, he is [a] worthy candidate for a Presidential pardon," the White House said in part in a press release.

Arpaio, an outspoken critic of undocumented migrants as well as an ardent supporter of Trump, appeared on the presidential campaign trail with the Republican candidate in 2016.

He was said to be under consideration for a pardon last week by Trump, and was all but promised clemency by the president during a rally in Phoenix on Tuesday.

Read more: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/controversial-arizona-sheriff-joe-arpaio-pardoned-president-trump/story?id=49426093




Yeah so there’s that. And as if it couldn’t get any worse. You know how the racists say they’re emboldened under Trump? Well they just got a whole lot more emboldened:

Editorial: Donald Trump said he was going to pardon former Sheriff Joe Arpaio. But knowing in advance didn't soften the blow to Latinos - and equal justice.

While America was talking about tearing down monuments that offend historically oppressed people, Donald Trump effectively erected yet another one.

His pardon of Joe Arpaio elevated the disgraced former Maricopa County sheriff to monument status among the immigration hardliners and nationalists in Trump’s base.

This erases any doubt about whether Trump meant to empower them after the violence in Charlottesville.

Arpaio is their darling. Arpaio is now back on his pedestal thanks to their president.

http://www.azcentral.com/story/opinion/editorial/2017/08/25/donald-trump-resurrects-joe-arpaio-irrelevance/604067001/




But there’s not just emboldening the racists – Trump just proved to Joe Arpaio that white collar crime not only pays, it pays big time! And of course he’s blaming Obama, because, reasons.

President Donald Trump’s pardon of convicted former Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio drew an immediate tweet of gratitude from the man he spared from a six-month jail term.

"Thank you @realdonaldtrump for seeing my conviction for what it is: a political witch hunt by holdovers in the Obama justice department," Arpaio wrote Aug. 25.

There is no question that Justice Department officials under President Barack Obama investigated and joined in legal proceedings against Arpaio, but were they driving the court process that led to his conviction on contempt of court?

The court record and legal opinion say Arpaio is pointing at the wrong people.
http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2017/aug/29/joe-arpaio/arpaio-falsely-ties-conviction-obama-administratio/




But Joe isn’t merely driving here – that’s the way he is every single day! And of course he’s considering running for Senate, because, reasons. Do not let this guy get in the Senate. Don’t do it Arizona!

PHOENIX — Just days after having his criminal conviction wiped out with a pardon, former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is weighing another bid for public office — perhaps against Jeff Flake.

The 85-year-old Arpaio acknowledged Monday that his inclination after being defeated last year and found guilty of criminal contempt was to simply retire into the background.

But Arpaio told Capitol Media Services he is entertaining various requests that he reenter political life. And the former sheriff said if he did, he might take on the incumbent U.S. senator who is seeking reelection next year.

Arpaio said any decision is not based on the fact that both Flake and John McCain, the state's other senator, were very critical of Friday's decision by President Trump to pardon him. But he did unload on both, saying they should have spoken to him about the underlying issue before making their statements.
http://azdailysun.com/news/local/state-and-regional/former-sheriff-joe-arpaio-considering-bid-for-senator/article_62fe1a2e-2eae-5db9-9911-0dfa2e406a52.html




That needs to be played again, because I can’t emphasize what a terrible idea this is:



That felt good! I could spend the whole edition on why pardoning Sheriff Joe is a terrible idea, but all you need to know is who’s defending him – our favorite ultra racist representative Steve King! Yup – racist birds of a feather flock together! And that can’t be good for anybody!

Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) on Monday defended former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona, who was convicted of criminal contempt of court for refusing to halt his immigration patrols but pardoned by President Trump.

“I don’t agree that profiling is wrong,” King told CNN’s Chris Cuomo. “In fact, if you would take profiling away from the tools of law enforcement, you couldn’t describe a criminal in any way whatsoever.”

King’s comments come hours after Trump defended his decision last week to pardon Arpaio. The former sheriff was convicted last month of contempt for disobeying a court order that he halt his office's racial profiling policies.

“There’s a difference between racial profiling and broader profiling with all of the descriptions that are there,” King argued in the Monday night interview.

Read more: http://thehill.com/homenews/house/348355-steve-king-defends-arpaio-i-dont-agree-that-profiling-is-wrong


Sigh… of course he doesn’t.




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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? That was a nice spin there, and it lands on… wait for it… Clip Without Context!




Sigh... Stop it. Just seriously... stop it. I don't even think Jesus knows what to say regarding your stupidity, Dave. Spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. We got to talk about the Phoenix rally. We won’t delve much into the hurricane coverage yet but we’ll keep an eye out for it for next week – mainly what Trump does. But for now let’s trash his rally from last week. And this is your regular reminder that Trump loves his crowd sizes!

(CNN)President Donald Trump was fuming as he sat in his Phoenix hotel watching news coverage ahead of his rally. The venue for his first rally in nearly three weeks looked empty.

That's when George Gigicos, Trump's longtime advance man, got a call from Keith Schiller, the director of Oval Office operations who is almost always at Trump's side, asking Gigicos why the crowds were scarce. Gigicos explained that while TV correspondents were live early from the venue, the rally wouldn't start for several more hours and crowds had just begun to trickle in.

Soon after, Gigicos heard from Trump himself. The President was irate, warning his former director of White House advance who had since returned to his private contracting business, that the venue better be full by the time he arrived, two sources familiar with the discussions told CNN as they described the scene and the President's reaction.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/29/politics/trump-phoenix-rally/index.html




I mean holy shit… and then there was this guy. Can we show this guy?



A familiar figure resurfaced at President Donald Trump’s campaign event in Phoenix, Arizona this week: Maurice Symonette, a.k.a. “Michael the Black Man,” could be seen on camera standing just behind the President, signature “Blacks for Trump” sign in hand.

Symonette captured the media’s attention during the 2016 presidential race after the Miami New Times noted that the frequent Trump rally attendee was a member of a defunct, violent black supremacist cult and had a checkered criminal history, including acquittal on two counts of conspiracy to commit murder. Although South Florida media have reported extensively on his ties to the Yahweh ben Yahweh cult and his promotion, via a radio show and multiple websites, of a bizarrely ahistorical and racialized worldview, Symonette always manages to land a prime spot behind Trump at the campaign events he attends.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/muckraker/blacks-for-trump-maurice-symonette-interview-trump-emancipator-2020-campaign




Yeah WTF lol. I mean really Trump couldn’t even get the one black guy right! And he’s a batshit crazy extremist as well! I mean really…



Well we might all be doing cannonballs in the streets of Houston. Because we do need to talk about the hurricane for a few minutes.



Really if you haven’t already – text Harvey to the Red Cross helpline at 90999 and help out if you can with a donation. Believe me they need it especially after seeing this:

The president addressed Hurricane Harvey victims like they were at one of his rallies at a public speech in Texas on Tuesday afternoon.

Trump said: ‘Thank you everybody, I just want to say we love you, you are special, we’re here to take care, it’s going well, and I want to thank you for coming out. We’re gonna get you back and operating immediately, thank you everybody — what a crowd, what a turnout.’
http://metro.co.uk/2017/08/29/trump-said-what-a-crowd-what-a-turnout-to-hurricane-harvey-victims-6888070/




Yup! While Houston is literally drowning, Trump is bragging about crowd size! And I’m sure that Trump’s handling of Hurricane Harvey has nothing to do with this:

Even before Hurricane Harvey hit Texas, with devastating impact on the infrastructure of a flooded Houston and other communities, the Trump administration was thinking and acting on flood-control policies.

