From Cracked.com: The 5 Stupidest People On The Planet (Are All Donald Trump)

[Orrex]

Please don't rec this, because I don't want to look like I'm getting (or owed) credit simply for linking to someone else's cleverness.

Here is the terrific article.

Here's a taste:

Remember when Trump was always saying he was the best at military? That wasn't a crafty lie to get the tank loader vote; he really thinks that. But why? How? He dodged military service with a note from his gynecologist, and the only book on war he's read is a Hitler cat recipe book. Well, I've done my best to piece together how he came to think of himself as the greatest military mind of our time. It's pretty amazing how many personality and mental disorders had to come together to make it happen. Keep in mind that I'm not a licensed doctor and can't diagnose him. However, I do know that popular disabled impersonator Donald Trump has so much evil inside him that his proctologist's ungloved fingers now add an anus to any flesh they touch. When Trump got an MRI, the computer just showed an image of his daughter squatting over Jesus Christ and peeing into his missing eyes. With that in mind, let's examine the 4D chessboard the commander in chief calls his "very good brain."

[FSogol]

1. Seanbaby is hilarious. n/t

[Orrex]

2. I know!

He's really good at misdirection and unexpected callbacks.

Makes it tough to read his stuff in my cube, to be honest.

[FSogol]

3. Did you ever read his website before Cracked online existed?

Some of the funniest stuff on the web. He wrote about cooking food using ingredients purchased at a Japanese grocery store with the caveat that it had to be stuff he couldn't identify. "I knew that if I was going to continue eating my cooking, I should have the numbers 9-1 pre-dialed on my telephone." And one essay where he posited that Lynda Carter was proof of the existence of God. Or homemade fireworks?

[Orrex]

4. I'll have to seek him out

I only discovered him through Cracked, and he has never disappointed!

[Orrex]

5. Here's a line that actually made me LOL.

nothing any Democrat will ever do is similar to bragging about grabbing pussies while you're married to a model you bought from Slovenia.

Cracked.com gets a bit of flak for being "just a comedy website," but much of their writing is very strong, and they offer a lot of damning political commentary.

One of my daily go-to sites, especially in times like these.

[smirkymonkey]

6. Kicking for later viewing!

Can't access Cracked from work, but I love that website and Sean Baby is one of the best.

Can't wait to read it when I get home!

[ismnotwasm]

7. That was brilliant

This line cracked me up—the whole thing was good

Donald Trump has so much evil inside him that his proctologist's ungloved fingers now add an anus to any flesh they touch.

[Orrex]

8. The article is chock full of magnificent zingers!

The line that you cited made me laugh as well!

[cyclonefence]

9. This is great

I remember Cracked magazine as a third-rate Mad, but this is a whole 'nother animal. There's a lot of good material at this site, and I'm grateful to have been directed to it.

[Orrex]

10. I wish I could remember how I first discovered it

Like you, I recall the generally lame not-Mad magazine, but the website is a magnificent rebirth.

Occasionally they even poke fun at their prior incarnation.


Warning: you can get lost on that site, clicking on prior lists and articles until you realize that you should have been at work nine hours ago.

[cyclonefence]

11. I am embarrassed to confess

I spent a good 15 minutes looking at their t-shirt collection. That was after I read a couple more pieces and took a quiz.

[ismnotwasm]

12. I never paid a whole lot of attention-once in a while maybe

Then I read “John Dies at the End” by David Wong—(John Cheese of Cracked’s pseudonym)-as well as the follow up “This Book is Full of Spiders seriously dude don’t touch it”. I’m waiting for book number three.

I’ve been a much bigger fan ever since.

[cyclonefence]

13. Okay, now you've got me hooked

I have such a pile of stuff to read, but I might have to reshuffle the order. Thanks--I think.

[ismnotwasm]

15. Its crazy stuff

But a lot of fun—with just enough occasional deep insight to make it worthwhile

[cyclonefence]

16. And well-written

I just can't get over Cracked, which was such a pathetic attempt to be a Mad, surviving into this incarnation of genuine wit.

[mountain grammy]

14. I'm recommending it anyway because everyone should have a crack at it!

Wasn't Cracked a spin off of Mad a few hundred years ago? anyway, thanks so much for the link. Loved it! Have it bookmarked now.