Breaking: Romney To Deliver GOP Convention Speech Via Jumbotron From Remote Location
"I'll never be able to face those people in person", said the candidate.
"They're on to me and now and I just have to lay low til November. This will be awkward", he said.
Romney went on to say, "If the convention is any good, it'll be on youtube. That's the beauty of the net.... I don't actually have to be there."
The candidate's remarks surprised and stunned many in his party as well as members of his own campaign staff.
Said one anonymous source, who spoke on condition of that secret thing where your name is not given, "He's gone off script again, and this is the kind of crap that happens every dang time. It's demoralizing and dehumanizing to be staffing for such a goon, to be quite honest. Please don't repeat that."
Organizers of the convention are considering a large inflatable, Macy's balloon-type figure of Romney to represent the missing presidential candidate at the convention in Tampa, later this summer.
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Ta-ta-ta-ta-talking to teabaggers!