Unfortunately, the president’s team was thinking about what corporate interests wanted, and acting on their behalf — even as specialists on flooding issues pleaded with the administration to do otherwise. On Aug. 15, Trump and his team overturned an Obama-administration rule requiring that infrastructure projects, including roads and bridges, be designed to withstand the consequences of climate change — such as rising sea levels.

Experts in climate change, coastal management and environmental policy begged the administration to maintain the Federal Flood Risk Management Standard for “climate resilience.” The concern crossed traditional lines of ideology and partisanship, as free-market economic groups and Republican members of the House praised the standard.
http://billmoyers.com/story/donald-trump-elaine-chao-sold-off-flood-control-policy-highest-bidders/




But there’s lots of things we could discuss related to the hurricane. Mainly this. This is why we can’t have nice things people! I mean really, Houston is drowning, and we’re discussing this shit?

Melania Trump is sparking controversy, yet again, with her latest outfit.

The first lady left Washington D.C. with husband President Trump on Tuesday en route to Houston, Texas, to assess damage done by Hurricane Harvey, and her ensemble raised quite a few eyebrows. Melania wore black cropped pants, a green bomber jacket and black stilettos as she exited the White House for Marine One.
https://www.aol.com/article/lifestyle/2017/08/29/melania-trump-sparks-backlash-texas-hurricane-harvey/23189459/




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Nice try Ann, that shit may have flown 15 years ago, but it ain’t working now! Yeah there’s that. And then there’s Ann Coulter playing the blame game:

It wouldn’t be a devastating storm without someone trying to blame the gays!

Yes, everyone, Ann Coulter is back at it. This time the right-wing media pundit is using Twitter to insinuate that “Houston electing a lesbian mayor” is a more likely explanation for Hurricane Harvey than climate change.

Yep, you read that right.

The mayor in question is Houston’s Annise Parker, one of the first openly gay mayors of a major U.S. city.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ann-coulter-hurricane-harvey_us_59a59bc2e4b084581a139315?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009




And then there’s this douchebag. Be careful what you tweet people!

The University of Tampa has fired a visiting assistant professor who suggested in a tweet that Hurricane Harvey's destruction is "instant karma" for Texas because it voted Republican.

Sociology professor Kenneth L. Storey posted the tweet and two responses on Sunday before removing the entire thread and his profile photo.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/florida/fl-reg-utampa-fires-professor-20170829-story.html





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… Polls!

Americans do not hold President Donald Trump in high regard, with most suggesting he is dishonest, unstable, prejudiced and selfish, according to a survey released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center. And the criticisms of the country’s 45th president do not end there, with a strong majority of Americans similarly indicating that they largely disagree with both Trump’s policies and his conduct since entering the White House.

A massive 66 percent said they agree with Trump on none, almost none or just a few of the issues facing the country today. Only 15 percent said they agreed with Trump on all or nearly all of the issues. Even among Republicans, the figure was just 31 percent.
http://www.newsweek.com/trump-president-unstable-prejudiced-poll-656579




Spin it again! And it lands on… wait for it… Bathrooms! Specifically, Donald Trump’s transgender military ban, which he thought he could slip by on Friday without anyone noticing. So what is Trump planning to do to our trans men and women who are serving our military? So here’s what happened.

President Donald Trump on Friday directed the military not to move forward with an Obama-era plan that would have allowed transgender individuals to be recruited into the armed forces, following through on his intentions announced a month earlier to ban transgender people from serving.
The presidential memorandum also bans the Department of Defense from using its resources to provide medical treatment regimens for transgender individuals currently serving in the military.
Trump also directed the departments of Defense and Homeland Security "to determine how to address transgender individuals currently serving based on military effectiveness and lethality, unitary cohesion, budgetary constraints, applicable law, and all factors that may be relevant," the White House official said.
The White House official who briefed reporters on the memo on Friday evening declined to say whether current transgender troops would be allowed to remain in the military under those policy guidelines.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/25/politics/trump-transgender-military/index.html




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Except this wont make America great again! In fact this is the opposite of make America great again! I mean how bad is it? Come on audience say it with me: HOW BAD IS IT?

Media reports about President Trump’s transgender military policy, which he formalized in a directive late last week, have cast the new rules as something less than an outright ban on transgender service. The Associated Press reported that the policy “gave the Pentagon the authority to decide the future of openly transgender people already serving” and that the president “appeared to leave open the possibility of allowing some transgender people who already are in uniform.” A New York Times headline blared that Trump had given Defense Secretary Jim Mattis “wide discretion” over the transgender ban. Indeed, some observers, including supporters of LGTBQ equality, seem to think the policy really isn’t so bad.

In reality, the new Trump policy is the worst of all possible worlds, in part because, like “don’t ask, don’t tell” before it, it’s been designed to be hard to fight in both the court of law and the court of public opinion. Like DADT, it will lose, but not before inflicting serious damage on both trans individuals and the military force-wide.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2017/08/29/why_trump_s_military_trans_ban_is_worse_than_dadt.html




Yeah it’s wrong all right. It’s wrong on so many fucking levels and it doesn’t take a five star general to figure this one out! I mean how much worse could it be?

Just days after a national address on defense policy in Afghanistan in which Trump lauded the diversity and inclusivity of the U.S. military, the White House appears ready to issue a memo with guidelines to begin barring transgender individuals from serving openly. The memo would signal the administration’s intention to follow through on the ban on transgender service members, announced via tweet on July 26.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the memo would give Defense Secretary James Mattis six months to implement the ban, the ability to consider “deployability” as grounds for separation, prohibit the coverage of transition-related health care and block the accession of transgender troops.
https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/analysis-could-trump-s-trans-military-ban-actually-become-policy-n795556




Yeah it’s that bad and it’s possibly getting worse! I mean all this is doing is accomplishing two things – the first is pissing off liberals. That we can all agree on. The second is placating to Trump’s base of hatemongers, racist uncles, and assholes. And yeah it’s even worse than we think! But the good news is that it’s being challenged and will hopefully go to SCOTUS:

Human rights groups filed two federal lawsuits Monday against President Trump and other top members of his administration, alleging that a ban against transgender people serving in the military is unconstitutional.

Plaintiffs include both transgender people who are currently serving in the military and transgender people who wish to serve but are no longer able to because of the ban.

"It is an unconscionable and unconstitutional breach of trust for the president to single out brave transgender service members and able recruits for discrimination," Human Rights Campaign National Press Secretary Sarah McBride said in a statement.
http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/08/28/546731931/2-lawsuits-challenge-trumps-ban-on-transgender-military-service





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[font size="8"]The Nashville Statement

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Entering the spin zone! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… A Random Tweet!





So much wrong here I don’t even know where to begin. Now if I remember my Republicanese correctly… as far as their grammar rules go – any words that are spelled alike may be spelled differently at random so sight / site, loiters / lotters, you know how it goes. Spin it again! How Is This Still A Thing?

Time once again for:



This week – marriage bigotry. How is this still a thing? So this week, America’s religious conservatives delivered the ultimate “fuck you” to America’s LGBT community by signing something called “The Nashville Statement”, or as we're calling it, the "Bigot Manifesto", which systematically defined the religious definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman, and nothing else counts. Well, fuck you, religious conservatives. Here’s more:

A coalition of evangelical leaders released a “Christian manifesto” Tuesday asserting their belief that marriage should be between a man and a woman, and condemning the acceptance of “homosexual immorality or transgenderism.”

The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood outlined the views in what it called “The Nashville Statement,” and offered it as guidance to churches on how to address issues of sexuality. A group of evangelical leaders, scholars and pastors endorsed the statement Friday at a conference in Nashville. It was initially endorsed by more than 150 people.

The “manifesto,” which is composed of 14 beliefs, rejects the idea that “otherwise faithful Christians should agree to disagree” on gay, lesbian and transgender issues. The leaders refer to this mentality as “moral indifference.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/08/30/evangelical-leaders-release-nashville-statement-on-sexuality-rejecting-gay-marriage/?utm_term=.9c156bdf4eb5




I think even Jesus himself would be pissed off that this bullshit is still happening, even in the wake of the 2015 SCOTUS decision. And we can all agree that nothing good comes from the word “manifesto”, does it? So religious conservatives have something in common with the Unabomber. Let’s go through some of this thing – it’s certifiably insane.

Evangelical Christians at the dawn of the twenty-first century find themselves living in a period of historic transition. As Western culture has become increasingly post-Christian, it has embarked upon a massive revision of what it means to be a human being.


Oh here we go – the persecuted Christian. Remember we asked how they were still a thing? And did they really need a preamble to this thing? This isn’t the fucking Declaration Of Independence. This is more the Dickwad Declaration. Let’s continue:

It is common to think that human identity as male and female is not part of God’s beautiful plan, but is, rather, an expression of an individual’s autonomous preferences. The pathway to full and lasting joy through God’s good design for his creatures is thus replaced by the path of shortsighted alternatives that, sooner or later, ruin human life and dishonor God.




I believe this document is dishonoring God because even he doesn’t know what to say regarding their stupidity. So let’s skip most of the preamble and get right to the articles. And in the interest of time and logic – something this document is against, we’ll skip around a bit. Article I:

Article 1
WE AFFIRM that God has designed marriage to be a covenantal, sexual, procreative, lifelong union of one man and one woman, as husband and wife, and is meant to signify the covenant love between Christ and his bride the church. WE DENY that God has designed marriage to be a homosexual, polygamous, or polyamorous relationship. We also deny that marriage is a mere human contract rather than a covenant made before God.


They could have just skipped a step and said “if you don’t believe what we believe, fuck you”. Article III:

WE AFFIRM that God created Adam and Eve, the first human beings, in his own image, equal before God as persons, and distinct as male and female. WE DENY that the divinely ordained differences between male and female render them unequal in dignity or worth.


Wait a minute – so are they for equality or against it? Sounds like they’re against it, as the typical white Christian male who cheats on his wife frequently would have you believe. Article 9 (NEIN!!!!):

WE AFFIRM that sin distorts sexual desires by directing them away from the marriage covenant and toward sexual immorality— a distortion that includes both heterosexual and homosexual immorality. WE DENY that an enduring pattern of desire for sexual immorality justifies sexually immoral behavior.


Isn’t this literally the same thing that was said in the first 8 articles? Why must it bear repeating? Like we said, you could have skipped a step and just said “fuck you”. Article 11:

WE AFFIRM our duty to speak the truth in love at all times, including when we speak to or about one another as male or female. WE DENY any obligation to speak in such ways that dishonor God’s design of his image- bearers as male and female.


Does that include when a good Christian man abuses his wife for doing feminine things? Answer me that, oh holy rollers! Finally there’s Article 14:

WE AFFIRM that Christ Jesus has come into the world to save sinners and that through Christ’s death and resurrection forgiveness of sins and eternal life are available to every person who repents of sin and trusts in Christ alone as Savior, Lord, and supreme treasure. WE DENY that the Lord’s arm is too short to save or that any sinner is beyond his reach.


Well… you know what they say about people with short arms and tiny hands…



So in the 24 hours since this document was released, even the mayor of Nashville is condemning this statement:






So the Mayor of Nashville denounced her own city’s “Statement” on bigotry and isolation rather than inclusion. That’s enough to make you ask – gay marriage bigotry:




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[font size="8"]Patriot Prayer
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Let’s give the wheel a spin shall we? Ooh that was a good strong spin there. And it lands on… wait for it…
Chance! Sweet, I get a “Get Out Of Jail Free” card.



I’ll just put that away for later. Spin it again! And it lands on… The Alt Right! Last weekend in San Francisco, there was a hate march being planned. Well, the alt right almost got away with it. Almost. They’ve been responsible for conservative “rallies” in Virginia, UC Berkeley, Evergreen College, and the one in Portland Oregon responsible for the stabbing deaths of two people on an MTA train trying to protect an Islamic girl from getting harassed by a free speecher. But… they’re not violent, folks! Here’s what happened to Patriot Prayer this week.

Hundreds of counterprotesters marched on the streets of San Francisco on Saturday, the same day that organizers of a right-wing group canceled their events and moved locations, saying they wanted to avoid a riot.

The pro-Trump group Patriot Prayer canceled the “Freedom Rally,” as city leaders braced for the kind of protest that drew extremist groups to Charlottesville, Virginia earlier this month. The Oregon-based group then planned to hold a news conference instead — but that, too, did not happen after the city blocked the venue from the public. Meanwhile, hundreds of counterprotesters gathered at a San Francisco park on Saturday morning and marched until the afternoon, according to media reports.

Hundreds of counterprotesters marched on the streets of San Francisco on Saturday, the same day that organizers of a right-wing group canceled their events and moved locations, saying they wanted to avoid a riot.

The pro-Trump group Patriot Prayer canceled the “Freedom Rally,” as city leaders braced for the kind of protest that drew extremist groups to Charlottesville, Virginia earlier this month. The Oregon-based group then planned to hold a news conference instead — but that, too, did not happen after the city blocked the venue from the public. Meanwhile, hundreds of counterprotesters gathered at a San Francisco park on Saturday morning and marched until the afternoon, according to media reports.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/08/26/a-pro-trump-group-canceled-its-rally-but-san-francisco-prepared-for-violence-anyway/?utm_term=.337399da9e2b




Of course they blame the left, because the GOP can never take blame for their own stupidity, so you blame somebody else! By the way, if you want to annoy a republican – simply correct them when they call it “The Democrat Party”. Because they look really stupid then! They hate that. They hate even more that they can’t carry their favorite symbols with them – tiki torches and… pets?

Alt-right protesters hoping to wave their apparently beloved tiki torches at the Golden Gate Bridge will be disappointed this weekend, as San Francisco's top cop says the blazing staffs, among many other items including firearms, bikes, and selfie sticks, will be verboten at the controversial "Patriot Prayer" rally scheduled for 2 p.m. Saturday at San Francisco's Crissy Field.

As reported Wednesday, Golden Gate National Recreation Area (GGNRA) Acting General Superintendent Cicely Muldoon announced the event's approval, despite the opposition of both local and national officials. "The National Park Service has a long and proud tradition of being the site of peaceful expressions of people’s views under the First Amendment to the US Constitution which guarantees everyone the right to gather together and express their opinions non-violently," Muldoon said. "We cannot deny a permit to anyone planning to exercise their First Amendment rights based on their political stance or beliefs."
http://sfist.com/2017/08/24/sfpd_chief_guns_tiki_torches_pets_b_1.php


And why bring dog feces into it? I mean let’s not make the park a biohazard here!

All the talk this week has been about a planned alt-right rally in San Francisco by the group Patriot Prayer, which is more or less just a Facebook group started by one guy, Vancouver, Washington-based activist and vlogger Joey Gibson. Gibson is an ardent Trump supporter and conservative, but he insists that he is not a white nationalist or white supremacist — he is not white himself, and is of Japanese descent — even though such elements have had a habit of making appearances at his rallies in Portland, Seattle, and elsewhere.

The possibility of neo-Nazis in our midst of the sort who gathered in Charlottesville last weekend has been freaking a lot of people out. And those who are in agreement with my op-ed earlier this week — saying that the left should not be giving these guys the photo op they want in front of the Golden Gate Bridge, doing battle with sticks or guns — have been trying to come up with creative protests of their own.
http://sfist.com/2017/08/18/dog_owners_to_dump_poop_on_crissy_f.php




Why bring your dog to a rally? What did your dog do to deserve that? Oh and this might be my favorite part of the rally.

AN FRANCISCO – Protesters opposing a right-wing gathering in liberal San Francisco claimed victory Saturday when the event was cancelled after city officials walled off a city park -- a move that the event's organizer said was more about silencing his group's message than preventing a violent clash.

Civic leaders in San Francisco -- a cradle of the free speech movement that prides itself on its tolerance -- repeatedly voiced concerns that the event organized by Patriot Prayer would lead to a clash with counter-demonstrators.

Joey Gibson, who is Japanese American and leads Patriot Prayer, said his group disavows racism and hatred and wanted to promote dialogue with people who may not share its views. He cancelled a planned rally Saturday at a field under the shadow of the Golden Gate Bridge after he said his members received anonymous threats on social media and feared civic leaders and law enforcement would fail to protect them.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/08/26/san-francisco-shuts-down-patriot-prayer-rally-by-walling-off-city-park.html




Well, to be fair, Trump at least got one wall built! Thank you! But this gets even better – unlike the last time the alt right blind sided UC Berkeley, this time the police and protestors were ready for them!

BERKELEY (KRON) — “No hate, no fear. Nazis get outta here.”

That’s what demonstrators are shouting at the Bay Area Rally Against Hate Sunday morning in Berkeley.

Protesters are carrying a variety of signs reading, “Always Antifascists,” “Impeach the Nazi,” “Drive Trump Out,” and other related messages.

Hundreds of people turned out for the event that is expected to last for most of the day.

Read more: http://kron4.com/2017/08/27/nazis-get-outta-here-anti-hate-rally-underway-in-berkeley/




And of course they’re blaming the left for violence, because reasons. Like the good liars that they are. I mean these people lie like it’s a bodily function!

SAN FRANCISCO — In an interview broadcast live on Facebook, organizers of an aborted "Patriot Prayer" rally originally scheduled for Saturday afternoon here blamed the left for the violence in Charlottesville, Va., and elsewhere.

“What you’re seeing here is a perfect example of the systemic oppression people of right wing thought and ideology have faced within these liberal enclaves,” said Kyle Chapman.

Chapman had been jailed in Santa Rita Jail in Dublin, Calif. after he was accused of taking part in violent brawls during pro-Trump and alt-right rallies in Berkeley in May. He was released on bail of $135,000 Friday night, he said during the interview.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/08/26/patriot-prayer-organizer-says-hes-willing-face-arrest-san-francisco/604899001/





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[font size="8"]Know Your Alt Right
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Ooh that was a good spin there! And it lands on… wait for it… something random in the news!

The most disturbing advice came via email from a member of the board of directors of the CBS Corporation, Arnold Kopelson, an Academy Award–winning producer who Griffin used to consider a friend. Kopelson emailed Griffin with a prewritten letter to President Trump that he said she should mail to him, and which Griffin shared with me.

The letter includes phrases like, “Now with my world crumbling around me, I am listening for the first time about the great things you have done and are doing. How stupid I was to follow the lies from the ‘Left.’ It took my terrible mistake to finally see the false news,” and “I do not deserve what I am asking of you. I am begging you to open your heart and forgive me.” Kopelson said that Griffin should “exclusively release the letter to Fox Broadcasting,” adding, “Do not send to the other networks.” “If you don’t do exactly what I’ve written, your career is over,” Kopelson wrote. A spokesman for CBS Corporation declined to comment. When I called Kopelson for comment, he said, “I’m tied up” as soon as I explained the reason for the call, and hung up the phone. Kopelson did not respond to a request for comment via email.

https://www.thecut.com/2017/08/kathy-griffin-donald-trump-interview.html?utm_content=buffer379ba&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer




Holy shit, these guys know how to hold a grudge don’t they? Spin it again! And it lands on… sweet! The mystery item! For this next entry we’re going to do something a bit different. Rather than make fun of current events – we’re going to educate you. In fact remember our 5 part lecture series last year on how to talk about Trump? Well this is only going to be one part for now, and we’re going to teach you how to Know Your Alt Right. For starters let’s get any lecture going with some terminology. So what is the Alt Right?

The alt-right, or alternative right, is a loosely defined group of people with far-right ideologies who reject mainstream conservatism in favor of white nationalism. White supremacist Richard Spencer initially promoted the term in 2010 in reference to a movement centered on white nationalism, and did so according to the Associated Press to disguise overt racism, white supremacism, and neo-Nazism. The term drew considerable media attention and controversy during and after the 2016 US presidential election.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alt-right


And then what is Kek? That is a term commonly associated with the Alt Right.

Kekistan is a fictional country created by 4chan members that has become a political meme and online movement. According to Ian Miles Cheong writing in Heat Street, the name is a portmanteau of "kek" and the suffix "-stan", which is Persian for "place of" (and the end of several names of actual Central Asian countries and regions), and Kekistanis identify themselves as 'shitposters' persecuted by excessive political correctness. He writes that "although there are undoubtedly some trolls that use the term, the online movement is fundamentally a politically incorrect reaction to the suppression of free speech". Self-identified Kekistanis have created a cultural mythology around the fictitious country, including a fictional history that includes the invasion and overthrow of the ancient kingdom by the nations of "Normistan" and "Cuckistan".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pepe_the_Frog#Kek


The Kek flag:



And the other term that is commonly associated with the alt right is the term “cuck”. What is a cuck?

"Cuckservative", often shortened to cuck, is a term of abuse, formed as a combination of the word cuckold and the political designation conservative. It has become an increasingly popular pejorative label used among alt-right supporters in the United States. The word "cuckservative" reached a high level of mainstream political conversation around mid-July 2015, where it gained media attention just a few weeks before the start of the first Republican primary debate for the 2016 United States presidential election. It has maintained its popularity, especially with the political rise, campaign, election, and presidency of Donald Trump.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckservative


Some other Alt Right Terms you should know:

Milk – The beverage of choice for the white supremacists who crashed Shia LaBeouf’s now shuttered art project. After Mic reported on the incident and referred to their gallons of whole milk as the new “symbol of white racial purity,” alt-right Twitter accounts began using the bottle of milk emoji in their user names.

Pepe the Frog – A cartoon frog created by artist Matt Furie for his 2005 comic strip Boy’s Club. The anthropomorphic frog was appropriated by white nationalists as their mascot, whom they often depict as a Nazi, a Klansman, Donald Trump, etc.

SJW – Short for “Social Justice Warrior”, SJW is a derisive term used by the reactionary right to describe feminists, anti-racists, proponents of LGBTQ rights, and other social progressives. Used interchangeably with other similarly derisive terms (e.g. Cultural Marxists).

White Genocide – A popular conspiracy on the alt-right alleging that immigration, interracial relationships, and abortion are being pushed on white countries to bring about the destruction of the white race.
https://angrywhitemen.org/cucktionary/




Easy answer to that question: YES! These people are insane. I’ve compared the alt right to Insane Clown Posse fans before, but this could easily debunk that comparison:

It’s easy to make fun of Juggalos, the oft-misunderstood fans of clown-painted rappers Insane Clown Posse, but some on the left are embracing them as a line of defense against white supremacy in the U.S. The Juggalo March on Washington, a protest against the government’s classification of Juggalos as a gang, will take place at the National Mall on Sept. 16, the same day as the pro-Trump “Mother of All Rallies.” There’s no love lost between the two sides.

“Let’s make sure we make more noise than those bitch Neo-Nazies, am I right? whoop whoop,” one poster wrote on the Juggalo March event page, which is full of communist and working-class Juggalo memes. It’s possible that internet socialists are the ones pushing the meme that Juggalos are the new communist vanguard, but the response on the page is mostly positive.
https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/juggalos-nazis-march-washington-dc/


Juggalos *AND* The KKK on the same day at the same time? Ooh, who has popcorn and beer?



But they even can’t get online bullying – the only thing they know how to do – right! I mean look at this!

Far-right activists are using fake Twitter accounts and images of battered women to smear anti-fascist groups in the US, an online investigation has revealed.

The online campaign is using fake Antifa (an umbrella term for anti-fascist protestors) Twitter accounts to claim anti-fascists promote physically abusing women who support US President Donald Trump or white supremacy.

Researcher Eliot Higgins of website Bellingcat found evidence that the campaign is being orchestrated on internet messageboard 4Chan by far-right sympathisers.
http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-41036631?ocid=socialflow_twitter


Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! They can’t even get that shit right! As if you needed any further proof that they’re deranged, even their leaders are liars and criminals! Like this guy – Based Stick Man:

“Kyle ‘Based Stickman’ Chapman, a 41-year-old Daly City man, could face up to eight years in state prison if convicted of the felony charge of possessing a lead pipe,” The San Francisco Chronicle reports.

Chapman was charged with possession of a “leaden stick allegedly used to hit counterprotesters during a pro-President Trump event in Berkeley,” which could carry an enhanced sentence under California law due to his prior felony robbery and grand theft convictions. Alameda County Superior Court Judge Mark A. McCannon set bail at $135,000 and required Chapman stay 300 yards from the weekend rallies in San Francisco and Berkeley.
http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/alt-right-icon-based-stickman-sent-to-jail-wont-spread-his-hateful-message-at-san-francisco-rally/




But here’s something really interesting – if you’re thinking about learning more about them by going undercover as one of them, uh, you should probably rethink that choice. As one guy found out:

As soon as Theo Wilson started making YouTube videos about culture and race, trolls using racial slurs started flocking to his page.

After engaging in endless sparring matches in the comments section, Wilson began to notice something curious: His trolls seemed to speak a language unto themselves, one replete with the same twisted facts and false history. It was as if they had all passed through some “dimensional doorway,” arriving from an alternative universe where history, politics and commonly accepted facts had been turned inside out.

There was the idea that slavery was a form of charity that benefited enslaved Africans; that freed blacks owned more slaves than whites before the Civil War; that people of color make up the majority of those receiving aid from America's safety-net programs; and that investor and philanthropist George Soros is funding protest movements like Black Lives Matter.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2017/08/24/a-black-man-went-undercover-as-a-digital-white-supremacist-this-is-what-he-learned/?undefined=&utm_term=.1dd7c91ec9f8&wpisrc=nl_headlines&wpmm=1





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[font size="8"]Roger Stone
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Let’s spin it to win it! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it’s another clip without context!



How about this – how about we don’t rely on douchebags who call themselves “coaches” for advice on how to live life? Oh and you think you’re so clever by saying “worship god, not government”. That’s quite possibly the stupidest thing that conservatives have ever come up with! Get the fuck out of here! Thank you! Spin it again! And it lands on… wait for it… This Fucking Guy!



This fucking guy this week is one of Trump’s senior advisors and a guy who has his tin foil hat permanently sown into his brain – Roger Stone. Yeah you might remember Roger Stone as the guy who wrote that scathing book on Bill Clinton back during the impeachment trial. And the GOP has held a 27 year grudge ever since. I mean really. So what did Mr. Stone do this week?

Roger Stone, a close confidant to President Trump and a former adviser to his presidential campaign, threatened Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) on Saturday over the senator’s objection to the president’s decision to pardon former Sheriff Joe Arpaio. “Karma about to get you, @SenJohnMcCain and you will burn in hell for all eternity,” Stone wrote on Twitter. Senator McCain is currently battling an aggressive form of brain cancer. Meanwhile, Stone will reportedly soon be interviewed by the House Intelligence Committee as part of that panel’s investigation of Russian meddling in the 2016 election.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/roger-stone-threatens-mccain-for-criticizing-arpaio-pardon




Holy fuck! Don’t mess with this fucking guy! So he’s basically saying if you don’t worship Trump 100% you will burn in eternal hellfire! I mean could he get any crazier? Short answer: Yeah. In fact Roger Stone’s remarks were so controversial that he was recently blacklisted by stoners, a group that he previously had a good repore with!

MIAMI — A group of marijuana activists is calling for a boycott of a major cannabis exposition because its keynote speaker next month will be Roger Stone, a longtime President Donald Trump adviser, infamous political trickster and longtime drug-decriminalization advocate.

Stone recently won praise from cannabis activists after announcing he would help lead a bipartisan group — with the help of Florida medical-marijuana godfather John Morgan — that’s dedicated to persuading the Trump administration to not penalize medical marijuana states and to consider rescheduling the drug at the federal level to recognize the therapeutic properties of cannabis.

But after Trump’s incendiary comments about the racial unrest in Charlottesville, Virginia — coupled with Stone’s history of making inflammatory remarks — four speakers and one sponsor of the Cannabis World Congress & Business Exposition say they’ll boycott if Stone speaks Sept. 13-15 in Los Angeles and at another expo event in Boston from Oct. 4-6.
http://www.politico.com/states/florida/story/2017/08/22/marijuana-activists-launch-roger-stone-boycott-john-morgan-stands-by-him-114056




Dude, what do you have to do to get blacklisted by stoners? I really want to know! In fact Roger Stone is batshit fucking crazy. He’s so crazy that he thinks a full on civil war will erupt if Trump is impeached:

Roger Stone, a former Trump campaign advisor who still counsels the President says if Congress impeaches Donald Trump, there will be all-out war in the U.S.

We got Stone at LAX Wednesday and he warned any politician who's thinking of voting for impeachment to think again, because their lives would be in danger.

He goes on to say "both sides" are heavily armed and bloodshed would be inevitable.

Some members of Congress, including Rep. Maxine Waters, are already pushing hard for articles of impeachment.
http://www.tmz.com/2017/08/24/roger-stone-impeach-trump-civil-war-violence/




Holy shit really! I mean this guy loves him some hyperbole doesn’t he? In fact he doubled down on his Civil War discussion:

Roger Stone, a former Trump campaign advisor and personal friend of the president, says if Congress votes to impeach President Donald Trump, there will be all-out Civil War in the U.S.

"The people who are calling for impeachment are the people who didn't vote for him. They need to get over it," Stone said to TMZ in an airport baggage claim on Wednesday this week.

"They lost. Their candidate had every advantage: They spent two billion dollars, we spent $275 million. Sorry, we whipped their ass. It is over. You lost," he said.

He added, warning: "Try to impeach him. Just try it. You will have a spasm of violence --an insurrection-- in this country like you have never seen before... Both sides are heavily armed, my friend."
https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2017/08/24/roger_stone_if_you_impeach_trump_get_ready_for_violence_our_side_is_heavily_armed_by_the_way.html




I mean how much worse could this possibly get? Well he hates people who criticize the president. In fact he has a zero tolerance for it:

President Donald Trump’s top economic adviser, Gary Cohn, should be fired immediately for publicly criticizing the president, Roger Stone, a longtime Trump confidante, told LifeZette Friday.

Cohn, the chairman of the National Economic Council, aired his disappointment with Trump’s reaction to a racist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, on August 12 that turned deadly.

"This administration can and must do better in consistently and unequivocally condemning these groups and do everything we can to heal the deep divisions that exist in our communities," Cohn told the Financial Times for a Friday story.
https://www.lifezette.com/polizette/roger-stone-gary-cohn-fired-immediately-criticizing-trump/




Roger Stone’s incompetence knows no boundaries. And he’s one of Trump’s closest advisors. That’s why he’s this weeks’ pick for:




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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Let’s spin it to win it! Ooh, that was a good strong spin there! And it lands on… no, a whammy!!!!




Spin it again! Ah, Infowars. Do I really have to talk about Infowars this week? Really? I don’t want to! Fine, make me! What??? I know you are but what am I? Takes one to know one! But mom!!! OK fine I will talk about Infowars. Well for starters, Alex is taking credit for Sheriff Joe’s pardon:

The 85-year-old son of Italian immigrants appeared on an Alex Jones Infowars broadcast via Skype on Tuesday and thanked Jones and other right wing media members for getting his story to the president. “ I want to thank you, Alex, and your staff, Jerry Corsi, Roger Stone, for bringing this story out and reaching the president. I supported him from, what, two years ago at the same forum that he did yesterday, and I’m with him and I’m with him to the end,” Arpaio said, in a clip of a longer interview that Jones teased Wednesday afternoon, according to progressive watchdog Media Matters for America, which monitors Jones’s broadcasts.

Jones accepted credit, saying: “It’s Dr. Corsi writing the articles, and it’s Matt Drudge picked him up, and the president saw it in Matt Drudge’s Twitter feed, and then said, ‘Is this true? I haven’t even heard of this on Fox.’ And he called [Fox News host Sean] Hannity up, and said, ‘Why aren’t you covering this?’”

Jerome Corsi is the Washington bureau chief for Infowars and has written a variety of conservative best-sellers, including Where's the Birth Certificate?: The Case that Barack Obama is not Eligible to be President . Arpaio was also a prominent “birther,” publicly refusing to believe that President Obama was born in the United States.
http://www.newsweek.com/trump-pardon-arpaio-alex-jones-infowars-matt-drudge-654341




Yeah there’s that. Now let’s get into much crazier stuff that Alex Jones has said this week, and we’re going to do something a bit different here. Allow me to channel my inner Alex Jones here for a minute and suggest things from the Infowars store that you ought to be buying.

Conspiracy theorist radio host Alex Jones told viewers that globalist forces are using “unwashed masses” of liberals to enact a mass genocide of his followers in order to advance a nefarious globalist agenda.

In a YouTube video posted yesterday, Jones told viewers that because he and his followers are resistant to a globalist agenda to systematically kill off the world population, a conspiracy is underway to use “giant unwashed masses” to execute them.

“Because we won’t euthanize them and because we won’t kill them, the eugenicists are using them and preparing them as lemming armies to run over us,” Jones said. “And they want to genocide us in an act of coming of age.”

Jones claimed that his audience’s “Christian ethos to not annihilate” the public is “being used by the very eugenicists” executing the conspiracy. He went on to claim that his off-the-record “globalist” sources had asked him to join in on their “orderly extermination of these people,” but he refused.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-globalists-are-using-left-wing-citizens-to-commit-genocide/




Allow me to get into character here… “WE GOT TO KEEP THIS OPERATION AFLOAT HERE PEOPLE!!!! I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE MONEY WE CAN GO THROUGH! INFOWARS CAN’T EXIST WITHOUT THE INFOWARS STORE!! BECAUSE THE GLOBALISTS DON’T WANT YOU TO HEAR THE TRUTH!!! SO TODAY WE’RE GOING TO SELL YOU THIS TACTICAL TIN FOIL WRAPPER FOR $59.99. BECAUSE THE GLOBALISTS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW THE TRUTH! IT BLOCKS EVIL DEMONS FROM FLOWING THROUGH YOUR LAPTOP OR DESKTOP!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!”. Whew. But there’s also this.

ALEX JONES (HOST): This is video shot by one of their fans where [Michelle Obama] looks like she's either got a rubber snake in her pants or she is -- could be a major porn star in Hollywood. And I'm not putting trannies down. So here's the deal. Joan Rivers said this and died, and none of the media will even cover that she had dinner with the Obamas. She was friends with them, and she was all for it, saying it's great that Obama's gay and that he's got a tranny wife. And it's a big joke on America. And then she died, but they don't ever show in the reports that I'm saying Joan Rivers said it. I was never sure. It was kind of a joke to me. I never created it. But now, there's footage they're trying to pull off the internet where, I guess, she didn't tuck it between her legs or whatever, like right out of The Silence of the Lambs.

Look, see it for yourself. Here's the footage. It's going to go to number one on YouTube. If they try to take it down, you know it's the end of free speech, because I'm covering what people are already covering, and here comes Michelle Obama walking like a man, looking like a linebacker, way bigger than Obama, big hands, big head, and man, I guess she's a devil then. Maybe it's a forked tail that's six inches long. That's it. Michelle Obama is a devil. I've already made that joke about Obama, but maybe it isn't, maybe it's a little forked tail. You decide, what is this hanging between her legs jiggling and flopping around? Here it is. She's adjusting it. I mean I've seen men my whole life, myself, adjust their packages.
https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/08/25/alex-jones-suggests-michelle-obama-has-penis-and-may-have-murdered-joan-rivers/217771




“WE GOT TO KEEP THIS OPERATION AFLOAT HERE PEOPLE!!!! I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE MONEY WE CAN GO THROUGH! INFOWARS CAN’T EXIST WITHOUT THE INFOWARS STORE!! BECAUSE THE GLOBALISTS DON’T WANT YOU TO HEAR THE TRUTH!!! SO TODAY WE’RE GOING TO SELL YOU THESE TACTICAL CONDOMS! ONLY $14.99 A SIX PACK, AND THEY SAY “9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB” ON THEM! IN FACT WE HAVE A SEX EXPERT TO TELL YOU MORE!!!” So Alex… sigh… I cant even begin to decipher how batshit crazy this one is. I mean.. Obama isn’t president anymore. Just let it go, man. But switching gears, let’s extrapolate Alex’s weird obsession with trans people. I mean he has it in for them.

ALEX JONES: What do you think the tranny stuff's about? First it’s, "Oh be nice to gay people in the military. Don't be mean to them." Sounds reasonable. Now, boom! It’s trannies! And let's teach sex changes, and give it to anybody you want in the military, and turn it into a giant factory of confusion that will sabotage human operations in the military -- ahead of the robots replacing everybody, which is all admitted. And then when you accept the trannies and the sex changes, well, you’ll accept the brain chips and everything else, which they're now admitting. They simply set a new goal post that sounds incredibly radical so that you'll accept everything else they were already pushing behind that. And then they can persecute the military and persecute one of the only human cultures left -- the male culture of war and defense -- and so they can go in and social engineer and take control of that. While they steal from the public all of our basic rights, they give you the right to be transmutantagenic, to end your humanity, because that's the biological revolution.
https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/08/07/alex-jones-says-accepting-transgender-people-slippery-slope-brain-chips/217542




And then there’s this – I mean really he’s losing it. Trying to decipher what he’s saying could cause one’s head to explode.

ALEX JONES (HOST): We've got insanity in this hour, into the next. We've got British man, 21, makes history by giving birth to baby daughter. When I read the headline in AP, Reuters, the Sun, I said, it'll be a woman that thinks she's a man that had a baby. And sure enough, it was. Because they haven't produced artificial wombs that work properly. They still got to use cows to grow humanoids and clones. So it's a woman that thinks she's a man that had sex with a man. She had a baby, but they say it's a man. It's fraud! It's not that I hate mentally ill people. If somebody wants to go be a woman or be a tranny, if it's a gay guy and wants to go pick up more guys, you want to go get breast implants and doll your hair up, knock yourself out. I'm all for freedom. But if you really think you're a man, and you're a woman, and you go and have a baby -- now let's show the baby bump -- and the media runs with it that a man had a baby -- no a woman had a baby. A woman had a baby. A woman had a baby. A woman! A woman! A woman! Just like male and female whales, male and female rabbits, male and female praying mantises, male and female bats, male and female tigers. Back up. This is mass mental illness saying that you're biologically a man when you're a woman and you've got a uterus. Again, it's like the South Park piece where he thinks he's a dolphin.
https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/07/10/alex-jones-says-transgender-women-are-gay-guys-who-want-go-pick-more-guys-getting-breast-implants/217193




And man he really is obsessed with transgendered people, isn’t he? But this might be one of the craziest things he’s ever said in regards to trans people:

I dealt at Access TV with a famous Austin transvestite, who died a few years ago, who they're talking about building a statue to, going in the bathroom, men and women, and vomiting all over the walls when they would do whatever they were doing in there. I mean, I'm talking about several transvestites cramming their way into the men's bathroom, the women's bathroom. You'd go in there to comb your hair before you went on air, there they were. And they finally got thrown out of there because of it and said it was because of discrimination because they were transvestites. No. It was because whatever they were injecting in there made them throw up all over - I mean imagine every week throw up all over the walls. And then I had an office by this guy. The bad luck is I had an office where we would look down, turned out he lived around the block, and I would have to watch him every day in the cheerleader outfit, through my office window, on the air, doing deals and stuff in cars and stumbling around everywhere. And then I'm not a trendy because I don't bow down. I had to go in there store, there was a grocery store next door... you know with crap dripping down his leg, stinking. And I'm supposed to just go 'oh, you're a trendy with rotten teeth hanging out of your head, and a weird bald head, you're in a dress. Here, here, here, here, please, please more diarrhea running down your leg.
https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2013/05/01/alex-jones-warns-against-transgender-people-vom/193856




“And now folks, we got to keep this operation afloat. You can buy from the Infowars store today – Infowars brand Tactical Adult Briefs! Need to go when you’re at a protest and you’re on the move and those evil liberals and transsexuals are coming after you and banned you from using their portable toilets? Grab a pair of these and you can go anywhere! I’m actually wearing a pair right now! Ah, that’s freedom, baby!!! What? No! They’re not diapers! They’re briefs! They’re briefs!!!!! They come in camouflage and It even says so right on the box! You can buy these for the low, low price of $23.99 for a box of 16 large ,14 extra large, or 12 extra extra large!”





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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Clip without context!



Oh no Bryan, we can't do that. There's this thing called the "First Amendment" that you should familiarize yourself with. It guarantees freedom of speech as well as religion and right to protest. GTFO my radio. Spin it again! And it lands on… People Are Dumb! Hit it!



So as you know by now people are people, and people are dumb. But first what happens when corporations are dumb? We got to start with this story coming from ESPN where a reporter who was going to cover the University Of Virginia’s football home opener this weekend, but was pulled because of a ridiculously stupid reason:

Following a social media backlash over ESPN moving announcer Robert Lee off the University of Virginia's home opener football game due to "the coincidence of his name," the sports network's president explained the decision.

"There was never any concern - by anyone, at any level -- that Robert Lee's name would offend anyone watching the Charlottesville game," John Skipper, ESPN's president, said in an internal memo obtained by CNN on Wednesday night. "Among our Charlotte production staff there was a question as to whether -- in these divisive times -- Robert's assignment might create a distraction, or even worse, expose him to social hectoring and trolling."

On Tuesday, ESPN switched Lee to the game in which Youngstown State University will face the University of Pittsburgh. The decision came following the violence that broke out earlier this month at a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, protesting plans to remove a statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee.
http://money.cnn.com/2017/08/23/media/espn-robert-lee-john-skipper/index.html




Sigh… this is why we can’t have nice things people. Next up – drugs! Is it any wonder why Montana was the runner up in our Stupidest State contest? It’s people like this woman who called 911 to complain she got bad meth. You know where’s Heisenberg when you need him?

"I do meth three times a day every day and have never had this reaction before," Margery Ann Dayrider told the police officer who arrived at her home, according to court documents.

Dayrider reportedly called 9-1-1 on Aug. 25 to report medical issues from injecting meth. When officers arrived at her home, Dayrider said she had injected her self at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. that day, according to charging documents. She also produced some meth from inside her bra and handed it over to police, who later tested the crystals and confirmed they were, in fact, methamphetamine.

Dayrider was charged with criminal possession of dangerous drugs, a felony. If convicted she could be sentenced to five years in state prison and fined $5,000.
http://www.greatfallstribune.com/story/news/crime/2017/08/28/woman-allegedly-reports-bad-meth-police/609315001/




So what’s next in People Are Dumb? I know – how about the world of pornography! Porn – that medium of choice for 14 year old males over going out and actually meeting real females since the 1800s! Well this user attempted to test the limits of Amazon’s unlimited cloud storage. This story brings up many questions, like where do you get 293 *YEARS* worth of porn? :

A Redditor has gone to extreme, X-rated lengths to test whether Amazon's "unlimited" cloud storage scheme was truly unlimited by flooding the service with around 293 years worth of porn.

Curious as to whether the retail giant's now-defunct offering had a hidden storage cap, Reddit user "beaston02" set about recording a whopping 1.8 petabytes of explicit "live cams" and uploaded the behemoth collection of adult streams to Amazon's cloud servers.

Amazingly, it appears that the user did not find a storage cap in Amazon's service, which the company shuttered in June. While he has since abandoned his smutty experiment, the "Petabyte Porn Project" lives on with fellow Redditor "-Archivist" and several volunteers pushing the total up by "upwards of 12 terabytes per day" using Github data released by beaston02.

As for why the project's original instigator stopped, beaston02 said: "Plenty of people have labeled me some huge pervert or someone with a huge porn addiction, but that's really not me at all.
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/293-years-worth-live-porn-cams-uploaded-amazon-cloud-storage-reddit-experiment-1636675




Next in People Are Dumb – let’s go to Ireland. You know we had an awesome time in Ireland as part of the Idiots World Tour. But the TSA is bound to find some ridiculous items left behind on flights, and this one might take the cake, and it falls under the “YOU HAD ONE JOB” category:

Aug. 22 (UPI) -- A headstone with an ironic inscription was one of many bizarre items found abandoned at an airport in Ireland.

The Dublin Airport Authority released a list of unusual items found at the airport lost and found, including a headstone with the inscription "you will always be remembered, never forgotten" that was left behind at a terminal, the Herald reported.

Despite the reverent inscription, the headstone was forgotten in the departures area of Terminal One several years ago.
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/08/22/You-will-always-be-remembered-headstone-left-at-Ireland-airport/8191503425281/




You will never be forgotten… except that one time! Next up our favorite state – Florida! Because of course what would a discussion about crazy stupid people be without our good friend Florida Man?

When Marco Sullivan was arrested in Lakeland on an outstanding warrant from Orange County, he didn't want his employer to know, so he asked his girlfriend, Martisha Wilson to try and cover it up for him.

He told Wilson to download a Polk Sheriff's Office letterhead. Sullivan told her to write a letter saying that he was on a special mission with the ATF Division of the Polk Sheriff's Office.

But the letter had red flags from beginning to end.

"He'll be on the unit for 6 months or less," Judd read from the letter. "Do (sic) to the severity of the case, I am not able to enclosed (sic), E-N-C-L-O-S-E-D, no farther (sic), F-A-R-T-H-E-R, information," Judd read, spelling out some of the misspelled words.
http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/273252730-story




Finally this week – for People Are Dumb, we go to why not? Also Florida. And if you’re a wanted man who’s running from the law, maybe you *DON’T* watch the eclipse:

Authorities in Florida say an auto theft suspect who wanted to watch the moon blot out the sun instead has a blot on his record.

The Orange County Sheriff's Office said on its Facebook page that Jocsan Rosado was arrested Monday after he parked what deputies say was a stolen car to watch the eclipse.

Deputies say Rosado stole the vehicle, and unbeknownst to him, was being followed by detectives with the auto theft unit.

Deputies say he stopped at a hardware store to purchase a welding mask for watching the eclipse safely.

http://time.com/4910967/florida-man-solar-eclipse-steals-car/?utm_campaign=time&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&xid=time_socialflow_facebook




That’s it this week for People Are Dumb!




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[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #12: South Africa
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Let’s spin the wheel one last time this week! What? Go Directly To Jail? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Wait – I’ve got that Get Out Of Jail Free card! Sweet! Spin it again! And it lands on… World Tour 2017! Hit it!



Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, finally we’re done with Europe. The European people have been really great to us and we want to thank all of our host countries. But we must move on and stick to the tour schedule! In the last couple of weeks we discovered that Sweden lacks privacy, the Netherlands has a case of food poisoning, and the Czech Republic has some racist neighbors. Now we’re on to Africa! Here’s the tour schedule:



[font size="6"]South Africa[/font]



Welcome to Africa everybody! We have finally left Europe after 11 stops and now we’re onto the southern nation of South Africa! South Africa is the home of nature – which includes such scenic cities as Johannesburg and Cape Town. It’s the home of the Zulu civilization, if you play Civilization V, you should definitely be familiar with the Zulu nation. It’s the home to some of the world’s largest nature reserves where you can see some of the rare and endangered wildlife you grew up with as a kid, like cheetahs, elephants, and grizzly bears, and you can see it before the trophy hunters get to it. I kid, I kid. Hey miss, give it a chance. We’re almost done this week. Getting back on topic – there’s lots to know and like about South Africa. There’s the capital Johannesburg which includes one of the world’s natural wonders – the Cradle Of Humankind, which many people say hold the key to the origins of civilization. It’s also the home of the Apartheid museum. Yeah there’s really nothing funny about that. South Africa is also home to city states Lesotho and Swaziland. Lesotho has some of Africa’s highest peaks and lowest lows, while Swaziland is home to some of the world’s biggest nature reserves where you can see some of the best wildlife like zebras, lions, cheetahs, tigers and giraffes. But what else is South Africa the home of? Well for starters their racists make ours look like chumps! I mean… holy shit!

A South African judge on Friday found two white farmers guilty of attempted murder after they filmed themselves forcing a black man into a coffin and threatening to burn him alive.

"For attempted murder of Mr [Victor] Mlotshwa, I hereby find you both guilty," Judge Segopotje Mphahlele told the accused before supporters of the victim burst out in celebratory songs in the courtroom.

Willem Oosthuizen and Theo Martins Jackson, both wearing jackets and ties, were also found guilty of kidnapping, intimidation, and assault with intent to do grievous bodily harm.

Al Jazeera's Haru Mutasa, reporting from Middelburg outside the court, said the judge decided to release the two from detention until the sentencing day on September 23.
http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2017/08/south-african-farmers-guilty-coffin-assault-170825124016651.html




Yes holy shit indeed! This is far more serious of a crime than what your usual run of the mill American racists do! And while I shouldn’t… I hear Coffin Assault is opening for Danzig this year! Hey I’m your host here! Let’s lighten things up and talk about global warming, shall we?

South Africa’s coastline will be most affected by all the ice caps melting

This kind of goes without saying, but the coastline will cop it. If all the ice melted today, then you’d basically have a beachfront property in Stellenbosch. The West Coast will be gone as would most of the Cape Flats.

Port Elizabeth and East London will lose plenty of its coastline Port Shepstone is basically gone while much of Durban will also be washed under. Richard’s Bay is gone and the Lush iSimangaliso Wetland Park’s name becomes a bit more literal.
How long will it take for all the world’s ice to melt?

While global warming is a serious issue, losing the country’s coastline is obviously not going to happen overnight.

National Geographic reports that eastern Himalayan glaciers “could virtually disappear by 2035”.
https://www.thesouthafrican.com/what-would-happen-so-south-africa-if-all-the-icecaps-melted-video/




Yeah poor Milhouse! Well what else goes on in South Africa? Well, South Africa’s neighbors to the north are the nation of Zimbabwe, who are ruled by murderous dictator Robert Mugabe, and his wife Grace is a gem:

A South African woman who has said she was whipped with an electrical cord by Grace Mugabe has filed court papers challenging her government’s decision to grant Zimbabwe’s first lady diplomatic immunity, advocacy group Afriforum said.

Mugabe is accused of attacking 20-year-old Gabriella Engels after the model went to see the Mugabes’ sons, Robert and Chatunga, at the Capital 20 West hotel in Johannesburg’s upmarket Sandton district earlier this month.

Police had initially placed border posts on “red alert” to prevent Mugabe from leaving the country when the incident came to light. But South Africa’s international relations minister later said she had granted diplomatic immunity to the wife of Zimbabwe’s 93-year-old president, Robert Mugabe.

Afriforum has given legal backing to Engels, and is working on the case with Gerrie Nel, the prosecutor who famously secured a murder conviction against Olympic and Paralympic star Oscar Pistorius.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/aug/24/south-african-woman-challenges-grace-mugabes-immunity-over-assault-claim




That was an absolute classic from Keenan Thompson. South Africa is also home to some extreme poverty – and we do put some major emphasis on extreme.

Johannesburg - China has vowed to assist South Africa fight off poverty and increase its economic growth.

Chinese Ambassador to SA Lin Songtian on Thursday said he was prepared to share lessons learnt by his native country and how it has emancipated its people throughout the years.

"I am fully committed to promoting the China-African friendship and am deeply honoured and proud to be able to participate and promote the great cause of China-Africa win-win cooperation for common development. I wish to use the opportunity given to share some of my thoughts on how China has transformed from poverty to prosperity," he said at a press briefing held at the embassy headquarters in Pretoria.

Songtian's remarks come two days after Statistician-General Pali Lehohla released a report which stated that more than 30 million South Africans live in poverty.
https://www.iol.co.za/news/politics/china-vows-to-help-sa-fight-poverty-increase-economic-growth-10924563




Holy shit yes. There’s really nothing funny we can make about that. But is there really anything we can joke about coming out of South Africa? I guess not! This would be a right winger’s dream country – even their hunters are douchebags!
Johannesburg (CNN)South Africa's first online auction of rhinoceros horn is underway, with more than 500 kilograms up for bid from Wednesday through Friday.

On Sunday, the High Court in Pretoria paved the way for the controversial auction, ordering the minister of environmental affairs to hand over a permit for the sale of 264 rhino horns to breeder John Hume.

Hume, who owns the world's largest private collection of rhinos, has battled to overturn a ban on the sale of horn in South Africa for years.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/23/africa/south-africa-rhino-horn-auction/index.html




[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

South Africa is a very nice place to visit. However, if you’re thinking of moving there, don’t. They do not welcome outsiders very well, and their neighbors to the north are places you do *NOT* want to visit.

Tourism: B
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: D-
Liberal Appeal: C-

Overall: C-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

Next week it’s off to South America and we will visit the home of coal mining, the Andes Mountains and murderous dictators as we head to Chile!



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]Mumford & Sons [/font]


My next guest has recorded an awesome EP that you should definitely check out. It’s called “The Johannesburg EP” and it features Mumford and Sons with Baabal Maal and Beatenburg. Now playing their song “Mora”, give it up for Mumford & Sons!




Yeah how about that?

We are off next week, we'll be back on Wednesday 9/13 with an all new edition. Wait what? That means the tour schedule is screwed up. Great.

See you in two weeks!
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